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post #16 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 11:53 AM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

It's not a big deal to date someone that is 20 years younger that you. As stated, go out and date - have fun. Be fun. And eventually you'll find a gal you'll want to be with... maybe.

I'm 46, my wife (we want to re-marry) is 31. I'm a bit older -yes. But I'm playful and get on the floor with our toddler. I was 40 when I meet her @ 25. I had dated a 21yr old and a 36yr old weeks before I meet my future wife. I thought 36yr old hottie was good GF material, but not my circus - not my monkeys. The 21yr old was fun, great dancer and I could keep up with her. But my future wife felt more right, mature-ish and captured my heart.

A friend of mine is 65 years old and he STILL has dates/sex with women in their 20s. That's his thing - more power to him. He's not rich or handsome but is a charmer. He does have relations with women in their 30s~40s as well.

My wife's sister is 38, her husband was 71 when he died last year. She has been with him since she was 21 years old, so that puts him at 54yrs when they got married and about 20/53 when they dated.
My mom was in her early-mid 20s when her main boyfriend of her life was 55+ years old. She still thinks of him and she's 70 now.

My wife likes a large spectrum of music, even stuff from the 50s and 60s - much more than I do. We also go to hardcore/industrial concerts like Marylin Manson. Last year, which was the last time we went to a dance club - I'm still one of the top 15% dancing club-goers among people who are mostly age 22~35. I need to get back in shape thou, I gained weight from injuries last summer.


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post #17 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 12:21 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

I wouldn't advise going out with someone 20 years your junior with intent to marry. You are in two separate worlds with different ways of thinking about things. It would be difficult for you to agree on important things.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #18 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 12:28 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

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Originally Posted by blueinbr View Post
Say it's not so Guy. Once you're married the sex will stop.
Then I'll pack my sh&t and go home. I'm not scared of divorce. She and I are both on the same page with having intimacy on a daily basis. If she cheats or stops being the girl I married, I'll go find a new one. Sex/intmacy are a must.
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post #19 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 12:40 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

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Originally Posted by GuyInColorado View Post
Then I'll pack my sh&t and go home. I'm not scared of divorce. She and I are both on the same page with having intimacy on a daily basis. If she cheats or stops being the girl I married, I'll go find a new one. Sex/intmacy are a must.
There's no way she's going to have sex with you daily. She's only saying that because that's what you want to hear. I would be VERY careful of her.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #20 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 12:47 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

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Just a word of caution. I had a friend who had the same idea and married a much younger girl to have kids. She had twins. He never got a chance to retire. The other problem is that when you are an old man, she will still be young. My sister divorced her husband because of an 11 year age difference. I know that at 65 I am not even close to the man I was at 55. A young women would kill me. Plus it is nice to have a wife who experienced l life as you did so that you do not have to fill her in on all the events she missed before she was born. Unless you are very rich, the odds are high that she will leave you when you are old and a drag on her life. I have seen this happen a few times but it is your life to do as you wish.
I've dated men who were 10+, 20+ and 40 years older. This rang true for me every time. Two of them extremely wealthy, the money made no difference. The "daddy' vibe always reared its head and the last thing a young woman wants is to be told what to do, how to do it etc. That being said, I valued all of these relationships and the wisdom these men shared. So in my experience, the older gentleman seeking younger women in their 20s ain't a good idea.

However the OP is interested in a woman in her 40s. I have no idea what the mindset of women in that age bracket are. Perhaps there may not be as big of a difference in lifestyle, interests etc. Although the age-child thing just doesn't seem right. I remember conversations with girlfriends back in high school about having parents 60+. Never seemed like a good idea, we'd pity the one girl who's mum was approaching 70. She was a robust walker but she still looked like she would drop dead at out PTAs. Said girl always looked uncomfortable bringing her around for school events.
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post #21 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 12:54 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

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Originally Posted by jb02157 View Post
There's no way she's going to have sex with you daily. She's only saying that because that's what you want to hear. I would be VERY careful of her.
jb, there ARE women out there who ARE HD and want to have sex daily. There are plenty of them here on TAM! There are other things in Guy's situation, I think, which are of more concern.

Sorry for the threadjack!

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post #22 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 01:12 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

My husband's ex friend is 11 years younger than he is.

At the time when they were supposed to be friends, she told him about the new guy that she was dating. Everything was wonderful about him....... except the fact that he was 40..... 11 years older than she was. Did she forget that her dear friend and one time suitor was also the same age?

She went on to date him for 2+ years. It was interesting how on his facebook wall after 2 years he announced that he had completed his divorce. Her response on his wall does not make clear whether she knew that he was still married while they were dating.

According to her, she was 50 pounds overweight at the tender age of 29. Despite the general environment in which young and overweight women are deemed "brave" when they claim that they don't care that they are overweight, she finally got around to losing some weight. (She still has a public page where she changes photos 2x a year.

Can't help but wonder whether she lost the weight because she was tired of only dating "older" men.
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post #23 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 01:45 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

My partner (I call him Real Estate) is 11 yrs older than myself. I had made a rule for myself that I wouldn't date anyone more than 5 yrs older than myself, but I met Real Estate, and we just clicked. The whole age rule went completely out the window.

