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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 01-11-2013, 11:53 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Originally Posted by Code-Welder View Post
I myself enjoy hearing what you women feel, it gives me some idea as to what is happening. I know what my wife told me she use to feel, but all women are different.

She would sometimes get a O from PIV but only about 33% of the time. But always got a O from oral. What you are saying explains something I wondered. If a woman does not get a O from PIV, why do they like PIV.

The ladies in this thread have explained a lot of the pleasure that men like myself find hard to understand. Men seem to feel not having a O is not pleasurable for the most part. Explains why women often enjoy a quickie without a O.
I do not get O's from PIV alone. If I self-stimulate during PIV I do.

But I would never want to give up PIV and only get O's. Nor would I want to give up O's for only PIV. I need both.
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:02 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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I do not get O's from PIV alone. If I self-stimulate during PIV I do.

But I would never want to give up PIV and only get O's. Nor would I want to give up O's for only PIV. I need both.
My Dh did get them as mentioned just from PIV but it was rare and most times have a lot of warming up and time in between PIV time.

What had me interested in reading was that it seems some ladies can enjoy just PIV sex without having a O. Not many men I know find PIV sex enjoyable unless we have a O.

I had over the year pleasured my wife with oral without her reciprocating. Those few times were me just wanting my wife to relax and enjoy something without having to give something in return. Most times she was tired and the O just allowed her to relax further and nap or go to sleep.

The few times when I was a young man and PIV sex happened and I did not O, I ended up with sore gonads, blue balls.
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Old 01-11-2013, 01:30 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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I agree but the orgasm thing isn't all the guys fault.

I am willing to do oral, use toys, whatever, to ensure she gets as much out of it as I do. To ask for Missionary only and then be put off because she didn't 'O' is really just putting up a road block.

I am not sure how to handle it for women. If you reach for a toy, it might make your husband feel inadequate. But it is up to you to ensure you are satisfied.

What has worked for us lately is that I bought a little vibrator (Jimmyjane FORM 2 Vibrator - $145.00) that is fairly quiet and is right next to my bed. When I am thinking about making love, I make sure I have it in bed and have it warm. If she isn't into oral and we don't get there during intercourse, then I use it on her. She never says no, if I bring it out at the right time (once we are well into it).

We just used the Form 2 this morning! She has a hitachi wand and an eroscillator both of which leave her "stunned" but for it's size, the Form 2 is awesome. It's our "travel" piece, especially with the ability to lock it out while travelling so it can't accidentaley turn on. It is quiet and unbelievably powerful for its size
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Old 01-11-2013, 01:44 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

From the descriptions, I liken it to this:

If you masturbate a man at the base of his penis, and only the base of his penis, no head action at all, he's likely to feel sexually stimulated. It will feel good, and it'll be enjoyable for me.

Some men will be able to reach climax from base-only masturbation, however many men will likely not orgasm from this. For some, even if they can, it will take a very long time, and a lot of constant stimulation to get there. And some will not feel any sensation whatsoever.

The way PIV sex is described by a lot of women (not all) just makes me think the closest approximation for a man to understand is thinking of masturbating without including the nerve sensitive head of his penis.
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Old 01-11-2013, 01:52 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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My Dh did get them as mentioned just from PIV but it was rare and most times have a lot of warming up and time in between PIV time.
Sorry to go on a tangent, but . . . DH? I thought that was dear husband?
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Old 01-11-2013, 02:24 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Sorry to go on a tangent, but . . . DH? I thought that was dear husband?
I am new here and I was thinking it meant Dear Heart = which was what my wife and I use to often call each other. Kind of on the learning curve for acronyms on this forum.

Sorry if I have confused anyone.
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Old 01-11-2013, 02:31 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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From the descriptions, I liken it to this:

The way PIV sex is described by a lot of women (not all) just makes me think the closest approximation for a man to understand is thinking of masturbating without including the nerve sensitive head of his penis.
Interesting analogy, my wife said there was a difference in what she said she felt when she got a G-spot O and a clitoris O. The G-spot which she got with both PIV and with oral and some digital stimulation was a deep O, a very relaxing type O.

Both were very nice but the G-spot was a overall body relaxing feel than the clitoris O. She liked them both, the clitoris O was much easier for her to reach. I think based on what I recall they often came at random for G-spot. Maybe she was more relaxed or mentally more in tune when it happened.
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Old 01-11-2013, 02:34 PM   #53 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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I got the impression, from TAM and elsewhere, that it is not uncommon for a woman to NOT orgasm from PIV sex. When a poster asked, "does your husband know that you do not orgasm from PIV sex." I'd have to say definitely. When I do orgasm from oral sex, I am vocal and my body tenses, and I am sure there are other signs. During PIV sex, I don't make any sounds because I'm not going to be contrived - I just don't feel all that orgasm goodness.

