Random Thoughts Of An Introvert - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
The Social Spot Talk About Whatever.

User Tag List

 248Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #31 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 11:27 AM
Member
 
Middle of Everything's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: The Middle
Posts: 1,040
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Which one of us is the black guy? You know so we can be well hung and stuff.

Uh oh, did I just start another size thread?


"Masturbate with just a slick hand and thoughts of your wife." --Intheory
Middle of Everything is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #32 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 11:37 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,418
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by Middle of Everything View Post
Which one of us is the black guy? You know so we can be well hung and stuff.

Uh oh, did I just start another size thread?
Lol, well let's just say that when I wake up with morning wood, I have to be careful not to knock over the lamp!
EllisRedding is online now  
post #33 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 11:46 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,591
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy999 View Post
I'm the reverse-it's painful and awkward for me to pass someone and not say hi.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
And I have had to work to understand the bolded. I would have never understood before that extroverts literally feel uncomfortable if they are not doing that thing they do. It has taken me years to understand this. I'm still a work in progress, too.
I'm an INTJ.

When I approach someone coming towards me in a hallway, I have to think about what to say.

When I was young I figured that everybody did this and they were just better at knowing what to say.

It took a long time to realize that most people didn't think about what to say, it just happened.

Now that I'm 60, I have learned what to say so I'm no longer uncomfortable in those situations. But it doesn't seem "natural".

There's a great Dilbert cartoon where Catbert asks Dilbert why he has a bandage on his head.

Dilbert explains that there was someone he didn't know walking down a hallway towards him (in an office filled with engineers) and that, not knowing what to say, he bent over to pick up a piece of dust on the floor.

Catbird asks him how that was responsible for the bandage on his forehead.

Dilbert responds "He was reaching for the same piece of dust".
Buddy400 is offline  
 
post #34 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 11:54 AM
Member
 
Mr. Nail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Western US
Posts: 2,389
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

I did this back in January I'm ENFP-T.
I understand myself better after the test. Being extroverted doesn't necessarily mean you go to a lot of parties. It just means that when you do, you get energy from being there. There were a lot of years when I disappeared from parties.
Mr. Nail is online now  
post #35 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 12:56 PM
Member
 
Joey2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 330
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post

He at first thought that I wished I could talk to people but couldn't because I'm "shy", so he would think he was assisting me somehow when he would start talking to people and then try to force me into the conversation with them, too.
That's the worst, isn't it? When an extrovert tries to "help".

Ever been at a party or some other social gathering and some well-meaning outgoing person tries to include you and bring you out of your shell by loudly commenting on how quiet you are? And all eyes turn on you...

Passive aggressive and emotionally unavailable (whatever that means)
Joey2k is offline  
post #36 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 01:20 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,418
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joey2k View Post
That's the worst, isn't it? When an extrovert tries to "help".

Ever been at a party or some other social gathering and some well-meaning outgoing person tries to include you and bring you out of your shell by loudly commenting on how quiet you are? And all eyes turn on you...
What's the problem? Don't you know the easiest way to get an introvert out of their "shell" is to put them on the spot in front of a group of people they barely know, duh!
EllisRedding is online now  
post #37 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 01:31 PM
Member
 
MrsAldi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,436
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joey2k View Post
That's the worst, isn't it? When an extrovert tries to "help".

Ever been at a party or some other social gathering and some well-meaning outgoing person tries to include you and bring you out of your shell by loudly commenting on how quiet you are? And all eyes turn on you...
I hate that too.
Those people are just rude and bullish.
Trying to take attention away from themselves. I often bite back, "Well, you were so loud that I couldn't get a word in anyway!"

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk
MrsAldi is offline  
post #38 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 02:36 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,252
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Fellow ISFJ here. Preach!!

It's been harder to break out of the introvert shell the older that I get. I feel like I get more set in my ways with each passing year.

I would rather get a root canal than do any of these things:

- have anyone, regardless of who they are, show up at my house unannounced. That includes my closest family.

