My Wife and I been Married 10 yrs, Two great kids, 8 & 3, great home life, etc.. We both enjoy our lives we have built. She is a stay at home Mum.
She has never been really into sex that much, although I did get her to experiment a bit before we were married, nothing too crazy.
However, I am now 37, and feel like our marriage needs more. She only does Missonary, and I never see her naked, and rarely get to touch her, anywhere. Its so frustrating, and my self esteem has gone way south. She is drop dead gorgeous, 110lbs.
She is really busy with the kids, understandable, but she is a stay at home mom in a nice town, nice house. I help out with everything, but I stand my ground now more than I used to, hoping it would drive her to me.
After we had sex last week, I was bummed that it was so boring again for the same as its been for more than 5 yrs, no oral or anything. She doesn't want oral, or want to give it to me. Its all about what she prefers, not even kissing or anything. I havent kissed my wife for more than 5 seconds in longer than I can remember.
So, I brought it up calmly, and she basically said I was putting her down, and she was sorry that she wasn't good enough for me, in a rude voice. and I should be happy with the good things in my life, and that I was being a negative person. I told her no, that I am a good person, and deserve affection. She said its not me, that its what she prefers. I asked her what about what I prefer?, I told her she has a selfish heart, and that open communication is the most important thing, etc. I told her that I think she has intimacy issues, and may need to see someone.
I don't get it, I have taken the Alpha stance the past year, in alot of ways. I started going to the gym, I look great, and other women notice. I give her cards, flowers, but she never shows affection, ever. Never grabs me for a hug, or grabs my hand.
I asked her why she thought that I would just accept this forever? The worst part is that she wont talk about it, or blames me for focusing on the negative. She is wondering why I have all of these expectations of her? She says only yourself can make you happy. Can someone offer me some guidance, or lift my head from the sand? Thanks!