My wife was a prostitute.
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » My wife was a prostitute.

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 08-15-2009, 11:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy My wife was a prostitute.

Please help. My wife was a prostitute from the age of 17 teen to about 20. I met her when she started working at a company where I was the manager. She turned 21 a few months after we started dating. I however didn't find out about her past until about a year and a half later. By this time I was deeply in love with her. When I found out about her past, I was not upset. In fact I found it extremly exciting. The thought of all those other men paying for what I was getting for free mad me feel....well let's just say my ego got a real boost!
Now that the background is out of the way let's get to the problem. She has turned 37 this year and for the last couple of years she has lost intrest in sex. Now I am wondering if she is all sex out becouse she had sooo much sex when she was younger or maybe she has lost intrest in sex with me,or may she is getting it better from somewhere else. I don't know what to think. Please help.
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Old 08-15-2009, 11:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

No, she is not all "sexed-out" because of so much sex in her life YEARS ago.

I think it is wonderful that you have loved a woman who fell into prostitution and have been married to her for a long time. I find it rather sweet and you must be quite a husband, you speak so loving of her.

Now, as far as the sex. She is 37. Perimenopause begins around age 35 for many women. Menopause lasts a long time and is gradual. I would suggest you learn more about it, as it is complex and husbands need to understand so they don't feel like they are not loved or something is "wrong" with their wife.

If it is perimenopause, you will need to be very supportive and your sex life may change, but it does not need to halt by any means.

Do you have children? Stressors for her? Other issues going on?
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Old 08-16-2009, 12:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

Yes, we have three boys and you are right I do love her very much. But it is difficult to want sex and know that you can't have it. Just the other nite I asked her for sex and she told me that she would bend over and let me "do my business". This is how she told me that she dealt with her clients and I lost all intrest. I felt like she was treating me like some "John" off the street.
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:10 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

have you tried just being more affectionate with her? and not in a way where she thinks your trying to get some. hold her hand, give her massages, hug her, cuddle with her, etc. i love when my husband does that and it makes me appreciate him so much. when he doesn't do any of those things i feel like he is being distant and when he all of a sudden wants to get intimate i make an excuse not to because i feel that's the only time he wants to be close to me. my husband asks for sex too and i think it's silly. i don't want my husband to have to ask for it, i want him to "persuade" me into wanting it.
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Old 08-16-2009, 08:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

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have you tried just being more affectionate with her? and not in a way where she thinks your trying to get some. hold her hand, give her massages, hug her, cuddle with her, etc. i love when my husband does that and it makes me appreciate him so much. when he doesn't do any of those things i feel like he is being distant and when he all of a sudden wants to get intimate i make an excuse not to because i feel that's the only time he wants to be close to me. my husband asks for sex too and i think it's silly. i don't want my husband to have to ask for it, i want him to "persuade" me into wanting it.

Funny. I have an idea...how about you just want it and persuade him into having it? Why do the men have to be the persuaders? If you dont want him to have to ask for it..then just give it before he asks. Rocket science. For real.




John
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Old 08-16-2009, 09:45 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

john, that seems to be the overwhelming mentality of women. "make me want something that i enjoy", "work for it and you might just get it", they fully understand the power they have and i fully believe that they use it whether they mean to or not.

unfortunately, that is nature.
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Old 08-16-2009, 10:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

If it were "nature" we would just take what we want when we want it, just like in nature. Unfortunately this is nurture. This is what women teach their daughters either directly, or indirectly by the way they treat their husbands. Its all bull****.




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Old 08-16-2009, 10:17 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

The issue is: women don't want to be treated like a receptacle for a bodily function needing to be fulfilled.

If you have the urge for getting your bodily function off just take care of it with five fingered Frank for heaven sakes.

If you have the urge for a more difficult connection of the sensitive, mind to mind, love and caring contact TYPE, act like it and you will get laid.

Women have the URGE which mimics men, when they ovulate. Figure out when your wife's ovulation cycle is and work around that if you just want raw sex and she will be willing. Any other time it is going to take some wooing BECAUSE either she isn'tfeeling very loving toward you (frustrated with you or resentful) or she is just plain TIRED.

It ISN'T rocket science, but it is the way it is.

Some men out there think we women LIKE the moods from outerspace...NOT. It isn't EASY dealing with hormones up and down and sideways....and you add SOME men on top of all that who can't think with anything but their little brain and anger, well, it just me off that some people just can't figure it out! Men sometimes just don't want to go to the trouble and women can see that a MILE away!

