Newbie :-(

HisBooBoo · 08-05-2009, 09:44 AM

Hey,

I have been married for 7 months, my husband had plenty of sexual experience me on the other hand very minimal, I was still a virgin when we got married. My husband is working 48 hour weeks, physical labor. I am unemployed, we live paycheck to paycheck. I have a huge sex drive and his well at times it seems low to me especially since we have been only married for 7 months. I just thought that sometimes even when he is tired he would still want to have sex with me. He says sex takes energy, which I agree with but thought that when you see your woman trying to make a move on you that would put you in the mood. Last night we were having sex, and I felt that he wasn't into it, so that turned me off, we tried for a bit but we didn't finish, I gave up and then he said we'll finish tomorrow, like it is a chore or something, I asked him why tomorrow and he said I am tired. Then I told him that I couldn't finish because it feels like he is not into it. Now I feel turned off and don't want to finish tonight, it feels like he's giving me pity sex. Any thoughts and advice would be helpful. I appreciate it.

GAsoccerman · 08-05-2009, 10:12 AM

well when your tired your tired....There were times my wife wanted sex and I was EXHAUSTED and barely could do it, but I did...

I would advise you to get some personal toys and service yourself when your husband is exhausted and pounce on him when he is rested.

Toys really help out.

hitched4ever · 08-05-2009, 10:18 AM

We guys like our woman to come after us. BUT, there is a fine line.
An overly aggressive or sexually demanding partner can be intimidating...for anyone, man or woman. Add long hours and financial stress to that and you end up with a recipe for 'bad sex'...or worse yet none.

My advice is to be kind, loving, and seductive to your man. Dont demand or expect fireworks. Just make love to him. Allow him to do the same to you. Dont put 'numerical demands' on him. Just let nature take its course. If his sex drive is remotely normal he will respond to a sexy loving wife. And on occasion if he is too tired or stressed to make the heavens explode just take care of biz yourself. Who knows, that may even light his fuse.

Blanca · 08-06-2009, 12:01 AM

Your situation sounds so similar to mine. i didnt work, or do anything, when i first moved with my h. he never wanted sex and i wanted it all the time. its a horrible feeling. i'll never forget those days. i really feel for you. i put a keylogger and spyware on my H's computer and found tons of porn. so much for him being tired, etc.

but, you do have to keep in mind that you sit around all day. you have too much time to think. your world is now revolving around this. your H has some accountability in the pain you are feeling, but then so do you. get on with your life and do something with your life instead of sitting around waiting to pick a fight with him. get a job, get a hobby, volunteer, do something. an idle mind is the devils workshop. and above all, stop asking for sex! trust me. i kept asking and my self-esteem plummeted. i tried dressing up, doing my hair how my H likes, blah, blah, blah. it was a bunch of BS! ive never felt so humiliated or so low. your H doesnt want to have sex with you. i know that hurts, but it will only hurt more the more you keep throwing yourself at him and he keeps rejecting you.

forget the sex right now and start fixing your own life. you cant put energy into making a good life for yourself if you're constantly draining it on this issue.