Sharing a fantasy...do you "deserve" a response?
Let's face it, for many if not most couples, it's often not so easy to open up and share sexual fantasies with their partners.
Over the last several months I have shared some fantasies that some might consider a slightly out of the ordinary. Standards for this vary by couple of course but it's fair to say that they are not shockingly strange but enough "different" that I was a slightly embarrassed to share them and I didn't know what her reaction would be.
I got hardly any reaction from my wife each time I shared. I am left feeling very disappointed by this as I feel that opening up and sharing like this "deserves" some kind of response. I am NOT saying that the response to it needs to be agreement to live out the fantasy! However, I feel that it deserves at least, for example something like:
Interest in learning more - "Interesting, let's talk about this. What about this turns you on" etc.
Clear signal she is not interested at all - "Repulsive! Honestly that kind of turns me off. Thanks for sharing but..."
Interest in exploring her possible interest - "Hmmm...that sounds hot what if we played around with the fantasy in this way (something she was in her comfort zone)".
Enthusiasm for doing it - "Great..Ive had the same fantasy. Let's discuss and/or play it out"
Compromise - "Here's one of mine that is along a related theme..."
Trigger to get her to share - "I've never had an interest in that but here's one of mine.."
I think you get the idea. I feel hurt that it seems like she has not really thought about what I've shared with her. Like a shrug of the shoulders when I've gone out on a limb and shared these things with her. Also hurt that she does not seem to feel that me sharing these things has increased intimacy with me and that she's happy to know me better for it.
Again, I do not expect her to align around my fantasies or even to react right away...like if she thinks about it and then gives some kind of reaction at another time. But doesn't sharing deserve some kind of reaction? Any kind of reaction? Isn't a proverbial shoulder shrug insulting? I don't think that she's just afraid to say that she's repulsed as I've shared fantasies with very different themes. There is plenty of her to "play with" there.