No sex for 3 years - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3
No sex for 3 years

My husband is in his early 30s, I am in my late 20s. We've been married for 5 years. No Kids(you'll find out why). About 3 years ago we stopped having sex. We would make out, kiss, foreplay, cuddling and other fun stuff, but no SEX. During foreplay, I would be ready to have sex but by then his erection would be gone. He would get an erection for a few mins and then when it came time for intercourse, he would get soft and lose the erection. Leaving me unsatisfied.
A few questions.
1) what is wrong with him? he is not that old to not have sex.
2) I've notice myself being cranky, I read online if a women goes without sex for a while, she'll be agitated and cranky.
3) I've also noticed him being more irritable.
I've told him to get fertility testing done. He refuses.
I don't know what to do. I love him, regardless of everything.
any advice, tips, personal experience...
tsmy143 is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 04:01 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 294
Re: No sex for 3 years

He could have performance anxiety and it causes him to get soft before sex. That's a mental block he has to get over.

He could also just be masturbating so much to porn that when it comes time to have sex with you, he can't maintain his erection. In my opinion, he's too young to have any physical health problems with having an erection.
Adex is offline  
post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 09:56 PM
mineforever's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,794
Re: No sex for 3 years

He could have erectile dysfunction - it can be caused by stress, poor diet, phycological, age, and by medications (anti-depressants...blood pressure pills for example)...there are other causes this is just some. There is also porn induced ED, butvhe would have to be a heavy porn user for that. I would go to the doctor and talk to him about it. There are meds, aphrodisiacs and techniques to help deal with the issue. I have a thread on this out there.
Posted via Mobile Device
mineforever is offline  
post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 10:05 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 192
Re: No sex for 3 years

Why would you ask him to get fertility testing?

If he can't keep it up long enough to have intercourse, his sperm count is the least of your worries.
northland is offline  
post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 10:28 PM
CuddleBug's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,750
Re: No sex for 3 years

So you're both young and in the prime of your lives, no kids and only married 5 years. And he already has ED issues?

I'm thinking too much porn and relieving himself because ED at his age in your situation is impossible.

Was he always like this when you first started dating?

Are you some hot model and he is an average guy and feels uneasy when it comes to sex with you?

Get him to see the Dr and get his test levels checked. He may require test shots but in his early 30's? Odd........

Is he seeing someone else?
CuddleBug is offline  
post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-07-2013, 07:34 AM
Plan 9 from OS's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,522
Re: No sex for 3 years

Is he overweight? Does he ride bikes a lot? Two issues from the top of my head that could cause issues with erection quality. When you two do fool around and he gets aroused, does it take you a long time to get him hard or does that happen pretty easily? When he gets an erection, is it a full one or is it semi-erect? Also, did you ever see how long he's been able to maintain his erection during foreplay, i.e. does the length of time he maintains an erection coincide with the length of time you two have foreplay?

It's probably a mental issue if he 1) gets hard quickly, 2) has a full erection, doesn't go soft until it's time for sex.
Plan 9 from OS is offline  
post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-08-2013, 08:25 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 23
Re: No sex for 3 years

Is he afraid of pregnancy? Did you discuss having kids? What are your views on that subject?
whynotrightnow12 is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Married for 7 sex or intimacy in the last 4 years. Should I leave? bplegend Sex in Marriage 51 12-29-2013 09:32 AM
After almost 12 years of marriage and 3 years of fence sitting... gopherstatedad Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 07-15-2012 12:31 PM
Been married 12 years. Affair of the heart for 2 years. indymovie Considering Divorce or Separation 19 02-16-2012 08:47 PM
My 69 years old husband cheat on me with a 17 years old Latriste General Relationship Discussion 4 04-18-2011 11:46 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome