michzz

You ask a lot of questions!

Seems to me that you are in a period of growth in how you feel about life and your own happiness. And this is a good thing.

If you feel locked into a way of being that has taken centuries to become the way of things, then you have a lot to do to get free of that.

At minimum you have to start speaking up for yourself in all things. Be it sexual satisfaction or your role in your family, your culture.

If that is frowned upon or it risks your health, I can see your reticence and frustration.

kansasman

Hello
it took me a while to go over your posts. my wife and I born and raised in Bangladesh. we moved to this country 9 years ago.
I'm 34 and she 31 both have Phd and raising 2 kids
we are both polar and we understand what you are going through. my wife has more drive than me. I couldn't keep up with my wife. so we suggested to try it with another woman in room as 3 way. and from there situation improved. then we tried it with another married couples from the same regions. we both are very satisfied.
to just let you know. we both are from conservative families and both were virgins.
have you thought about doing it with another woman, since it considered less cheating? or have you talked to your husband about it?

gmailgirl

Threesome etc is out of question. As I mentioned before sex is a taboo in our society and I am suffering because of that. Moreover I think I won't be comfortable with that. I have controlled myself so much and for so long that I don't want to open can of worms and be dis-oriented with new experimentations with new partners.

I am asking my husband to use different ways to help me but it happens rarely. sex is the least priority in our family/society and believe it or not it is the main reason for the problems in our married lives which gets worst with time and becomes hopeless.

I am sorry about the message above - I feel things in our lives can be positive only when we work towards making ourselves better.

kansasman

you dont have to be sorry.
going to a three may be will encourage your husband and turn his libo high. I assume the reason that your husband might have a low libo is that because he is bored from daily routine (i'm not saying he dont love you)
May be experiment with let us say another with another woman will increase the edge in your husband and both be satisfied for having different things.
and may be experiment with other couples. this way are doing it in front of each others and turn off the fire inside you.
there is nothing wrong with you. you are a normal person and your needs are normal.
like i said before we are coming from same conservative families.
you said you asked your husband different way, what do you mean different way?

gmailgirl

Thanks Kansasman..

I asked him to follow Tweak's advice above to use hand technique for G-spot orgasm- We would never be comfortable with another man or woman. It's just the way things are - If I were not so reserved myself I would have taken up the colleague's offer- as need is need right -

I am just hoping and praying nothing happens with me in future. I don't want to have crush on someone -it's just so painful to control emotions when they are obsessive..

My H is definitely not bored with me- I am very cheerful and lively and so is he- we enjoy each other's company very much - in fact he is crazy about me but he simply has a low libido - which is a problem.

Alex - I will incorporate more toys in our sex - that should help-

gmailgirl

Can someone suggest a good book for Tantric Yoga? Also some tips to channelize sexual energy would be highly appreciated! Has someone achieved that through different means? Can they throw some light?

michzz

This one is a good start:

Red Hot Tantra: Erotic Secrets of Red Tantra for Intimate, Soul-to-Soul Sex and Ecstatic, Enlightened Orgasms

by David Alan Ramsdale


or

Tantric Secrets for Men: What Every Woman Will Want Her Man to Know about Enhancing Sexual Ecstasy

by Kerry Riley

gmailgirl

Thanks Michzz.. I will get those.