Husband looking for preteen porn.
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 02-14-2013, 12:23 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband looking for preteen porn.

I posted a few days ago about my husband not ever wanting sex, and acting uninterested in it. I thought he was cheating, so I put a keylogger on his phone. Today while I was visiting my grandma that just had surgery he searched for "young porn" "preteen porn" and "teen porn" he is 25. When I was 14 and he was 18 (when we first got together) he did look for preteen porn. I asked him why he used his streaming minutes and he said he didn't and I must have by accident. Btw he was looking at it for 30+ minutes. He doesn't last 2 minutes in bed. I didn't tell him about the keylogger. I don't know what websites he visited, or how long this has been going on or how serious it is. I am worried. I have two small children. What do I do?
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:29 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

this is OUTRAGEOUS! Underage porn is a CRIME! I cannot condone this action, and neither should you! Get a divorce ASAP, he doesn't sound like a worthy spouse!
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

You can go to jail for even looking it up in Australia, in fact I reckon you should report him but that's just me. The authorities will get him the help he needs before he does something potentially dangerous.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:35 AM   #4 (permalink)
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this is OUTRAGEOUS! Underage porn is a CRIME! I cannot condone this action, and neither should you! Get a divorce ASAP, he doesn't sound like a worthy spouse!
Oh yeah a divorce is happening ASAP. I'm worried about my children. I don't know if I should tell authorities? Get my children tested? I am so lost right now. If he's a pedophile then I can't have my children being a lone with him. I never expected this, cheating yes just not this and apparently he's an amazing liar. Who do I contact or should I just talk to a lawyer? I used a keylogger to find out and I think they're illegal so they couldn't use that in court. He would just get our kids every other weekend. I can't have that because I don't know if it is just "young and preteens". My kids are 3 & almost 2.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:37 AM   #5 (permalink)
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You can go to jail for even looking it up in Australia, in fact I reckon you should report him but that's just me. The authorities will get him the help he needs before he does something potentially dangerous.
That's what I'm thinking about doing. Would they be able to retrieve the data from his cellphone? Through the cellphone company maybe? He uses private browsing. Also his dad is the owner of the account and he bought the phone and pays the phonebills for him.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

Do tell the authorities, but make sure you have your evidence. I'm not so sure about this, but I'm sure if you ask the experts they should be able to guide you.

You did put a keylogger on his phone which is illegal I guess but if you can get him to use your computer somehow instead and put the keylogger on YOUR computer then you'll have legitimate evidence. You'll need it for the restraining order as well so you can keep him away from your children. This is really fked up, and I sure as hell wouldn't let him anywhere near your kids. Supervise them with him but don't cut him off yet until you get evidence from him lest he gets suspicious then you won't get anything.

But I don't know much, this is better left to the experts I think
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:40 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Oh yeah a divorce is happening ASAP. I'm worried about my children. I don't know if I should tell authorities? Get my children tested? I am so lost right now. If he's a pedophile then I can't have my children being a lone with him. I never expected this, cheating yes just not this and apparently he's an amazing liar. Who do I contact or should I just talk to a lawyer? I used a keylogger to find out and I think they're illegal so they couldn't use that in court. He would just get our kids every other weekend. I can't have that because I don't know if it is just "young and preteens". My kids are 3 & almost 2.
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Talk to a lawyer first, to get real-deal, real-world advice about legalities in your area. This is serious matter.

You must also dig deeper. Is he really addicted to underage porn or porn in general? If can be proven that he is very much into underage porn, then not only he would lose his visitation rights upon divorce, he would be in danger of being thrown to jail as well.

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Do tell the authorities, but make sure you have your evidence. You did put a keylogger on his phone but if you can get him to use your computer somehow instead and put the keylogger on YOUR computer then you'll have legitimate evidence. You'll need it for the restraining order as well so you can keep him away from your children.

This is really fked up, and I sure as hell wouldn't let him anywhere near your kids. Supervise them with him but don't cut him off yet until you get evidence from him lest he gets suspicious then you won't get anything.
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:00 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Talk to a lawyer first, to get real-deal, real-world advice about legalities in your area. This is serious matter.

You must also dig deeper. Is he really addicted to underage porn or porn in general? If can be proven that he is very much into underage porn, then not only he would lose his visitation rights upon divorce, he would be in danger of being thrown to jail as well.