LOOK AT THE CALENDAR!!!!!!!
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Old 08-16-2009, 10:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

Sandy I think sometimes their dumbstick prevails over their brains. And hubby agrees when we tease each other. ***** PEACE ******
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:11 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

sandy, if you like sex why do you let all those things get in the way? do hormones affect your ability to control your desires?

why did it once not matter what time of the month it was, sex was desired and sought after (was it just to secure a husband)?

and for the umpteenth time, why must the man work so hard for something that he may or may not get and that benefits both parties so immensely? i swear it appears that what i have always suspected is true, the female parts are used by their owners as bargaining goods. unfortunately it gets to the point where the juice isnt worth the squeeze and the woman has overused her power, and things go downhill from there.

if women would do more thinking with their naughtie bits, and less thinking with their overused and incredibly complicated top knot, they could get whatever they wanted from their husbands. i know a few women like this and their husbands are complete mush around them.

Last edited by okeydokie; 08-16-2009 at 11:35 AM.
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

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Originally Posted by 1standingout View Post
Yes, we have three boys and you are right I do love her very much. But it is difficult to want sex and know that you can't have it. Just the other nite I asked her for sex and she told me that she would bend over and let me "do my business". This is how she told me that she dealt with her clients and I lost all intrest. I felt like she was treating me like some "John" off the street.
I'm sorry that you felt that way when she offered it. With her background that makes the statement totally different than when other wives say that to their husbands (I'm pretty sure it's happened to most). If she's not interested in sex it may have absolutely nothing to do with you. Maybe she's dealing with her past and it's affecting that part of your relationship (as it should seeing as sex used to be a job and a painful one a that). A lot of people bury what they're feeling for a long long time. Eventually they'll deal with it and maybe she is now. It could be really hard for her to talk about it too. Space may be the biggest thing she needs, but I don't think it would be unfair for you to ask if that's what she needs or if it's something else.
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:42 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandy55 View Post
The issue is: women don't want to be treated like a receptacle for a bodily function needing to be fulfilled.

If you have the urge for getting your bodily function off just take care of it with five fingered Frank for heaven sakes.

If you have the urge for a more difficult connection of the sensitive, mind to mind, love and caring contact TYPE, act like it and you will get laid.

Women have the URGE which mimics men, when they ovulate. Figure out when your wife's ovulation cycle is and work around that if you just want raw sex and she will be willing. Any other time it is going to take some wooing BECAUSE either she isn'tfeeling very loving toward you (frustrated with you or resentful) or she is just plain TIRED.

It ISN'T rocket science, but it is the way it is.

Some men out there think we women LIKE the moods from outerspace...NOT. It isn't EASY dealing with hormones up and down and sideways....and you add SOME men on top of all that who can't think with anything but their little brain and anger, well, it just me off that some people just can't figure it out! Men sometimes just don't want to go to the trouble and women can see that a MILE away!

LOOK AT THE CALENDAR!!!!!!!
um, whoa. sex isn't supposed to be a bargaining chip and it isn't supposed to be something that has to be worked for. yep, it dies down after a while with the same person but that's why there's all kinds of crazy sex stuff that can be brought in. If you don't want sex, you don't want it. If you do, you do. Asking for sex.. I hate when my H does that. he never did it before so why now?

Also guys, it's not that we need persuaded. Think back on your relationships in the beginning. I know in mine, it was so heated it took hardly a look from me and he came running. Now, it takes a bit more. I don't need to be persuaded but one of the things that made the sex early on so amazing was feeling that desired by him. Feeling desired is huge and when we're asked for it, it doesn't so much feel like we're being desired as it is that we're the only toy you're allowed to play with anymore.
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Old 08-16-2009, 08:19 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandy55 View Post
The issue is: women don't want to be treated like a receptacle for a bodily function needing to be fulfilled.
You never heard of Bad Boys?
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Old 08-16-2009, 08:54 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

Have you tried offering her a C note?

Ok, seriously, whatever is making her go off sex is not from years ago.

Something is happening currently. It can be physical, emotional, mental, or just tired.

Or maybe she is bugged with you?

Lots of reasons.
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Old 08-16-2009, 09:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife was a prostitute.

I think my wifes past is deffinetly effecting our relationship. If you read my firt post you will find that I did not care about her past. I have loved her for a long time now and I have given her all of me. I have tryed to be the kind of husband that I thought women wanted. Maybe that was my mistake for thinking that I knew what a woman wanted. After all, I am just a man. I'm not GOD, and only he knowes what women want. All I know is that at this point I have lost faith in my marriage and that can't be a good thing. Sex is just a beginning (or rather the lack of sex)what's next.....communication....infidelity? It all seems so hopless

Last edited by 1standingout; 08-16-2009 at 09:32 PM.
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