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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 01-10-2013, 11:19 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Originally Posted by Code-Welder View Post
Why would a wife not express the need for more than humping to her husband? My wife was not shy about asking or talking about sex and what she wanted and what she did not like, why do lovers not talk about sex?
Because some women don't learn about their bodies. There was a post not long ago about a woman who had been in a 20 year marriage and she has never had an orgasm. That's crazy!


Being a good lover takes practice, and every person is different.
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:24 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Originally Posted by LdyVenus View Post
Because some women don't learn about their bodies. There was a post not long ago about a woman who had been in a 20 year marriage and she has never had an orgasm. That's crazy!


Being a good lover takes practice, and every person is different.


Practice or communication, exploration and practice? Sounds like the latter could be bonding, educational and fun. Sounds like it would permeate into the rest of the marriage and enhance every aspect. Just a thought.
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:26 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Originally Posted by LdyVenus View Post
Because some women don't learn about their bodies. There was a post not long ago about a woman who had been in a 20 year marriage and she has never had an orgasm. That's crazy!


Being a good lover takes practice, and every person is different.
That is crazy, and I guess I understand, some people are just different. I could not imagine not taking care of a lover, her husband must have been clueless or selfish.

One thing I learned in 30 years of marriage, speak up and talk to one another.
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:26 AM   #19 (permalink)
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It is a bad thing. Men start getting turned down because wifey is bored with all of that "emotional bonding" (humping). Then they start complaining they don' get sex. I wonder how many men would want to have sex twice a day if they only had three orgasms a year?
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Well I am of the opinion that if one isnt getting thiers then they need to take responsibility to get thiers.
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:42 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Why would a wife not express the need for more than humping to her husband? My wife was not shy about asking or talking about sex and what she wanted and what she did not like, why do lovers not talk about sex?
I know I know. Why do I find it so darn hard to communicate. I think I just have to get over being concerned about wounding his ego.

I DO orgasm from oral sex, and it takes longer, but also from his manual stimulation. If we have sex 3x/week, I think it's unreasonable to expect oral sex 3x/week. I give him a BJ about 1x/week but 3x/week would be a lot for me. So that would leave his hand to give me an O, but that could take a really long time. Maybe I'm overanalyzing this. Maybe I should get that vibrator. Maybe I should communicate more although I would guess that my lack of vocalization during PIV sex (I do moan during oral sex) would be an indicator of my stimulation level, but I shouldn't assume that.
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:49 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

Experimenting with different positions to find what gives the greatest amount of pleasure for each of you is a great thing. Communicating about what gives you each pleasure is vital.

Have you ever tried something like this The BangO Vibrating Pleasure - Assorted Colors - BNG110E - A Place For Passion for your missionary position. It can extend the time that he can last, he may feel bigger inside you and the vibe is wonderful for stimulating your clit so you can get there quicker. Toys can increase the intensity of the O that you are experiencing as well.

I love having O but there are times that I don't due to stress or something and I still enjoy the intimacy. If it was a situation of "wham bam thank you maam" with no regards to my pleasure then I would not be happy with that.

I can tell if my H is gonna be more prone to a quickie, at these times I will take top where I have more control and can prolong the event til I am able to O.
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:23 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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I know I know. Why do I find it so darn hard to communicate. I think I just have to get over being concerned about wounding his ego. .
My DH and I seldom talked with each other about our needs for the first 10 years. But after the infidelity on both of our parts and some counseling we started talking and communicating about our needs all the time. Kept both of us on track for last 20 years.

It is essential communicate, his ego is likely not as fragile as you might think. 98% of the time we made love I made sure she had a O. But later I found out that there were things she wanted in bed that I was not doing. She and I were both surprised some of the things we both had not expressed we both wanted to do.

It made the last 20 years we had together a lot more fun in bed. I guess the only advise on talking to one another is, it is not what you say, it is how you say it.
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:31 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

I can't O from PIV....but I still love missionary as much as any other position.

Not just the emotional bonding.... the whole "dominance" of him on top of me is hot, too. In my case, I do love the feeling, even if I don't get an O out of it.
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:34 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Dont assume that because you would not tolerate giving a BJ 3 times a week that your guy would feel the same way about oral sex he performs on you.

He may want to do that every single day even if you don't.
You are over analyzing it, I think....don't need to "keep score" on how many times someone gets a particular sexual favor and therefore have to reciprocate the exact same #. The only time it becomes significant is when one partner is being completely selfish, all the time.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:18 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Originally Posted by Code-Welder View Post
Why would a wife not express the need for more than humping to her husband? My wife was not shy about asking or talking about sex and what she wanted and what she did not like, why do lovers not talk about sex?
Sometimes its not that easy. Based on your later post in thsi thread, and the fact you didn't communicate much for the first 10 years of your marriage, I suspect you are aware of the difficulties that can exist in communication on this part.

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Originally Posted by IslandGirl3 View Post
If we have sex 3x/week, I think it's unreasonable to expect oral sex 3x/week. I give him a BJ about 1x/week but 3x/week would be a lot for me.
A) What is to much for you isn't necessarily to much for him.
B) Don't keep score.
C) Not to sound sexist here, but based on what I have read, especially on this thread, men are typically more into giving oral sex to their partner than women are, so odds are he will be up to providing more oral sex to you than you are to him.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:22 PM   #26 (permalink)
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I'm lol'ing, because my wife is like some of the descriptions here, and it just popped into my mind that our sex life is like a game of minsesweeper, with the clues missing.... I keep guessing, sometimes I'm lucky, and win, others, it blows up in my face.
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:11 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Sometimes its not that easy. Based on your later post in thsi thread, and the fact you didn't communicate much for the first 10 years of your marriage, I suspect you are aware of the difficulties that can exist in communication on this part.
I do not think it was that difficult, the problem was I was on the road all the time. Once we had children and I was traveling for work was the main communication problem. We had other things we talked about when I was able to get home. Distance was more of the issue than communication.

The silver lining to the infidelity was the end result of better communication and then came closer bonding and marriage.

Sometimes it is a easy as just having a honest non judgmental talk with your partner. The difficult part is not letting it get to the point of frustration in your sex life. I see the cycle here all the time when I read through the forum.

One of the two partners does not get enough sex, gets frustrated and then grumpy. Feeding the lack of wanting the bonding of sex. Most times it seems to be men but clearly it also can be women get frustrated when they are not getting their needs met. It then spirals to the point both people are frustrated and angry.

Once you step back and look at what got you to that point it is easier to see a quick but meaningful non judgmental talk with your partner earlier in the problem likely could have corrected the problem. I am sure not in all cases but I bet it would help the vast majority.
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:36 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

5 - 10 minutes of PIV and my wife is cumming like a freight train. That's our particular problem - it's actually too easy for her, leaving her uninterested in experimenting with anything else. I can only remember 1 orgasm for her from anything other than PIV in nearly 3 decades.
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:47 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

that sounds AWESOME!
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:59 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

Are you saying your husband doesn't know that you don't orgasm from missionary position sex? How long have you been married? Is this not something you talk about? Sorry, I'm a bit confused from your posts.

Anyway, I come easily from PIV missionary because over the 20+ years my husband and I have been having sex he (and I) has worked out several techniques that work. It's more a grinding move than an thrusting one.

He also gives me oral sex nearly every time we have sex, which is 4+ times a week atm. I do the same for him, it doesn't seem like much to ask to me.
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