why wont my husband let me touch him - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-25-2009, 02:25 AM Thread Starter
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why wont my husband let me touch him

I've been with my husband for abt 3 years n married for almost 1 year. our relationship has been disaster ever since we got married! when we were dating everything was fine we would go out everyday eating out, watching movie, trying everything new! ever since we got married he has changed so much that it seems like he has no interest in me at all. when we newly got married he just wouldn't sleep naked in bed with me, which was kinda odd because every time we went in hotel he was naked sleeping next to me. he wont let me touch him AT ALL or hug him or cuddle him in bed. every time i hear him talking to his customers specially female customer he sound so sexy n have such great conversations with others. when he talks to me now, he's just in bad mood or making fun of me at all the times. i really really feel that and i have try talking to him he'll just laugh it off and make fun of me again, he just doesnt see it, he hurting me really bad n i just dont know what else i can do. i need someone to cuddle me up n sleep next to me naked n everything so why wont he let me touch him? n we're only 23 years of age.. could he b cheating on me behind my back? or what else?
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-25-2009, 02:32 AM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

that's really strange that he wont let you touch him. does he get angry if you try? what happens if you try?

i went through something kind of similar. my H stopped wanting to have sex with me shortly after we starting living together. but he always wanted to cuddle. my h was addicted to porn.

the thing i learned from my experience, though, was to back off in these kinds of situations. it can get really ugly if you keep pushing the issue. that is what happened to me. i got so caught up and fixated on fixing my husband that i didnt notice that i was getting out of control. i was hurting, getting angry, and bitter all the while thinking it was my H that needed to change.

so, just be careful as you focus so much of your energy on whats wrong with him. you dont want to lose yourself in the process.

"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-25-2009, 02:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

he gets really angry n in aggressive way he'll move my arm. i try few times just saying i want to hug you. he just doesnt care. right when he comes back from wrk, he'll eat no conversation between us, he'll watch his fav t.v shows no conversation between us, when he comes to bed he'll play his soccer game on iphone n when he gets tired he goes str8 to sleep DEEP sleep! i have had try checking up his phone n few ppl he had add on his contact list were actually girls numbers under guys name. should i talk to him about that because there are lot of things i'm calm n quit about.. n i'm type person JUST WONT KNOW HOW TO TALK or where to start..
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-25-2009, 03:32 AM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

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i have had try checking up his phone n few ppl he had add on his contact list were actually girls numbers under guys name. should i talk to him about that because there are lot of things i'm calm n quit about.. n i'm type person JUST WONT KNOW HOW TO TALK or where to start..
you could, lord knows i would, but it might not do much good. he's just going to get really angry and tell you what an awful person you are for snooping on him.

what do you do all day? what do you do on the weekends?

"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-25-2009, 06:00 AM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

You are both so young. Men like him do not want to talk about the issues, and the more you try, the more he will place the blame for the marriage problems on you... If you keep trying to help the marriage by talking to him, pretty soon you will hear him say to you "you wont stop talking about it, things will get better if you just stop talking!" Bc in his mind, whatever he did before this, doesnt matter, you will now be the one ruining the marriage.

Do not get pregnant yet if you want some of those nights back. Ask him when he has a free night, and when you find one that is, plan a fun night! If its a work night, then say that you wont stay too late, just want to go back to a place where you had fun together for a bit. If you find that he is never available to do these outings or is not interested... you are so young... move on. You are way too young to have someone who isnt into you. You are heading into the prime years... and if you stay and it doesnt change, you will look back in your 30's and say My God, I missed out on the best years of my life.

Any aggression with a man that young, will get worse unless he gets help (but DONT suggest that to him at this point... it will infuriate him from the sounds of it... stick to positive steps for right now). Dont start saying to yourself, "but if I do this or dont do that...." that is called walking on eggshells, and it will take over your life.

Keep us posted!
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-25-2009, 09:02 AM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

This is really strange..

My advice: have a very serious talk with him... telling him that you'll pack your bags if nothing change... and keep your words.. if nothing change then leave..

It's hard to say what is wrong with him.. it could be many things..

Maybe he is cheating..
Maybe he realized the marriage was a mistake..
Maybe he heard things about you.. (that you've been cheating)..
Maybe he realized he's gay...



Whatever happens.. please do not get pregnant... some women get pregnant in hope that their husband will become closer.. well.. most of the time.. the opposite happens..
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-26-2009, 07:30 AM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

Talking is key. I would tell him, "I am really serious about this and if we cannot work it out I am really worried about it destroying our marriage. Do not laugh off my feelings, our relationship is on the edge!"
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 02:20 PM
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I have been going through a very similar situation. He pushes my hand away when I reach for his private areas. He says it's because there's no in between. That if I touch he gets turned on and if we're not doing it he he doesn't wanna get started. I don't believe it though. I expressed to him how I may turn into a lesbian if the lack of intimacy continues. So he kissed me a lot and "showed"me lots of affection. I guess you have to express to him how hurt your feelings are. But, not in a disagreement. Or start exploring other options.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 02:30 PM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

Looks like he is a regular macho type. Once he got you he pretty much owns you to take care of him. He fools around with other women and you are his maid/mother.

He is not good marriage material. Leave him before you waste more time on this loser. He won't change, he has showed you who he really is now.

If he is sweet talking girls at work and has contacts on the phones of girls under guys names; he is cheating and getting his sexual and intimacy needs from them. You are just a free maid he paid when you accepted that yes, I will marry you.

It's sad, but very common in my culture. You gotta run as fast and as far as you can from a Macho Man.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 03:15 PM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

Um @Bibi1031, thread is over 7 years old.
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 03:39 PM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

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Um @Bibi1031, thread is over 7 years old.
Oops...LOL

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 03:54 PM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

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Oops...LOL
No worries. I have been guilty of this myself, more times than I will admit to!
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 04:05 PM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

Edited:
Good grief. I need to look at dates before commenting.

For more on my marriage philosophies check out the marriage section of my website:
The Feminine Review

Standard Evidence Thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...ence-post.html
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 04:16 PM
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Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

Zombie. Closing.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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