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post #1 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 08:50 AM Thread Starter
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Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

First off, maybe I never noticed before, but I didn't realize that Halloween parties are such a big thing with adults. So going with this, these past few days I kept hearing about and seeing all these pictures of adult Halloween parties and how much fun everyone had. Part of me thinks to myself that it would be a lot of fun to attend. However, the other part of me knows that I have no interest in this, I don't find it enjoyable going out to hang around a bunch of people I don't know to force some awkward conversation. My W and I were actually joking about this yesterday, our neighbor had a Halloween Party and didn't invite us (no big deal). They had invited us earlier in the year to an Adult Only party which we declined (in part b/c it was a Friday night and after being gone from home 14 hours I had no interest in going right back out), so we figured that got us taken off the invite list

The interesting thing, I have little interest in socializing with a group of people I don't know or don't know well. On the other hand, I would have no issues hanging out with a small group of close friends. The problem, it is tough to get to the point where you have close friends if you aren't willing to go out and socialize / get to know people. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining one bit, it is just an interesting dynamic, maybe something other introverts deal with as well.

I just took one of those personality tests and I came up ISFJ which I would say for the most part is accurate (there are a few components which are way off, but not many).

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post #2 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 10:31 AM
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

What's ISFJ?

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post #3 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 10:31 AM
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Ellis, I'm the same way. My BIL and ex-SIL used to have a Halloween party every year. I kind of had to psyche myself up to go. It got harder when ex-SIL started alienated BIL friends and coworkers, (which I knew), from their circle of friends. The guests mainly became her friends and coworkers, (super cliquey group.) I really just went for my BIL. I'm so much better in a small group.
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post #4 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 10:36 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

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Originally Posted by tropicalbeachiwish View Post
What's ISFJ?

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This is the definition given after I took the test:

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The ISFJ personality type is quite unique, as many of their qualities defy the definition of their individual traits. Though possessing the Feeling (F) trait, ISFJs have excellent analytical abilities; though Introverted (I), they have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and though they are a Judging (J) type, ISFJs are often receptive to change and new ideas. As with so many things, people with the ISFJ personality type are more than the sum of their parts, and it is the way they use these strengths that defines who they are.
The J part is not really accurate IMO, but who am I to judge

I took the test here:

https://www.16personalities.com
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post #5 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 10:38 AM
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Parties are mentally exhausting for me. I have to mentally prep myself leading up to it and even when it's fun, it causes me no end of tension. Even worse when it's in my own home

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post #6 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 10:40 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

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Ellis, I'm the same way. My BIL and ex-SIL used to have a Halloween party every year. I kind of had to psyche myself up to go. It got harder when ex-SIL started alienated BIL friends and coworkers, (which I knew), from their circle of friends. The guests mainly became her friends and coworkers, (super cliquey group.) I really just went for my BIL. I'm so much better in a small group.
My Sis and BIL are complete opposites of my W and I, very extroverted. For my Sis's 40th bday my BIL was having a small party for her with all their friends, and he wanted my W and I to go to have some family there. I felt like a d$kc but told him we would pass. I saw my Sis separately with the rest of the family, did the cake/presents thing, etc.. so wasn't like we just ignored her. There was just nothing appealing about going to hang out with people who are not our friends, especially since I knew there would be a lot of drinking (even worse, people you don't know who are drunk...)

I will take a small close knit group of friends any day of the week! I just hate the fact that introverts by some are treated as having something wrong with them, or being socially retarded.
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post #7 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 10:41 AM
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Small groups all the way for me I get way too nervous at large parties.

Having said that, my daughter went to an adult Halloween event with a couple of friends which was held at a local theatre. So she was part of the Halloween fun without having to be overly sociable with lots of people (she was basically being entertained and the fancy dress was fun). Maybe you could look to see if there is something in your area like that.
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post #8 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 10:42 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

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Parties are mentally exhausting for me. I have to mentally prep myself leading up to it and even when it's fun, it causes me no end of tension. Even worse when it's in my own home
My W knows when we have a party at home at some point I will disappear. I have gotten better with this b/c I want to help out, but after a point it just becomes overload and I need alone time to recoup.
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post #9 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 10:55 AM
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

Introverts can be mistaken for being snobbish. I do better around small groups of people too. I don't like any attention so I'm unlikely to tell a story around large groups of people.

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post #10 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 11:18 AM
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

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Introverts can be mistaken for being snobbish.
It took me many years, misjudgements, and misunderstandings to FINALLY conclude that hey! Not everyone is an extrovert like myself. I used to think people who were introverted were snobs. Boy was I wrong. Taught me a very valuable lesson to not judge-I have zero idea what that person is thinking, angsting about, or what their life is like.

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post #11 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 11:22 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

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Originally Posted by tropicalbeachiwish View Post
Introverts can be mistaken for being snobbish. I do better around small groups of people too. I don't like any attention so I'm unlikely to tell a story around large groups of people.

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Last edited by EllisRedding; 11-02-2016 at 11:26 AM.
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post #12 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 11:26 AM
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

I was thinking along those same lines earlier today. I consider myself to be introverted. In most social situations I tend to lay low at first until I get a handle on the dynamics. A good example is that teach, sometimes I have classrooms of up to 100 people. I actually enjoy speaking in front of that many strange people. OTOH, I am more uncomfortable meeting a single strange person. Post divorce, this is one of those "fears" I have had to face head on. I seem to be getting better at it the more I do it though.
BTW I agree about Halloween (or most theme) parties. Especially for adults, who seem to need such an event to allow their alter egos to come out. Since I tend to be who I am all of the time, I don't have an alter ego that needs allowed out. I guess seeing others do it, makes me feel sad for them.

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post #13 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 11:35 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

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Originally Posted by lucy999 View Post
It took me many years, misjudgements, and misunderstandings to FINALLY conclude that hey! Not everyone is an extrovert like myself. I used to think people who were introverted were snobs. Boy was I wrong. Taught me a very valuable lesson to not judge-I have zero idea what that person is thinking, angsting about, or what their life is like.
I have actually had some family members call me anti social. First off, I am not anti social, I am selectively social Secondly though, when they say it to me, they are saying it in a negative manner. It would bother me if I actually gave a crap, I am more interested going through life being the person I want to be instead of being the person others feel I should be.
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post #14 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 12:19 PM
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

I took the test and I got The Defender. The thought that was the name of a Papa Johns pizza. I'm apparently introverted, observant, feeling, judging, and turbulent.

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post #15 of 168 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Random Thoughts Of An Introvert

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I took the test and I got The Defender. The thought that was the name of a Papa Johns pizza. I'm apparently introverted, observant, feeling, judging, and turbulent.
Heck yeah, fellow Defender here I feel like I should be fighting crime, my super power, judging criminals!
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