why wont my husband let me touch him
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 09-25-2009, 02:25 AM   #1 (permalink)
cxc
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Default why wont my husband let me touch him

I've been with my husband for abt 3 years n married for almost 1 year. our relationship has been disaster ever since we got married! when we were dating everything was fine we would go out everyday eating out, watching movie, trying everything new! ever since we got married he has changed so much that it seems like he has no interest in me at all. when we newly got married he just wouldn't sleep naked in bed with me, which was kinda odd because every time we went in hotel he was naked sleeping next to me. he wont let me touch him AT ALL or hug him or cuddle him in bed. every time i hear him talking to his customers specially female customer he sound so sexy n have such great conversations with others. when he talks to me now, he's just in bad mood or making fun of me at all the times. i really really feel that and i have try talking to him he'll just laugh it off and make fun of me again, he just doesnt see it, he hurting me really bad n i just dont know what else i can do. i need someone to cuddle me up n sleep next to me naked n everything so why wont he let me touch him? n we're only 23 years of age.. could he b cheating on me behind my back? or what else?
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

that's really strange that he wont let you touch him. does he get angry if you try? what happens if you try?

i went through something kind of similar. my H stopped wanting to have sex with me shortly after we starting living together. but he always wanted to cuddle. my h was addicted to porn.

the thing i learned from my experience, though, was to back off in these kinds of situations. it can get really ugly if you keep pushing the issue. that is what happened to me. i got so caught up and fixated on fixing my husband that i didnt notice that i was getting out of control. i was hurting, getting angry, and bitter all the while thinking it was my H that needed to change.

so, just be careful as you focus so much of your energy on whats wrong with him. you dont want to lose yourself in the process.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

he gets really angry n in aggressive way he'll move my arm. i try few times just saying i want to hug you. he just doesnt care. right when he comes back from wrk, he'll eat no conversation between us, he'll watch his fav t.v shows no conversation between us, when he comes to bed he'll play his soccer game on iphone n when he gets tired he goes str8 to sleep DEEP sleep! i have had try checking up his phone n few ppl he had add on his contact list were actually girls numbers under guys name. should i talk to him about that because there are lot of things i'm calm n quit about.. n i'm type person JUST WONT KNOW HOW TO TALK or where to start..
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:32 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

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Originally Posted by cxc View Post
i have had try checking up his phone n few ppl he had add on his contact list were actually girls numbers under guys name. should i talk to him about that because there are lot of things i'm calm n quit about.. n i'm type person JUST WONT KNOW HOW TO TALK or where to start..
you could, lord knows i would, but it might not do much good. he's just going to get really angry and tell you what an awful person you are for snooping on him.

what do you do all day? what do you do on the weekends?
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Old 09-25-2009, 06:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

You are both so young. Men like him do not want to talk about the issues, and the more you try, the more he will place the blame for the marriage problems on you... If you keep trying to help the marriage by talking to him, pretty soon you will hear him say to you "you wont stop talking about it, things will get better if you just stop talking!" Bc in his mind, whatever he did before this, doesnt matter, you will now be the one ruining the marriage.

Do not get pregnant yet if you want some of those nights back. Ask him when he has a free night, and when you find one that is, plan a fun night! If its a work night, then say that you wont stay too late, just want to go back to a place where you had fun together for a bit. If you find that he is never available to do these outings or is not interested... you are so young... move on. You are way too young to have someone who isnt into you. You are heading into the prime years... and if you stay and it doesnt change, you will look back in your 30's and say My God, I missed out on the best years of my life.

Any aggression with a man that young, will get worse unless he gets help (but DONT suggest that to him at this point... it will infuriate him from the sounds of it... stick to positive steps for right now). Dont start saying to yourself, "but if I do this or dont do that...." that is called walking on eggshells, and it will take over your life.

Keep us posted!
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Old 09-25-2009, 09:02 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

This is really strange..

My advice: have a very serious talk with him... telling him that you'll pack your bags if nothing change... and keep your words.. if nothing change then leave..

It's hard to say what is wrong with him.. it could be many things..

Maybe he is cheating..
Maybe he realized the marriage was a mistake..
Maybe he heard things about you.. (that you've been cheating)..
Maybe he realized he's gay...



Whatever happens.. please do not get pregnant... some women get pregnant in hope that their husband will become closer.. well.. most of the time.. the opposite happens..
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Old 09-26-2009, 07:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: why wont my husband let me touch him

Talking is key. I would tell him, "I am really serious about this and if we cannot work it out I am really worried about it destroying our marriage. Do not laugh off my feelings, our relationship is on the edge!"
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