I've personally dug as far into it as I can and from this point can only see what he vists from now on. Even though I could get arrested or it can't be used in court. I'm assuming he would be fine with signing his rights over or agreeing to permanent supervised visitation at the very least. I'm so blindsided by all of this. I never would have imagined this.

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Old 02-14-2013, 01:00 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

You could install a much better keylogger so that you get screen shots and website names. But you might not want to see what he's looking at.

I wondef if you speak to the police if they can do something to find out what he's doing. Personally, if my children's father was searching for pre-teen (aka child porn) I'd want him prosecuted so that he could never be with the children unsupervised.
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:05 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

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Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
Do tell the authorities, but make sure you have your evidence. I'm not so sure about this, but I'm sure if you ask the experts they should be able to guide you.

You did put a keylogger on his phone which is illegal I guess but if you can get him to use your computer somehow instead and put the keylogger on YOUR computer then you'll have legitimate evidence. You'll need it for the restraining order as well so you can keep him away from your children. This is really fked up, and I sure as hell wouldn't let him anywhere near your kids. Supervise them with him but don't cut him off yet until you get evidence from him lest he gets suspicious then you won't get anything.

But I don't know much, this is better left to the experts I think
Keyloggers and phones and sometimes on computer is illegal. You could be in legal trouble if you went to the authorities with evidence you captured in that manner. Look up your state laws.

If he is using a computer that the children use as well, then you can put a keylogger on it to monitor the children.

Find out how to do this legally. The police or FBI can search his computer and find out a lot about what he's doing.

You can search his computer to look for files he might have hidden on the hard drive. Search his entire computer drive(s) for things like *.jpg, *.bmp, *.tiff, and other image file extentions.

also search in files for things like @gmail, @hotmail some people keep logs of secret email accounts, passwords, accounts to porn sites, etc hidden on their computer. Search enough and you can find them.
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:15 AM   #11 (permalink)
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You could install a much better keylogger so that you get screen shots and website names. But you might not want to see what he's looking at.

I wondef if you speak to the police if they can do something to find out what he's doing. Personally, if my children's father was searching for pre-teen (aka child porn) I'd want him prosecuted so that he could never be with the children unsupervised.
I currently have ikeymonitor on his phone. It does take screenshots but I had it set to every 6 minutes and somehow it missed it. I want him punished more than anything but since it is illegal I didn't know what to do. I just found out tonight and feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't want it to backfire and have him get custody while I'm charged with spying. The "young" porn is more disturbing. To me that's under preteen. I feel so sick, he's such a sick person I can't believe I didn't find this out before. I honestly believe him 6-7 years ago when he said he thought preteen was just teen. I'm such an idiot.
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:26 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

I would get some legal advice ASAP. I would also take the kids to be checked and I would NEVER leave them alone with him again while you investigate this mess. I would try to get as much evidence as you can to use against him, but make sure you do this the right way and not something that could get you into trouble.

He is a sick person.
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Old 02-14-2013, 03:04 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

I agree with everything said here. I would be worried about my children ... however, my guess is that there is a difference between pedophilia and sexual abuse of his own children. I like to have sex with women ... that does not mean I would want to have sex with my own adult daughters (actually, mine are young but that wasn't my point). He might be interested looking at sexual images of young children but that doesn't mean he would have sex with HIS young children. That's the rational part of my brain ... my gut says that no way in hell would I allow him to have access to my children knowing that. I'd go with my gut.
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Old 02-14-2013, 05:14 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

This man is a potential danger to yourself and the children. Get away from him and keep him away from the kids.

I would advise you to check in confidence with a lawyer to check the laws where you live but do please be aware that in many countries any information gained through illegal phone / computer data logging could be ruled inadmissible in court (in the same way that evidence from an illegal search of a person or house is). I am sure you would not want him to escape prosecution because of something you did.
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Old 02-14-2013, 05:32 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband looking for preteen porn.

There is nothing wrong with maybe telling the authorities (and mobile carrier) that you 'honestly' saw him doing something disturbing on his phone if you can't reveal the spyware. Also, does he use cellular data or wifi? If wifi, where and what service (internet provider may be able to help)? What part of the globe are you at? This will help those who want to help you here research what the laws/rights are that you have.
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