Sexless and unromantic married life
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Sexless and unromantic married life

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Like Tree2Likes
  • 2 Post By CreekWalker

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-17-2013, 03:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4
Default Sexless and unromantic married life

Hi All,

We have been married from 1.3 years.My husband is very unaffectionate and uncaring person.He is very unromantic.He doesn't like anything which is romantic.In 1st 3 months of our married life we had sex for 4-5 times.That too it was not much exciting.He just finished that as a duty.After that there is no sex life till today.Many times I tried to talk to him.I told him to share his feelings and problems any so that we can talk and resolve it.Or can take a treatment.He just says he doesn't have any problem.He don't talk to me freely.Whenever I open that topic he gets angry and starts shouting at me.I was always very polite with him and I am very friendly too and ready to share anything and everything.I told him we will consult marriage Councillors or sex therapists but he says he doesn't want to come n he doesn't have any problem.Not even single time he talks to me about that freely.Other then Kiss we don't do anything.

After 8 months of our marriage twice he went to abroad and now also he is in abroad.I am in India.Being away from each other also doesn't bother him.He is not caring and loving.He shows no interest to talk.Absolutely no Romantic talks.He is very much practical and thinks money is everything and interested in luxury life then Happy life.


I am frustrated..I am beautiful..have a good job too..I am very caring,affectionate and have high sex drive too. more then a year of frustrated life I have faced..I feel I am so lonely and he doesn't love me and doesn't show little affection also...

Whenever I talk that I am fed up of these things if you continue like this I will get divorce.But that also he misunderstands that and say if you need that go ahead and take.I am trying fix the things in all the way.But its of no use.He is not bothered about anything...It hurts a lot.
I have told him million times that we need to talk like a best friends and share everything so that we will not have any misunderstandings and can live happily by understanding each other's emotional and physical needs.But he never listen.

I feel I am just wasting my life for someone who is not deserved for me.I still want to save our relationship but don't know how

Please help.


Thanks,
Sinchu
Sinchana is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-17-2013, 03:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 294
Default Re: Sexless and unromantic married life

Kinda sounds like he may have been sexually abused as a child/teen. Pressuring him can only push him into reliving it (if it's the problem). Talk to a counselor alone first, give the facts, and see what they say.
Kaboom is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-17-2013, 03:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,309
Default Re: Sexless and unromantic married life

Was your marriage an arranged marriage?

It's almost impossible for you to "fix" it by yourself. And until your husband recognizes that there's a problem, he won't try to help. You threatening divorce and then backing down isn't helping; all you're doing is teaching him that you're not serious about your threats/boundaries/ultimatums.

Nobody here can tell you if he's not interested in sex, or just not interested in sex with you, unfortunately.

C
Posted via Mobile Device
PBear is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-18-2013, 01:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4
Default Re: Sexless and unromantic married life

Thanks Kaboom and PBear for reply.
Yes.It was arranged marriage and we met through matrimony site.
Agree with Kaboom.Let me try to meet counselor.
Sinchana is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-19-2013, 07:27 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 80
Default Re: Sexless and unromantic married life

.....The only thing you can control is your own actions. You can't make him see a counselor, or care that you are unhappy.

The only thing you can do is tell him what you need from the marriage, and ask if he is willing to do the work to make things better.

At that point, whatever his response is, it is your choice what to do with your life.

YOU CAN NOT force him to want change, by threats or anything else. All you can do is lay out your requirements for staying in the marriage. At that point, the ball is in his court, when he says if he is willing/not willing, then the ball is back in your court.
CreekWalker is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-19-2013, 02:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
CuddleBug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,912
Default Re: Sexless and unromantic married life

Definitely marriage counseling and therapy if needed. It sounds like he has some serious issues that need to come to light. Either he talks to you or go to a counselor.

If he won[t change and get help, divorce is an option because you are a great woman with so much to offer and deserve much better.
CuddleBug is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sexless` 21 and married Blondee Sex in Marriage 3 07-20-2012 10:26 AM
I'm set for a sexless life... theunmarriedone Sex in Marriage 29 01-13-2012 05:26 PM
Not Married but in sexless relationship SearchingForME The Men's Clubhouse 14 10-04-2011 01:09 PM
Young sexless married couple gsm Sex in Marriage 4 02-12-2011 06:47 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:01 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.