I live in the southern hemisphere, so it's summer here. I went to the beach, and now I feel so down about my body. I have nothing that I really like about it. I have small boobs (my boyfriend likes large better), I have huge hipbones, a kind of flat butt, cellulite all over it and over my thick thighs, short legs, stretch marks everywhere, not even a stunning face or hair to compensate!
I just can't seem to accept my body. I already work out every day and eat healthily, I'm normal weight (not skinny though), and no matter how much I work out I just can't tone my lower belly, and thighs. I know I'm healthy and all, but I feel it sucks so much to have such an ugly body, what's the use of an ugly body? I just can't accept myself. I know my bf loves me and probably doesn't even think about these things (although he probably did check out all those women and thought they were HOT... he also probably wouldn't mind if one day I woke up with big boobs, tight tummy, big firm round butt, and thinner, cellulite free thighs, sigh!).
What can I do? I just can't feel good about this. I hate seeing my body in the mirror. It sucks. I'm only 21, have never been pregnant and saw older women, with kids who had better bodies than mine. As I said, I work out so it's not like I'm a fat girl complaining, I even have a normal BMI! How do I get over it? I hate being ugly.
I have had body issues all my life so I know how you are feeling. I also eat healthy and workout on a regular basis and no matter what I do there is always areas that will never look like the models in the magazines, I will always have a little bulge on my tummy and cellulite on my thighs. But as I have gotten older I have come to accept my body as it is, I now focus on the inside of my body. Is my heart healthy? Are my arteries clear? I now think back to all the years I wasted thinking that way and also realized that all my hard work was really trying to get others to desire me and accept me and find me attractive. But what I really found out through counseling is that I need to accept what can not be changed (in all aspects of your life). I need to first love me and accept me and only after doing that can I start being happy.
Like you have stated, your boyfriend loves you and he loves your body. When he looks at you he does not see what you see and your comments probably frustrate him.
I would recommend personal counseling, dealing with your body image is real and it is the distorted images in our heads that lead to eating disorders and poor self image.
These things you are saying, yes I know they are real to you and bothersome.
If your boyfriend and you are in the good relationship, then it is good to understand he is loving you not only because your body is a certain way, even if he does notice other woman there is more to the relationship than merely looks.
But to your comments that you are working out everyday, but not happy with the results, I have to ask exactly what it is you may or may not be doing to be effective?
Too often to see a woman only running herself to death on a cardio machine, and to top this off starving herself, and often at best is looking like a starving third world beggar!!! Avoid this.
Instead of these things, remember to balance in all things.
To eat healthy, but without starving yourself.
To maybe only work out 3 or 4 days a week, and not "everyday", this is maybe too much.
Also do not overdo the cardio activity, and neglect building up the muscles. This is resistance exercises and yes, using weights like barbells and dumbells!!!
Also avoid mainly the notion of "toning", there is not really the way to make one part of your body healthy and neglect the rest, instead know you have one complete body and health and fitness needs to be addressed holistically.
This website is geared for the woman and is the best I've seen for woman's health, but actually makes sense for both men and women.
Well you've confirmed yourself you are doing everything you can -physically- for your self esteem, but what are you doing for yourself psychologically?
Are you making time to do things that you enjoy, and that aid you in making you feel better about yourself?
Ie. Dance lessons, learn to surf, take an art class, really anything you enjoy that will bring out your positivity.
Also try hitting up your local book store or surfing the web for some self-help books about self esteem.
Sometimes you need to do things for yourself, whether that be go out and get a manicure, get a new "power outfit", your hair done, or even just go out and buy a great book and have some "you" time.
There is common sense to losing weight or changing your bodyweight, such as be more active, eat less crap.
But there is also far more science to it as well. Two things are the most common: people either overtrain (yes, you can workout too much, and have negative results) or, you aren't hitting your personal 'zone' for fat burning. This usually involves maintaining your heart rate at a particular level over time.
You may want to consult with a trainer, and mix up what you are doing.
Have you ever done weight circuit training? It is both strength training, and cardio combined. Two birds, one stone. Thirty minutes max.
Another factor is your caloric intake. Eating less, can actually be counterproductive. Eating more ... of the right things can have incredible results.
Don't give up, simply adjust, and don't be afraid to keep changing up your workouts.
One of my kids did a video workout called P90X with his wife, which seemed really intense. When I was visiting I sat on the sofa and watched and read the book that came with it.
If I follow, one problem that people have is that they eat less, but they don't eat better, and so their workouts don't have the results that they want. The P90X book said something about the chemical reactions to burn fat require both oxygen and sugar. So they want you to eat something before the workout. The day I was over they had a half-cup of cottage cheese with a half-cup of berries in it. Apparently the result is that your body will burn more fat than if you eat nothing. I don't pretend to know all the biochemistry, but they were quite happy with the results.
A friend of mine tried something called the "Shangri-La Diet", which seemed easy and cheap and safe, and he was happy with it, so you could try that, too. But definitely it's not just eat less: eat healthier.
And avoid high-fructose corn syrup; that stuff apparently tricks your body into thinking you haven't eaten yet, so you can stuff yourself and still be hungry, and you end up eating far more than you intended to.
If you find that your current exercise regime has plateaued then you need to switch it up. The body gets used to doing particular moves or exercises and you hit a plateau where you'll stop making good gains.
womenshealthmag.com has quite a few downloadable workouts that can target specific areas and also for full body workouts. Try switching up your workouts every few weeks to keep your body guessing.
Interval training is also an amazing cardio workout that has been proven to get better and faster results than just standard cardio. (trying to start doing this myself)
Thirdly, nutrition is a huge thing. You may be eating healthily, but the question is when and how much. 5-6 small meals a day is much better than 2-3 large ones. Also, ensuring that you fuel your body before exercise and replenish afterwards for optimal results.
Good luck and hopefully you find a program that works for you! (Oh, and don't worry about small boobs, when you are older, you won't find your bellybutton between them!)
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