I definitely DO feel the in and out motion, but when my H stops moving, I literally do not feel him inside me. That's in missionary. I do feel him doggie style.

With no orgasm on the horizon from PIV sex, it just feels like an in and out motion to me. We have tried several positions in the last few weeks, like cowgirl, reverse cowgirl (had to look these up - found this website List of All Sex Positions), missionary but my feet at a 90 degree angle to my body, and although some of these require acrobatic skill, I still don't feel anything close to an impending orgasm.
Okay, but have you talked about it? Have you talked together about how having an orgasm during sex at some point, whether from oral, hand, toys or whatever is important to you? Is it important to him?

In most women, the nerve endings don't go that far into the vagina, they're clustered around the opening. Some have a bunch a bit further up at the front - the g-spot - but others don't, I don't for example.

So yeah, for me, no direct clitoral stimulation = no orgasm. But there are ways to get that direct stimulation during missionary position sex.

TMI possibly here. If your husband pushes in really deeply and kind of rotates his pubic bone against your clitoras at the right rate, that might work. If you are on top and you kind of lean forward and grind against him in the same way, that might work. Or doggy style and you can use your hand or a vibrator.

But there's nothing wrong with needing oral to O. Just make sure it's part of each session.
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Old 01-11-2013, 02:53 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

I love love love missionary... especially the 'CAT' version It makes my toes curl!

OP - different positions rub/stroke differently (some i feel way more than others) but any position that rubs my g-spot area sets me off... so cow girl or CAT are my most pleasurable. I only cum from PIV every now and then, usually after I've already O'd from oral but if I'm going to cum from PIV it's going to be in one of those positions and even if i don't quite get there...it sure feels good trying

I really hope all you folks that aren't feeling much are doing your kegal exercises!!
They will increase sensations/feelings for both of you...
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:06 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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I love love love missionary... especially the 'CAT' version It makes my toes curl!
Just being proactive before the question comes....CAT= Coital Alignment Technique. My wife and I use this frequently. Especially when she is on top. She has been able to O during me on top missionary but it is infrequent and requires some serious work on both our parts.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:24 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

IslandGirl3,

Thanks for this thread. It explained what I had wondered about a few things.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:28 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

Thanks all! Just to get a bit more technical here - for me to orgasm from oral sex can take 10-20+ minutes. For the women who can achieve a clitoral orgasm from sex, either from her own hand, or the guys hand, or the guys penis or pelvis, since sex doesn't really last for 10-20 minutes, how can you orgasm so quickly? Are you already on the orgasm trajectory from foreplay before you begin PIV?
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:38 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Thanks all! Just to get a bit more technical here - for me to orgasm from oral sex can take 10-20+ minutes. For the women who can achieve a clitoral orgasm from sex, either from her own hand, or the guys hand, or the guys penis or pelvis, since sex doesn't really last for 10-20 minutes, how can you orgasm so quickly? Are you already on the orgasm trajectory from foreplay before you begin PIV?
I'll speak for my wife, who isn't here to speak for herself.

Sex (and I mean actual PIV, actively thrusting, real sex) can certainly last more than 20 minutes if necessary, and frequently does. Not sure why you think otherwise.

Normally, my wife needs less than 10 minutes, sometimes only 5, to achieve orgasm, and that's from a complete "cold start". She hates, loathes, and avoids foreplay like the plague, so there's no guessing here - she is NOT on the E-ticket ride to eyes-rolling-back-in-the-head before we start. Most of the time she can get to a climax before I can.

It wasn't always like this. When we first got married, it took about a year to figure it out. Ever since then, it's been at least one and as many as three per episode, all from nothing more than PIV.
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:10 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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since sex doesn't really last for 10-20 minutes



Penetrative sex for plenty of people does last that long.
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:19 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

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Well I dont use toys or anything but I do thrust along with him while hr is on top.
One thing that helps me with my O's though is contracting the muscles down there while he is thrusting. It also helps me feel more.
^^^^^^
THIS right there is the answer.
Time his movements and you thrust to meet his.
Also , if you can't feel anything, just place a pillow below your hips and wrap your legs around his waist.
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