- attend any type of "networking" event or professional mixer.

- attend a party where there are more people I don't know than I do know. I can handle a couple strangers in a familiar crowd but if the scale tips the other way, forget it. I was actually invited to a "girls night" this evening which I am not attending because I only know 2 out of 20 of the ladies attending. Small talk with strangers...no thanks.

My husband is an introvert too. Sometimes I am envious of friends whose husbands are more the social "leader", especially at social functions like parties and get togethers. I would LOVE to have someone I could stand next to who would carry the weight of conversations so I didn't have to do it. Alas he is not that type of person. I have more of a need for politeness I guess than he does, so I usually have to carry us when we are around people we don't know. It is exhausting!! I often beg off from most functions that require a lot of socializing for that reason.
kag123 is offline  
post #39 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 04:09 PM
Member
 
lucy999's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Brownbackistan
Posts: 1,860
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

I love this thread. It is so eye-opening for me reading about all the introverts' feelings and anxiety. I appreciate it. It is helping me further understand how you guys think and feel.

Y'all would hate me and my BF-I swear everywhere we go, it's like we're a comedy act or something. Always cutting jokes to the clerks, or riffing off each other. He's not quite as gregarious as I am, but he's a close second.
lucy999 is offline  
post #40 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 04:15 PM
Member
 
Joey2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 330
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
What's the problem? Don't you know the easiest way to get an introvert out of their "shell" is to put them on the spot in front of a group of people they barely know, duh!
They'll thank you for it later


Passive aggressive and emotionally unavailable (whatever that means)
Joey2k is offline  
post #41 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 04:23 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,252
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy999 View Post
I love this thread. It is so eye-opening for me reading about all the introverts' feelings and anxiety. I appreciate it. It is helping me further understand how you guys think and feel.

Y'all would hate me and my BF-I swear everywhere we go, it's like we're a comedy act or something. Always cutting jokes to the clerks, or riffing off each other. He's not quite as gregarious as I am, but he's a close second.
I have two VERY extroverted friends. I love them both dearly.

I can only handle them both in small doses. I tend to avoid one-on-one time with them because then ALL of their boundless energy is focused on me and I find that exhausting. I love seeing them in a crowd though. They are the ones I cling to because they effortlessly carry the conversation and I can just ride the wave without feeling pressured to perform for anyone else.

They are also the only two people in my life who have ever dropped by my house unannounced. They meant well, but man...that kind of thing takes me days to recover from. I politely told them both to please never ever do that again. They were genuinely shocked that anyone would feel that way.
kag123 is offline  
post #42 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 10:10 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,418
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Alright, some more random thoughts on this topic.

I think one common theme you will see amongst introverts is control, specifically having control over your environment. The less control you have, the more uncomfortable it makes you feel. Go out with a small group of close friends, you can feel like you have control over the situation. However, as @kag123 stated, as the scale starts to tip in favor of strangers, your control and comfort slips.

@Fozzy had mentioned hosting parties at home. For me, home is my "safe" place. When we have company over, I am ok at first, but the longer they are there (regardless of whether or not I am having fun) it wears on me to the point where I almost feel trapped/overwhelmed as some of my control slips (don't mean to make it sound as dramatic as it may come across lol). Add in those family members who never want to leave, oh boy...

The funny thing is, I can be considered an extrovert, but once again, given the right environment. I go to a small local gym. Been going there when it opens (5am) pretty much every day for years. I see most of the same people there every day. I have zero issues striking up conversations, even with someone I may not know. The reason, this place has become a comfort zone where I have control over the environment. Send me to a big box gym and I probably just go about my business with my head down not speaking to anyone.

I wonder if for some who have issues with being in large crowds or noisy situations, it is in part due to a sensory problem with how we process all the extra "noise". I know the "noise" gets me overwhelmed very quick, and I am noticing the same behavior in one of my sons.

