Masturbatory habits an indicator?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Like Tree16Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-24-2013, 11:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 60
Default Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Does knowing a persons 'masturbation routine' inbetween or prior to a marriage or relationship, indicate if they will be a future hd or ld partner?
And is it a question that should be asked?

Remember my first husband mentioning that he masturbated approx once a month before were together.
I was young and didn't think anything of it. Sure enough our marriage settled into a virtual 3 weekly or once a month of sex.

Fast forward many years to second husband. He said he masturbated a lot pre relationship and yep he wants a lot of sex now we're married.

So just wondering if its as clear cut as all that.
If you need to masturbate quite a lot, you're HD and likely all will be good with your HD partner?

And should alarm bells be ringing if you're considering marrying someone who you know doesn't have that same need.
I know there is more to it than that. But is that knowledge, a way of sorting the hd from the ld, so to speak?
Posted via Mobile Device
notsocool is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-24-2013, 11:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: up the creek
Posts: 340
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

It has held true for my wife and I
I got this is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 11:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,253
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

My STBX didn't masturbate and said he didn't. Said he didn't like it, it was boring, he'd rather have the real thing. Scoff at that if you will, but in 5 years, never caught him or anything of the sort and we had sex almost daily.

I rarely masturbate and my drive is sky high.
__________________

Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 12:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
SouthernMiss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 187
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

My first husband masturbated a lot. He had a low sex drive when it came to actual women.

My current husband never masturbates...he's tried it, but he's got hang ups about it due to his upbringing...he has a high sex drive when it comes to actual sex.

I personally masturbate about 5 days a week. And I have a very high sex drive...7 to 10 times a week is just "satisfactory" to me.

I haven't noticed a correlation in my own personal experience.
SouthernMiss is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 09:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Anon Pink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,159
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Agree with Southern Miss. Masturbation has far too many hang ups associated with it to get a clear correlation between frequency and drive. Not to mention the fact that sex drive, in general, isn't affected by the emotional connection within a relationship.

A spouse may not wish to have sex due to problems in the relationship, but still be in need of orgasmic release. A spouse may be very open to sex, but not be in need of orgasmic release.
Anon Pink is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 07:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 60
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Thanks for replies.
Interesting tho, I never really thought you could be HD and be ok not masturbating.
Tells me I can't generalise about sex and relationships. Too many variables.
Posted via Mobile Device
notsocool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 08:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
IndiaInk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 279
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Quote:
Originally Posted by notsocool View Post
Does knowing a persons 'masturbation routine' inbetween or prior to a marriage or relationship, indicate if they will be a future hd or ld partner?
And is it a question that should be asked?

Remember my first husband mentioning that he masturbated approx once a month before were together.
I was young and didn't think anything of it. Sure enough our marriage settled into a virtual 3 weekly or once a month of sex.

Fast forward many years to second husband. He said he masturbated a lot pre relationship and yep he wants a lot of sex now we're married.

So just wondering if its as clear cut as all that.
If you need to masturbate quite a lot, you're HD and likely all will be good with your HD partner?

And should alarm bells be ringing if you're considering marrying someone who you know doesn't have that same need.
I know there is more to it than that. But is that knowledge, a way of sorting the hd from the ld, so to speak?
Posted via Mobile Device
I think I'd say that yes...a lack of interest in masturbation would be a fairly safe and reliable indicator of LD (in a guy with no other sexual outlet)


But high masturbation frequency is trickier as an indicator... especially as an indication that "all will be good" in a marriage/relationship.

There are plenty of threads here that can attest to the existence of husbands who lack interest in sex with a partner because their desire's become strongly geared to a masturbation/porn habit...

So what you'd really want to know is what effect having a ready and willing partner does to a guy's porn/masturbation frequency level. I think if it didn't diminish AT ALL that would be room for 'addictive behavior' concerns

And really, the most critical aspect to pay attention to is how comfortable a guy is with INTIMATE sex with you (sexual and emotional components). Does he feel 'present' with you?

