nelo89

When I got to college, every future plan I heard always included matrimony. With America topping lists of infidelity and divorce, I used to wonder why everyone was so determined to get married. Where they influenced by culture or their religion? Was their marriage or bust mentality due to socioeconomic factors? Or do this people believe in the age old adages of love and soulmates?

I am an Igbo American women. While growing up in Nigeria and America, I was taught that marriage is a vehicle that delivered love, financial security, and companionship. I want to know what Americans think about matriomony. My people, please tell me why you got married.

juls

I got married because I knew that Ididn't want to live without this man..I wanted his companionship, his intimacy...Hard to explain really. All I knew is I had this uncontrollable feeling I had never felt before and wanted to keep it..

BrokenFrag

I got married because I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life without her. Unfortunately, I need to start imagining it because she wants to leave me.

Marriage is the ideal that has been pushed on us for generations. Need to have a family, a home, two cars, a cellphone. It is all part of the picture that we want to hang onto. Unfortunately, no one talks about the chemistry required, the unrelenting commitment. Americans rush into marriage because they feel like they need to be married, not because they want to marry a particular person. We are also taught never to take responsibility for our lot in life. It is our parents' fault, our society's fault, our spouses fault, etc. If things get tough, find a way out. That is our motto. Well that, or blow **** up.

We want families, but we don't have family values. We want relationships, but are not committed to them. It is so easy nowadays to meet new people through the internet, travel, etc. that there is almost no need to commit anymore. If that loving feeling dies down, find another one to replace it. Sure, that will complicate having a family or growing older, but whatever. Better to be a happy flake, than an unhappy person of quality, right?

Obviously, I am not having a good morning or a good life right now. But I finally realized that I also let my situation get to where it is. I am taking responsibility and I want no part of anyone who can't do the same.

draconis

If you made divorce as eaasy and as equal in ever society you'd see similar numbers across the world. So the real question is why do people get married? Because the bond is stronger!

Just in America, you can't pretend to be a certain way until marriage then a monster after it. SO it offers a bit more confidence that if things or people change so can the relationship.

draconis

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bhappy3

Well, where you are from, what are the standards there?? Do they not get married and just have children?? Are the standards more animalistic whereas the man is just there for his sperm donation and not the rearing of the child?? And what about those who do not want children but still want a sexuality?? How does that work?? Is there no jealousy such that people can be promiscuous and not worry about infringing on other people's partner?? I'm just curious as to your upbringing and the beliefs that instilled in you. This is interesting.

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