@lucy999 made a great post in regards to how some introverts can be perceived. I am sure at times I am perceived as being unfriendly, being snobbish, being a loner, simply because I am content being alone, lost in my own thoughts. The irony of it, I have no issues getting along with pretty much anyone, and for some reason people feel comfortable talking to me (which can be a bit of a cruel joke when you factor in how much I hate small talk lol).

The one time I am always an extrovert, when I am alone talking to myself, or when I find a killer MEME

The moral of the story, whether you are an extrovert or introvert, embrace it, be the person you want to be and f$ck anyone (umm, not literally...) who has a problem with this.
EllisRedding is online now  
post #43 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 10:30 AM
Member
 
Fozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,681
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Alright, some more random thoughts on this topic.

I think one common theme you will see amongst introverts is control, specifically having control over your environment. The less control you have, the more uncomfortable it makes you feel. Go out with a small group of close friends, you can feel like you have control over the situation. However, as @kag123 stated, as the scale starts to tip in favor of strangers, your control and comfort slips.

@Fozzy had mentioned hosting parties at home. For me, home is my "safe" place. When we have company over, I am ok at first, but the longer they are there (regardless of whether or not I am having fun) it wears on me to the point where I almost feel trapped/overwhelmed as some of my control slips (don't mean to make it sound as dramatic as it may come across lol). Add in those family members who never want to leave, oh boy...

The funny thing is, I can be considered an extrovert, but once again, given the right environment. I go to a small local gym. Been going there when it opens (5am) pretty much every day for years. I see most of the same people there every day. I have zero issues striking up conversations, even with someone I may not know. The reason, this place has become a comfort zone where I have control over the environment. Send me to a big box gym and I probably just go about my business with my head down not speaking to anyone.

I wonder if for some who have issues with being in large crowds or noisy situations, it is in part due to a sensory problem with how we process all the extra "noise". I know the "noise" gets me overwhelmed very quick, and I am noticing the same behavior in one of my sons.

@lucy999 made a great post in regards to how some introverts can be perceived. I am sure at times I am perceived as being unfriendly, being snobbish, being a loner, simply because I am content being alone, lost in my own thoughts. The irony of it, I have no issues getting along with pretty much anyone, and for some reason people feel comfortable talking to me (which can be a bit of a cruel joke when you factor in how much I hate small talk lol).

The one time I am always an extrovert, when I am alone talking to myself, or when I find a killer MEME

The moral of the story, whether you are an extrovert or introvert, embrace it, be the person you want to be and f$ck anyone (umm, not literally...) who has a problem with this.
Very much this. My wife's family is a great bunch of people and I love them to death, but they're the kind of folks where you can have 8 of them in a room, and they're having 8 different conversations, simultaneously. They just never stop talking, and they'll increase volume to keep talking over each other. It's madness.

And then they want to rent movies when we come over! NOBODY hears any of the dialogue! MADNESS!

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
Fozzy is offline  
post #44 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 10:57 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,418
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fozzy View Post
Very much this. My wife's family is a great bunch of people and I love them to death, but they're the kind of folks where you can have 8 of them in a room, and they're having 8 different conversations, simultaneously. They just never stop talking, and they'll increase volume to keep talking over each other. It's madness.

And then they want to rent movies when we come over! NOBODY hears any of the dialogue! MADNESS!
Lol, you described my family as well. Even better, we always have those few family members where if we have a get together starting at 2pm, they will arrive at 5pm and stay well past when everyone else leaves!

As for your movie issue, just rent porn, no need to hear the dialogue
EllisRedding is online now  
post #45 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 11:07 AM
Member
 
Fozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,681
Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

So apparently I'm an INFP. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but there you go.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
Fozzy is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Would Like to Hear Your Thoughts WhiskeyVictor Considering Divorce or Separation 9 09-17-2016 12:55 AM
Just some random thoughts Ynot Life After Divorce 12 03-22-2016 11:18 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome