Hopless and frustrated newlywed wife

hopeformore · 07-03-2009, 12:55 AM

Hi all,
I am in my mid 20 and my hubby is early 30. We have been married for one year and together for 2 years. I've found myself wanting to have sex way more than he does. He always claim to be tired, stressed from work and not feeling well (he does have slightly higher blood pressure)...
We talked about the problem and nothing had improved much at all...

Is it something wrong with me wanting to have sex so often than a man?

I am so frustrated and surfing for an answer...how often does a newlywed (b/w mid 20 to 30) to have sex? Why is my husband never seem to have interest in sex? What should I do?!! I do want sex but ain't getting any from him!

MarkTwain · 07-03-2009, 04:07 AM

How often are you actually getting down to it?

hopeformore · 07-03-2009, 10:39 AM

hmm....probably once or couple times per month?

hopeformore · 07-03-2009, 10:52 AM

and the main problems are...

Even when we do have sex, he doesn't last too long (of coz already improved than before..but still not long enough..)

sometimes, I feel like he is having sex with me as a job..not bcoz he wants to make love to me.

For example last night....we could have made love, but we ended up in a small arguement...

the story is like this...
We have not had sex in almost a month and I know he noticed I am not too happy with the low and slow production...so, last night..he ASKED me if i want to have sex? ASKED? why ask? I told him many times why do you have to ask? And the way how he ask....

Hubby, "babe, I don't know what to get you for our one year anniversary, what do you want? Things I want to buy you are too expensive and I know we have to save $..."
me, "I don't want anything (My mind is thinking..I am too stressed lately to think about anything else but the darm exam)
Hubby," You want to have sex? It will be a great present..."

I don't know...as a woman, I just feel my hubby doesn't have much interest in sex and I feel like he think making love to me is his hubby's duty instead of something he enjoys...

Sometimes, he would joke with me and tell me..."Let me pay my taxes"...Taxes as having sex with me.

Even though when we do have sex, I am not too satisfy with it...

Sometimes, I ask myself...why even bother having sex with him when he doesn't have interest and it isn't that great anyway?

Bottom line...I am not happy with my marriage sex life and it only been a year we got married!

MarkTwain · 07-03-2009, 03:19 PM

How often does he jerk off on his own?

Blanca · 07-03-2009, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopeformore

sometimes, I feel like he is having sex with me as a job..not bcoz he wants to make love to me.

Ya i know that feeling. When i first moved in with my H he never wanted sex (three years later he's still not really interested). and he never lasted long when we did. i went to all kinds of extremes trying to figure out what was wrong, how to fix it. i asked what he wanted, tried to dress the way he liked, do the things he liked, etc. you know what it got me? two years later he tells me he resents me for trying to "make" him have sex.

I found out my H was into porn, though. even after i found that out i still tried everything to help him. i wanted to fix the relationship but he was not interested.

all i can tell you is just back off. i know that sucks, its frustrating, and its demoralizing, believe me ive been there, but you cannot make him want to work on the relationship. As hard as it is, he's not interested. Stop forcing it or it'll just get ugly and you will keep getting hurt. protect your own heart.