My W gives "duty sex" as well, which can be as bad as no sex sometimes because she's not doing it out of love for me, but resentfully because she had to do something that she was not excited about. I can just tell.
Oddly, she does have orgasms from oral/rubbing, which I'm always sure to do, and I'm sure she enjoys that, but she just doesn't have any sort of drive to seek it out from me. She also just doesn't like to relax & let herself go crazy with me. She said it's "weird."
On the other end of Score Keeping, I've got 1/2 a mind to start a chart for chores & household duties. I'm willing to wage that I do at least 75%, then she has the nerve to grumble & gripe when everything isn't up to her standards. Ugh!
It is so strange to me that I can bend over backwards to meet her needs, but she won't do the same for me. BTW, she told me over a month ago that she wanted to see her OB/GYN b/c of LD/ND, but she's done nothing. So, if she was even just taking some action to address this concern, I'd feel SO much better! Alas, this need of mine continues to be pushed to the backburner over & over again.
Appropriately, I just read NMMNG & beginning to apply those practices, so we'll see how that goes. She's been spoiled by me for long enough & I'm losing steam. Maybe she needs to feel the void like I do.