No sex for 3 years - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 04:44 PM Thread Starter
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No sex for 3 years

My husband is in his early 30s, I am in my late 20s. We've been married for 5 years. No Kids(you'll find out why). About 3 years ago we stopped having sex. We would make out, kiss, foreplay, cuddling and other fun stuff, but no SEX. During foreplay, I would be ready to have sex but by then his erection would be gone. He would get an erection for a few mins and then when it came time for intercourse, he would get soft and lose the erection. Leaving me unsatisfied.
A few questions.
1) what is wrong with him? he is not that old to not have sex.
2) I've notice myself being cranky, I read online if a women goes without sex for a while, she'll be agitated and cranky.
3) I've also noticed him being more irritable.
I've told him to get fertility testing done. He refuses.
I don't know what to do. I love him, regardless of everything.
any advice, tips, personal experience...
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 05:01 PM
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Re: No sex for 3 years

He could have performance anxiety and it causes him to get soft before sex. That's a mental block he has to get over.

He could also just be masturbating so much to porn that when it comes time to have sex with you, he can't maintain his erection. In my opinion, he's too young to have any physical health problems with having an erection.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 10:56 PM
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Re: No sex for 3 years

He could have erectile dysfunction - it can be caused by stress, poor diet, phycological, age, and by medications (anti-depressants...blood pressure pills for example)...there are other causes this is just some. There is also porn induced ED, butvhe would have to be a heavy porn user for that. I would go to the doctor and talk to him about it. There are meds, aphrodisiacs and techniques to help deal with the issue. I have a thread on this out there.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 11:05 PM
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Re: No sex for 3 years

Why would you ask him to get fertility testing?

If he can't keep it up long enough to have intercourse, his sperm count is the least of your worries.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-06-2013, 11:28 PM
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Re: No sex for 3 years

So you're both young and in the prime of your lives, no kids and only married 5 years. And he already has ED issues?

I'm thinking too much porn and relieving himself because ED at his age in your situation is impossible.

Was he always like this when you first started dating?

Are you some hot model and he is an average guy and feels uneasy when it comes to sex with you?

Get him to see the Dr and get his test levels checked. He may require test shots but in his early 30's? Odd........

Is he seeing someone else?
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-07-2013, 08:34 AM
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Re: No sex for 3 years

Is he overweight? Does he ride bikes a lot? Two issues from the top of my head that could cause issues with erection quality. When you two do fool around and he gets aroused, does it take you a long time to get him hard or does that happen pretty easily? When he gets an erection, is it a full one or is it semi-erect? Also, did you ever see how long he's been able to maintain his erection during foreplay, i.e. does the length of time he maintains an erection coincide with the length of time you two have foreplay?

It's probably a mental issue if he 1) gets hard quickly, 2) has a full erection, doesn't go soft until it's time for sex.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-08-2013, 09:25 AM
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Re: No sex for 3 years

Is he afraid of pregnancy? Did you discuss having kids? What are your views on that subject?
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