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post #16 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 07:18 PM
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Re: People who talk a lot

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True. Being good at conversation isn't what I'm referring to; it probably wouldn't hurt me if i were a little better at conversation, but I'm wondering about people who just can't seem to stop talking, even if others don't seem interested or if the time may not be right for talk.
Being talked at regardless of social cues or consideration. I've met a lady (an elder) like this and it was about loneliness. She just needed someone there. On occasion when she'd pause, I'd ask 'When was the last time I got a hug from you?' And she'd light up, saying how much she loves and misses hugs and that she'd give me a hug anytime! We'd exchange a big ole hug and strangely afterwards, the chatter would slow and she would start asking me questions and opening to a mutual conversation instead of just one-way.

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Here's an example. One of the ladies who works in my room arrived shortly after I did this morning. We exchanged a few words and didn't say anything else for 20 minutes because we were both busy, and I guess there hadn't been any major news or personal developments since we saw each other the evening before. When our other co-worker arrived, she didn't even say "good morning." Instead, she started with a story about traffic, and her jaw flapped non-stop for the next 15 minutes until class started and she had to shift gears. That is the type I can't relate to.
We're all different. Is she new and maybe trying to connect?

I arrived to work one day and barely walked through the door when a colleague launched into drama. I stepped back and motioned with body language. She paused. I said 'This is a bit much to walk into. Let me put my bag down first then let's talk.' She agreed. Maybe when your colleague arrives, you could be the one to say 'Good morning' first?


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post #17 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 08:32 PM
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Re: People who talk a lot

I enjoy conversations, but if the other people don't talk, I will just keep babbling myself.

Sometimes this works, sometimes I realize that I've been soapboxing to people. I don't mean to, I just do.

I get excited about topics and just want to say things.


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You may be just the person I'm looking for to explain it. To be clear, I'm not poking fun at all, but just wondering what makes those people tick.

Do you have conversations, or are you fine with talking whether others contribute much or not?

Do you ever feel at a loss of something to talk about, or are the wheels always turning?

Last edited by uhtred; 11-07-2016 at 08:33 PM. Reason: hit enter too early
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post #18 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 08:50 PM
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Re: People who talk a lot

@uhtred


I find that interesting. You seem so smooth and controlled in your TAM posts. Hard to imagine you "rambling" in any way when you talk irl
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post #19 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 10:26 PM
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Re: People who talk a lot

I haven't read through the whole thread. My STBX could talk for hours on end (to me or anyone) about work, cars, football, basically anything he had a true interest in. But, he couldn't seem to talk about things that needed to be discussed.
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post #20 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 11:20 PM
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Re: People who talk a lot

Most people who know me think I am very introspect and naturally reserved. Around strangers I keep quiet, smile a lot and occasionally will whip off a pun or one liner.

I keep quiet. If people knew what I was thinking, the men in white suits would soon join the party and haul me away, a-hey, a ho!

On occasion, someone will find the key to my voice box. Pity the poor flutcher. Age has mellowed me down six octaves and presently am, [in person], one forgiving soul.

I interface best with intellectuals, scientists and those with a mechanical/electrical bent. Social Climbers and Politicians....nope!

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

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post #21 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 12:17 AM
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Re: People who talk a lot

There are people who talk a lot and people who cannot deal with silence. I talk my fair share, but I am also good with silence around others. My mother, ayaya, cannot deal with silence. And silence is when she isn't talking. She will talk over whatever is on TV (cause you saw it before but if you talk if she is watching something...whoa Lilly). She will talk my ear off in the car. She will talk to everyone in the store, person behind he counter, to anyone, whether they are listening or not.

It's funny, my stbx used to get mad because I would chat a bit with waiters or check out people, usually making jokes or what have you. She didn't get what it means to talk incessantly. One ride in the car with my mom made her apologize for all the times she thought I talked too much. The worst part is, she is embarrassing. She talks about stupid stuff or points out things that are ridiculous to say. Hey, son, here is that pimple cream on sale! I often feel that I deserve some sort of national recognition for what I have/currently am enduring over the course of my life and have turned out to be realistically normal. Sorry for digressing, but it even took me a while to become self aware but she will never understand what it's like to be someone in conversation with her.

