Ok, so I posted before that my H had 'fallen once' to receive a bj from a man. In fact he 'fell' to that man multiple times across a long period of time. He claims he was always wasted on drugs when it happened. My questions:
1. He knowingly went back again and again. Is he gay? (He swears he isn't and hates to think about it. I do believe that he hasn't done that again and that particular relationship is definitely over.)
2. He loves butts. Does anyone here believe that he would be in this drugged out/recipient-only situation over a period of time and NOT go further with this guy? Like to HIS behind?
Can't believe this is part of my life...
Help. Really need perspective please?
first: cocaine makes you horny, for anything. so the gayness, well, it's what was available at the time.
second: coke is used as a seductress.
third: make him get tested for std's. all of em. demand to see the results. hppa may not allow you access without his approval, but he must give you that.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
I do know that when my H was using, he wanted sex so much to the point I hated it. I even made him go to the doctor to have his libildo checked! Of course, at the time, I didn't know the cocaine was the cause of it. My H didn't do anything with anyone else, he just drove me crazy. I have heard about what Voivod is saying though.
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
nothing would make me recieve sex acts from another man, absolutely positively nothing. and i somewhat disagree with the coke/horny scenario, i think it works in the opposite and erection is difficult to achieve
nothing would make me recieve sex acts from another man, absolutely positively nothing. and i somewhat disagree with the coke/horny scenario, i think it works in the opposite and erection is difficult to achieve
Are there other drugs that do cause a heightened drive? I'm now curious as to why my H wouldn've had an abnormal drive for a time and now falls in a much more normal range.....
I do know the thought of him being with another man is a huge turnoff for him. He's never had desires for that type of thing even in his mind. He did say he never wanted anyone but me during those times. I believe that completely.
I would search further into your husband's history. I would be concerned about STD's-- which is a possibility in any relationship which isn't monogamous.
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
This topic piqued my curiosity so I researched it. Apparently, with Coke use there is a desire to capitalize on the high. Coke addicts often look for thrill seeking activities to enhance the sensation.
However, there ia a flip side. As suggested, and I do know to be true, ED can play role here as well. WHile the man has much desire, he can't perform. I do know that doesn't happen that often, though. I think it starts to become an issue when the addiction is to the point of the addict removing himself/herself from job responsibilities, family, etc....
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
Well if marriage was a dating game show... I'm thinking if bachelor #1 is a gay coke addict, it's time to focus the questions on bachelor #2 and #3.
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Good point Atholk. I would think if something like that happened once and it was that difficult for the recipient to even think back on the act, it wouldn't have been done multiple times, unless he was going through a period of experimentation and now feels shamed for cheating on you. It does sound like there were some tendencies there, but I do believe people can change. That said, you need to make certain your husband has, in fact, changed.
I don't think the statement, "once a cheater, always a cheater" rings true in all cases.
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
nothing would make me recieve sex acts from another man, absolutely positively nothing. and i somewhat disagree with the coke/horny scenario
really? nothing? how about a gun to your head, or one of your beloved? yeah, you'd give AND receive. not trying to be macabre, just to make a point. ask addicts of the fiend cocaine. they'll tell you the addiction is like being held hostage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by okeydokie
i think it works in the opposite and erection is difficult to achieve
physically, it raises blood pressure for a short while. so maintaining an erection is pretty easy for a healthy man. the psychological effect is amazing. addicts spend the rest of their life trying to replicate the high. hence, the high risk behavior associated with coke.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
long term gay & coke affair
