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Sex after Penectomy

57K views 55 replies 30 participants last post by  jfarber 
#1 · (Edited)
Hi. I wanted to discuss something here because I could not elsewhere. I married my wife a few years ago. We were religious, so we did not have sex before marriage. Our honeymoon was good, sex-wise. We both discovered that we were high-desire people, so we liked having sex a lot (roughly 3-4 times a week). Recently, we hoped to have a baby. However, I was diagnosed with penile cancer, and the doctor said he had to surgically remove my penis to get rid of it (i.e. a penectomy). The doctor performed the operation about one month ago. My wife and I were devastated, but we have finally accepted it. We do not believe in divorce for religious reasons. Does anyone have tips on how to maintain a sex life without a penis? I really want someone to respond, since we are both 28 and too young to give up on sex.
Edit: I guess I should discuss my situation more.I thought after my penectomy my libido would collapse, but that did not happen. In fact, with my testicles kept intact and my testosterone levels the same but with no penis, I cannot masturbate or have sex to alleviate my sexual urges. I get aroused, but I can't get any release through ejaculation. I can satisfy my wife, but not myself. Does anyone have any advice?
 
#44 ·
I have experience of this through my job (I work in a care facility). In my experience, even with radical penectomys, ejaculation is still possible (surgeons in most all cases I have dealt with, can leave the nerves intact). I would make contact with your local hospital who should be able to offer support and instruction on this.

As for satisfying your wife the're are some things you can do, just talk to her and find out what she likes. Be prepared though (this is reality I'm afraid) that her opinion of you WILL change. Even if she says it hasn't. Imaging if your wife suddenly had to have her vagina removed, of course it would affect you. It's how you handle this issue thats important.
 
#46 ·
About 1500 men lose all or part of their penis each year due to penile cancer. Some others lose it to accidents and gunshot wounds. In my work I have seen grown men in tears when they realize they no longer have such a huge part of their sexual identity.
 
#50 · (Edited)
Wow, I don't know what to say.

All I can think of, is go to a sex store, or online, and have your wife pick out a strap on penis she would love and that rings her bell. Wear this when having sex with her.

You can give her oral with a vib at the same time, ring her bells.

Again, penis strap on and give her anal sex.

This is all I can think of. Have her pick out a penis she'd love and fantasize about, buy and wear it for her.

Or you can get a penis implant and inflate it with a pump. Not funny, I've seen those as well.


Why not buy a silver bullet and stimulate your prostate?

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_n...search-alias=aps&field-keywords=silver bullet
 
#51 ·
Although my husband still has his penis, he absolutely loves his prostate massaged. I use a vibrator called a flex o pleaser. It is a 14" long thin shaft with a vibrating orb on the tip. When the tip hits his prostate, his body quivers and his eyes roll to the back of his head. He says it is fantastic.
If you still have your prostate, and you have not tried having it massaged perhaps you could try it.
If you can satisfy your wife without your penis, you are halfway there and prostate massage could help you overcome one of the cruelest things that a man has to endure.
We wish you the best.:smthumbup:
 
#53 · (Edited)
@edbopc
Yes with your prostate gone, a vibrator may not be of much use as far as massaging that area. There is a bundle of nerves that surround the prostate that often can be spared and left inside a man rather than being cut out with the prostate gland. These nerves are vital if erections are ever to return.
 
#55 ·
I had a penectomy, 2/3 of my penis was cut off/removed. No visible penis, but I still have 1/3 of it along with my prostate and penis bulb. I can and am able to achieve a "stub/nub" erection, almost an inch. My wife likes it and can use it for satisfaction and I can orgasm, but it takes a lot longer. Actually this is beneficial for my wife since it takes her awhile to orgasm too. i also do not urinate from the stub/nub, which helps because if she stimulates me orally nothing shoots out. She did not like oral before my penectomy, now it does not bother her. A stub/nub penis takes a little getting used too, but it works fine for me.
 
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