Love ya ma! 😇
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post #22 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 07:10 AM
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Re: People who talk a lot

😐

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post #23 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 07:36 AM
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Re: People who talk a lot

I'm quiet, I think, but I'm alone. I don't mind listening. It's ok.
But if someone is narrating their life I'm like 🙉 and all I hear is blah...blah...blah...dinner....blah...blah...blah. ...c0cktails...blah...blah...blah...sex...blah...b lah...blah...

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post #24 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 09:36 AM
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Re: People who talk a lot

I'm not a big talker, at all. I like to think that I'm a better listener than talker because I can empathize with everyone in some way. There are a few people in my life that are BIG talkers and I can handle them in small doses. Ha! I get exhausted from being around them for a few hours. But normally, I do like to be around them in small doses because I find them quite entertaining. However, those same people aren't very good friends because they're so busy talking all the time, that they don't listen to anyone else. It's all about them.

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post #25 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 10:13 AM
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Re: People who talk a lot

I guess ramble isn't quite right. I get excited - wave my arms around...and then realize I've been monopolizing the conversation for much too long.

I like conversations that challenge assumptions: "if AI works, how do we avoid becoming either pets or vermin" , or "does war provide a sort of cultural evolution", or "why did the Bearing land bridge matter, boats are better for travel anyway", or "If people knew more about nuclear fusion, would they actually want it".

I'm even worse at technical meetings. I can't manage to shut up.

I talk to people standing in line. I talk to people on trains / airplanes if they seem receptive to talking (I can shut up if someone doesn't want to talk).

One day some unfortunate Mormons came to our door. I love talking about religion and morality.

Even on social media, I'll just start typing and pretty soon I've written a long post....


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Originally Posted by notmyrealname4 View Post
@uhtred


I find that interesting. You seem so smooth and controlled in your TAM posts. Hard to imagine you "rambling" in any way when you talk irl


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post #26 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 06:18 PM
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Re: People who talk a lot

@uhtred, Bible thumpers are open prey.

I had surgery this past Friday. Total thyroidectomy so my ability to talk was minimal thanks to that dang breathing tube and my neck looks like I swallowed a tennis ball. Wouldn't you know the caregiver I hired turned out to be a hard-of-hearing talker from hell? She talked so much & so loudly I couldn't hear the male nurse read my discharge instructions. Had to ask the nurse to tell her to be quiet.

Normally, talkers don't bother me as my mind slips into a different time zone and my head just bobbles up and down. That, or I simply walk away.
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post #27 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 04:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: People who talk a lot

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Originally Posted by Haiku View Post
I'm quiet, I think, but I'm alone. I don't mind listening. It's ok.
But if someone is narrating their life I'm like 🙉 and all I hear is blah...blah...blah...dinner....blah...blah...blah. ...c0cktails...blah...blah...blah...sex...blah...b lah...blah...
Same here. If I have something to talk about, I have no problem with talking, but i just don't have the urge to verbally relate my daily life to everyone around me. I assume people would want to crawl under a rock, because as you said, it usually turns into blah, blah, blah.

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post #28 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-14-2016, 12:11 AM
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Re: People who talk a lot

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Same here. If I have something to talk about, I have no problem with talking, but i just don't have the urge to verbally relate my daily life to everyone around me. I assume people would want to crawl under a rock, because as you said, it usually turns into blah, blah, blah.
i joke that i live in an audio book because my kids do that ^ verbally relate their daily life to everyone around them.

i tolerate it from them bc they are little and they are mine, with the occasional freak out, hide in a closet, because they never stop talking.
from anyone else it would be a hard no.
More and more i relish the quiet.

Forget enough to get over it, remember enough so it doesn't happen again.
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post #29 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-14-2016, 09:24 AM
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post #30 of 31 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 06:21 PM
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Re: People who talk a lot

I'm definitely not a talker, and most of my friends are the same way. After about 30 minutes, we'll run out of things to say and just sit in silence until one of us thinks of something different.

My wife on the other hand, is a human run-on sentence... and it's usually about her family or people at her job. Once the conversation turns towards, "Nancy said..." I immediately tune out and start thinking of other things like errands that need to be run over the weekend or the yardwork.
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