It's also interesting, that'd I'd say a high masturbation frequency would be a MUCH LESS reliable indicator of ANYTHING in a woman...

Even as female myself, I still find that an odd truth
IndiaInk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 08:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 158
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

every male masterbats a lot when they are young. your relationship with each has more to do with communication with each other,and how many spoilers the mates have been with.
olwhatsisname is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 08:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 296
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Yes if you masturbate a lot you generally have a high sex drive.
Adex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 08:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,997
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

"every male masterbats a lot when they are young. your relationship with each has more to do with communication with each other,and how many spoilers the mates have been with."



Total generalizations like this (saying "every" male) are bad for education, because it isn't true.

Yes the percentage of both males AND females who masturbate when they are young is very high. But to say "every" causes a problem for those who really never did, and the people who end up with those who really never did. When you end up married to a man who has low or no sex drive, and then you recall that he said he never did it when he was young, but you disregarded this because you thought "every" young male did it....it is just so sad and confusing for women who end up in that position, and there are many women like that.

There is no reason to try to push "every" male or female into one box. The world is more colorful with lots of variation. I knew one male personally who never "figured it out" when he was young and literally never had an O until his first sex with a woman at age 19. From then forward, he was a bad boy extraordinaire and f*cked everything that moved. I'm not saying this was a good thing at all, (nor am I saying there was any cause and effect, the guy just was who he was)....what I'm pointing out is that here was a very sexual man who had not masturbated at all when he was young.

Variations make our species cuter!
Faithful Wife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 08:44 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Maricha75's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,275
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adex View Post
Yes if you masturbate a lot you generally have a high sex drive.
Please.
You can also have a high drive and choose NOT to indulge. Some people are capable of exhibiting self control. A rarity, it seems, these days, but it does exist.
__________________
You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
Maricha75 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 09:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,514
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Or your sex drive can have a lot to do with the person you are with and not yourself.
gbrad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 09:26 PM   #13 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 296
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
Please.
You can also have a high drive and choose NOT to indulge. Some people are capable of exhibiting self control. A rarity, it seems, these days, but it does exist.
Ok but I didn't deny that. I simply said if you masturbate a lot, you generally have a high sex drive.
Adex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 10:54 PM   #14 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 12
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

From my personal experience, the person who MB regularly has a higher drive than someone who doesn't.

Coming from a failed, sexless marriage, my W (separating) never MB. She had some sort of personal hangup with MB. I on the other hand MB almost daily. The only times I didn't was when I had a pretty good feeling my wife and I were going to have sex. My drive is pretty high and I could easily have sex 2 times a day, 5-6 days a week.
lonelyat32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 11:21 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
AnnieAsh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Trying to mail my twins to Mab and Lanie...
Posts: 9,226
Default Re: Masturbatory habits an indicator?

My experience has been men who frequently, vigorously, and regularly masturbate are AWFUL lovers. They do not and cannot match my drive. This has been my experience with my husband and a few others. They suck at pleasuring a woman or even making a connection.

Sadly, they THINK they are raging love machines but when it comes down to it...they cannot perform with another person. It is a harsh realization.

The man that was my first masturbated about twice a week (also a virgin.) His drive complemented mine the most. So, if I ever found myself single again I will avoid a man who never does it or does it more than a few times a week.

But this has been my experience. Not true for all, I suppose.
__________________
Annie+LanieB=♥interracialfoodlove
"Come back safe, Bob. Don't leave me with these friggin kids."
I just wanna hug yo' mama in a Subaru hatchback!
AnnieAsh is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do I improve myself and let go of bad habits GTA06 Relationships and Addiction 8 06-29-2012 06:07 AM
Old habits die hard... RandomDude The Men's Clubhouse 9 11-26-2011 01:46 AM
Wife and I had fun with Myers Briggs Type indicator NoIssues General Relationship Discussion 20 10-25-2011 11:09 AM
what are your annoying habits? preso General Relationship Discussion 17 08-31-2009 01:26 PM
Falling back into bad habits Dancing Nancie General Relationship Discussion 7 01-12-2009 09:07 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:41 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage