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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-15-2013, 11:01 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

She doesn't need instruction, she needs desire.
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Old 04-15-2013, 11:03 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

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Originally Posted by MaritimeGuy View Post
I don't think its the mechanics as much as the attitude that make the difference. If a woman does it in a way that makes you think she's getting turned on by it that is far more exciting than a woman who is obviously just going through the motions. I'm not really sure you can teach that.
Attitude is totally 99.9% of the equation. A woman could physically be performing the act to her apex, but without a sense of love and enthusiasm on her part, to me that act is largely just an unemotional one and speaks only to being nothingmore than an uncaring biological act on her part.

Placing her heart into it's performance means so very much more to me as the recipient, just as my putting my heart into doing the act should mean to her!
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Old 04-15-2013, 11:20 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

Have her search "how to give good head" on google and read the results, that'll give her a good start.
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Old 04-15-2013, 12:27 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

Tell her to suck it like its got the antidote in it! I mean suck it like she is a vacuum

I get so turned on by my H reaction to what I am doing it just makes it that much better for him to watch me enjoying all of him! And he says its better when I swallow at the end. I don't mind that at all, although I know it's not incredibly popular to do so.

Man, do I love giving him BJ's...
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Old 04-15-2013, 01:32 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

I think you're the perfect person to teach her. If I was your wife and didn't actually want to give you head, I wouldn't be trying to initiate it every two weeks. So don't worry about that.

What helped me was reading a bit and being told by my ex where the most sensitive places were. Wait until she next initiates it, and make little noises when she's doing it well, then she'll remember what she was doing when you said 'mmm...you're amazing'!

Oh, and don't laugh, criticise or embarass her, because it'll kill her confidence to do it at all. Best of luck!
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Old 04-15-2013, 02:53 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

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Here is the dilemma...how can a heterosexual man teach his wife how to give good fellatio? I mean, she has asked me "what do you want me to do?" and I honestly don't know what to tell her. Women before her just did it well after just practicing/experimenting, without me having to coach them. I told her well you just need to practice and she pretty much scoffed at the idea. We then tried to watch porn, but her gag reflex is rather sensitive, leaving most of the work being done with her hands rather than the mouth (which is what has the best feeling). Running out of ideas, as being a hetero man I don't know how to instruct her...sigh...ideas please???
Giving her some feedback when she does it, let her FEEL how much you are lovin' it - I know, pretty obvious! This should (hopefully) boost her enthusiasm to please you.....her "spirit" in wanting to please you is EVERYTHING though...how to get a woman to want to.... hmmm, find what trips her triggers....flirt, tease, tempt her to go there, make it FUN....read books together... watch some Instructional porn (if she is game)...

I didn't start giving my husband a proper BJ until we were married 19 yrs... Many regrets there .... then I went Hog wild... I bought so many books (just reading them turned me on), rented Porn ....I soaked it all in....tried new techniques...I was really into - I think I was enjoying it as much as he was......

Example Instructional DVD's here >> Loving Sex Instructional DVDs for Couples

A lot of books on Amazon on "Going down"...

1. Tickle His Pickle:

2. Oral Sex He'll Never Forget: 52 Positions and Techniques Guaranteed to Blow Your Man Away:

3. Going Down: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Him the Best Blow Job of His Life:

One of my favorites >>

4. Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man:
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:12 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

Books 1, 2 and 4 are great!!!!
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:26 PM   #23 (permalink)
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My god dude, this isn't complicated.

1. You know what you like right? When she uses her hand only, when she gets it slobbery...whatever. What you like, emphasize that and do it in a way that is 100% a compliment. After a good one, tell her "MY GAWD...when you did xyz...that put me through the ROOF!!" Then jump on her and give her a mind blowing O immediately after, orally I mean. It's like pavlov...she'll start mentally assigning bj for you = orgasm for her. Make her WANT TO!! The reality is my wife could do ONE technique every time, as long as I know she WANTS to, that would be the best BJ in the world. It's not about doing 25 techniques, it's about enthusiasm.

2. If you don't want to "bug" her then make it a game. My wife whipped out the cribbage board the other night. "We're playing strip cribbage" who ever loses the hand (less points) takes something off. Any time someone scores 12 or more points, the other person has to perform something on them of their choice. No saying "NO" outside of painful.....Let's just say it was the best game of Cribbage I've ever played.

Get creative and make it fun.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:04 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

My husband is the only man I have ever given a BJ. I am the only one who has ever given him any. How did I learn? Him. He told me what he likes, what feels best, what doesn't work as well. Like your wife, RFYW, my gag reflex sucks, too. The one thing that has lessened the sensation is numbing mints. I still have to use my hand as well as my mouth because I CANNOT take it that far in, even with the mints. I still end up gagging. Find a way to work around with that. There has GOT to be a way for it to feel better, even with her hands. But really, YOU are the best person to teach her because YOU are the one who knows how it feels on YOU. It's really that simple.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:07 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad&Hubby View Post
My god dude, this isn't complicated.

1. You know what you like right? When she uses her hand only, when she gets it slobbery...whatever. What you like, emphasize that and do it in a way that is 100% a compliment. After a good one, tell her "MY GAWD...when you did xyz...that put me through the ROOF!!" Then jump on her and give her a mind blowing O immediately after, orally I mean. It's like pavlov...she'll start mentally assigning bj for you = orgasm for her. Make her WANT TO!! The reality is my wife could do ONE technique every time, as long as I know she WANTS to, that would be the best BJ in the world. It's not about doing 25 techniques, it's about enthusiasm.

2. If you don't want to "bug" her then make it a game. My wife whipped out the cribbage board the other night. "We're playing strip cribbage" who ever loses the hand (less points) takes something off. Any time someone scores 12 or more points, the other person has to perform something on them of their choice. No saying "NO" outside of painful.....Let's just say it was the best game of Cribbage I've ever played.

Get creative and make it fun.
Search redbook and cosmopolitan for how to give a bj.

Really it is all about wanting to turn you on. She will see what you like by watching your face.

You could help her out a lot by taking a shower first if she seems reluctant.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:22 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

My wife really wasn't into it for years. I had to really talk to her to let her know that I felt like something was wrong with me because she didn't seem to enjoy all of me like I enjoy all of her. I told her it made me feel ugly. Which, it did. Told her my d!ck is the only part of me that joins with her and that made that part very special to me and that she didn't seem to think it special. For some reason something "clicked" for her. She started really trying to give better BJ's and they HAVE gotten better and better. Now she LOVES them because she sees what a really good BJ does to me.
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Old 04-16-2013, 02:40 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

No, absolutely not, as a hetero man you can't show her. Your only hope is to find a gay guy who can show her what to do by demonstrating on you. Just be aware, it might take 20 or 25 demonstrations. Maybe more.

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Old 04-16-2013, 03:32 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

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No, absolutely not, as a hetero man you can't show her. Your only hope is to find a gay guy who can show her what to do by demonstrating on you. Just be aware, it might take 20 or 25 demonstrations. Maybe more.

I went rofl , got up, and rofl again, upon reading the above quote a good one Mr. Arthur!
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Old 04-16-2013, 03:34 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

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She doesn't need instruction, she needs desire.
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this is _the truth_, the _most_ important requirement...all other advices in this thread are totally useless like a new necktie for a beheaded person, unless this one important requirement are being fulfilled..
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Old 04-16-2013, 09:33 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can a Hetero MAN Teach His Wife How To Give Fellatio?

That's it...she has very little desire. The times she actually WANTS to do it I bust a good one...LOL...
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