When I got to college, every future plan I heard always included matrimony. With America topping lists of infidelity and divorce, I used to wonder why everyone was so determined to get married. Where they influenced by culture or their religion? Was their marriage or bust mentality due to socioeconomic factors? Or do this people believe in the age old adages of love and soulmates?
I am an Igbo American women. While growing up in Nigeria and America, I was taught that marriage is a vehicle that delivered love, financial security, and companionship. I want to know what Americans think about matriomony. My people, please tell me why you got married.
I got married because I knew that Ididn't want to live without this man..I wanted his companionship, his intimacy...Hard to explain really. All I knew is I had this uncontrollable feeling I had never felt before and wanted to keep it..
I got married because I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life without her. Unfortunately, I need to start imagining it because she wants to leave me.
Marriage is the ideal that has been pushed on us for generations. Need to have a family, a home, two cars, a cellphone. It is all part of the picture that we want to hang onto. Unfortunately, no one talks about the chemistry required, the unrelenting commitment. Americans rush into marriage because they feel like they need to be married, not because they want to marry a particular person. We are also taught never to take responsibility for our lot in life. It is our parents' fault, our society's fault, our spouses fault, etc. If things get tough, find a way out. That is our motto. Well that, or blow **** up.
We want families, but we don't have family values. We want relationships, but are not committed to them. It is so easy nowadays to meet new people through the internet, travel, etc. that there is almost no need to commit anymore. If that loving feeling dies down, find another one to replace it. Sure, that will complicate having a family or growing older, but whatever. Better to be a happy flake, than an unhappy person of quality, right?
Obviously, I am not having a good morning or a good life right now. But I finally realized that I also let my situation get to where it is. I am taking responsibility and I want no part of anyone who can't do the same.
When I got to college, every future plan I heard always included matrimony. With America topping lists of infidelity and divorce, I used to wonder why everyone was so determined to get married. Where they influenced by culture or their religion? Was their marriage or bust mentality due to socioeconomic factors? Or do this people believe in the age old adages of love and soulmates?
I am an Igbo American women. While growing up in Nigeria and America, I was taught that marriage is a vehicle that delivered love, financial security, and companionship. I want to know what Americans think about matriomony. My people, please tell me why you got married.
If you made divorce as eaasy and as equal in ever society you'd see similar numbers across the world. So the real question is why do people get married? Because the bond is stronger!
Just in America, you can't pretend to be a certain way until marriage then a monster after it. SO it offers a bit more confidence that if things or people change so can the relationship.
Well, where you are from, what are the standards there?? Do they not get married and just have children?? Are the standards more animalistic whereas the man is just there for his sperm donation and not the rearing of the child?? And what about those who do not want children but still want a sexuality?? How does that work?? Is there no jealousy such that people can be promiscuous and not worry about infringing on other people's partner?? I'm just curious as to your upbringing and the beliefs that instilled in you. This is interesting.
i got married because i love my husband more than anything in the world i could not imagin my life with out him we had been togeather two years when we married and we have now been married two years so all in all 4
we got married really young i was 20 the only reason we married at that age was because i fell pregnant with our lovely son.
we have recently been going threw a really rough patch witch i thourght was my husband cheating on me?
turned out i was wrong he was haveing a nervous break down witch resulted in an attempted suicide!
he is now in hospital been treated for this and i tell you know its the hardest thing in the world to watch your loved pne go threw.
the concept is same here in england you get married because you feel pressured into a marrage by family because you cant start a fmaily until you are married its the done thing marrage house car kids then a dog with a picket fence but as i have come to realise over the past few ddays its not all a bed of roses
dont feel pressured into anything by any one
I married for love. I thought that he was the most wonderful man that I had ever met and that what we shared together would last a lifetime. I pictured us having children together and growing old together. To just be together. Boy, was I romantic and naive.
I think its because we are glutton for punishment actually i heard a shrink say that most have the fantasy of 'true love' from the movies, but what its really about is attracting someone that will challenge about 90% of the unresolved issue one incurred as a child.
I think its because we are glutton for punishment actually i heard a shrink say that most have the fantasy of 'true love' from the movies, but what its really about is attracting someone that will challenge about 90% of the unresolved issue one incurred as a child.
ljtseng- I love your comment. It's absolutely true!
My husband and I loved each other when we got married...I think. It was early in our relationship and we got married when our daughter was ten months old. We have been married 11 years and have been having problems recently. I guess I'm like a lot of Americans...I just want an easy out. Nevertheless, I am trying to work through things with my husband.
Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide what they are willing to do to make a marriage work. We are all different, so your situation depends on your perspective and values about marriage.
I would advise that no one go into a marriage without really thinking it through. We were sort of obligated to get married, because we had a baby and we're Catholic. We put this on ourselves, but that's in the past.
You will hear a lot of negative things about marriage, but there are many relationships you will hear about that flourish. You just got to figure out what's right for you. This was a good thread...very probing. Good luck!
When I got to college, every future plan I heard always included matrimony. With America topping lists of infidelity and divorce, I used to wonder why everyone was so determined to get married. Where they influenced by culture or their religion? Was their marriage or bust mentality due to socioeconomic factors? Or do this people believe in the age old adages of love and soulmates?
I am an Igbo American women. While growing up in Nigeria and America, I was taught that marriage is a vehicle that delivered love, financial security, and companionship. I want to know what Americans think about matriomony. My people, please tell me why you got married.
Why do Americans get married?
The rich people do it, because they want that fake bimbo girl on their arm, and think she really loves him and not his money. Those guys don't care to throw their money out the door for a new younger bimbo model. The other guys are either into porn, cheat to try to get "what they think" is better than they have at home, or think..hey, I want to be like the rich guys and get me a bimbo too. It's their life, but I think it is so sad, because they don't know what it is to have a good loving marriage. One that wasn't based on how one looks and how many diamonds or fancy cars someone can give them.
I got married because I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life without her. Unfortunately, I need to start imagining it because she wants to leave me.
Marriage is the ideal that has been pushed on us for generations. Need to have a family, a home, two cars, a cellphone. It is all part of the picture that we want to hang onto. Unfortunately, no one talks about the chemistry required, the unrelenting commitment. Americans rush into marriage because they feel like they need to be married, not because they want to marry a particular person. We are also taught never to take responsibility for our lot in life. It is our parents' fault, our society's fault, our spouses fault, etc. If things get tough, find a way out. That is our motto. Well that, or blow **** up.
We want families, but we don't have family values. We want relationships, but are not committed to them. It is so easy nowadays to meet new people through the internet, travel, etc. that there is almost no need to commit anymore. If that loving feeling dies down, find another one to replace it. Sure, that will complicate having a family or growing older, but whatever. Better to be a happy flake, than an unhappy person of quality, right?
Obviously, I am not having a good morning or a good life right now. But I finally realized that I also let my situation get to where it is. I am taking responsibility and I want no part of anyone who can't do the same.
We want families, but we don't have family values. We want relationships, but are not committed to them. Very true and you couldn't have sad it any better.
Why do Americans get married?
actually i heard a shrink say that most have the fantasy of 'true love' from the movies, but what its really about is attracting someone that will challenge about 90% of the unresolved issue one incurred as a child.
It's their life, but I think it is so sad, because they don't know what it is to have a good loving marriage. One that wasn't based on how one looks and how many diamonds or fancy cars someone can give them.