Most of the time, the age difference isn't noticeable, and we completely forget about it. Or, I guess, he forgets that I'm that much younger than him? He has had to ask me, on more than one occasion, "How old are you, again?" and he always seems genuinely surprised at the answer, which I think is hilarious.

I'm more interested in whether I click with someone. I've gone out on dates with men a few years younger than me, men my age, men who are older. Real Estate is by far the biggest age gap. (My XH was 6 yrs older.) But I click far, far better with Real Estate than any man I've met since my divorce.

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post #24 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 02:12 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

OP.... if you want kids, then by schit you go for that. When you hear -you'll be 60 when they're

18- ever notice many times it comes from people who had five kids before they were 25 and regretted

it? Go after what you want and apologize to no Fing body.

You may think about dating women in their mid-30s who would entertain the thought of

another child, if they already have them. Plus the age gap would not be as wide.

But just date for now..... have fun... no expectations. But let it be known up front you desire

another child. If not you may date many who do not want any and you would be wasting your time.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #25 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:53 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

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Originally Posted by Chuck71 View Post
OP.... if you want kids, then by schit you go for that. When you hear -you'll be 60 when they're

18- ever notice many times it comes from people who had five kids before they were 25 and regretted

it? Go after what you want and apologize to no Fing body.

You may think about dating women in their mid-30s who would entertain the thought of

another child, if they already have them. Plus the age gap would not be as wide.

But just date for now..... have fun... no expectations. But let it be known up front you desire

another child. If not you may date many who do not want any and you would be wasting your time.

chuck, went out, had a good time, but no ****ing sparks what so ever, I mean attraction yes, but that whole connection, just wasn't happening. she was smart, pretty and funny, most guys would naw off a limb to date this chick. Had fun, got a little hot and heavy, but felt fake as ****. did meet a younger gal, shes in her early 20's, we click hard, but we are both standing at arms length , and we even talk about it, but neither one of us feel comfortable enough to make a move, both of us coming of unhappy times recently. I want to keep a eye on this one.

One take away though, from looking at the dating scene in general, jesus. so many **** heel ****ing people. Look I like sex and I am very physically aggressive about it, but for gods sake, don't just **** someone because they will get naked with ya, I mean, this woman, they all seem to have issues with bonding. That is actually the great appeal about younger women, they still haven;t ****ed themselves out of their pair bonding instincts and yes they are more fertile and yes I do want kids and **** whoever talks **** about it, I look ****ing 28-29 and I am just over 40. I will be looking this good for years to come if my father and grand father are any indicator.

I gotta tell you, its been 20yrs and the quality of people out there dating is ****ing ****, and it wasn't massively better 20 yrs ago but it had really gone to ****ing ****.

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post #26 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck71 View Post
OP.... if you want kids, then by schit you go for that. When you hear -you'll be 60 when they're

18- ever notice many times it comes from people who had five kids before they were 25 and regretted

it? Go after what you want and apologize to no Fing body.

You may think about dating women in their mid-30s who would entertain the thought of

another child, if they already have them. Plus the age gap would not be as wide.

But just date for now..... have fun... no expectations. But let it be known up front you desire

another child. If not you may date many who do not want any and you would be wasting your time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDor View Post
It's not a big deal to date someone that is 20 years younger that you. As stated, go out and date - have fun. Be fun. And eventually you'll find a gal you'll want to be with... maybe.

I'm 46, my wife (we want to re-marry) is 31. I'm a bit older -yes. But I'm playful and get on the floor with our toddler. I was 40 when I meet her @ 25. I had dated a 21yr old and a 36yr old weeks before I meet my future wife. I thought 36yr old hottie was good GF material, but not my circus - not my monkeys. The 21yr old was fun, great dancer and I could keep up with her. But my future wife felt more right, mature-ish and captured my heart.

A friend of mine is 65 years old and he STILL has dates/sex with women in their 20s. That's his thing - more power to him. He's not rich or handsome but is a charmer. He does have relations with women in their 30s~40s as well.

My wife's sister is 38, her husband was 71 when he died last year. She has been with him since she was 21 years old, so that puts him at 54yrs when they got married and about 20/53 when they dated.
My mom was in her early-mid 20s when her main boyfriend of her life was 55+ years old. She still thinks of him and she's 70 now.

My wife likes a large spectrum of music, even stuff from the 50s and 60s - much more than I do. We also go to hardcore/industrial concerts like Marylin Manson. Last year, which was the last time we went to a dance club - I'm still one of the top 15% dancing club-goers among people who are mostly age 22~35. I need to get back in shape thou, I gained weight from injuries last summer.


20 yrs of marriage, done, but bottom line, I am looking for that next love of my life and frankly, I don't really want to settle for less. I had a incredible connection with a younger gal this past weekend, we are trying to both work through it, but you know, it might just be it ain't the right time, still looking, gonna have some fun and if I really need to get laid, I will call a escort, I don't want entanglements with women I am not interested in being very serious with.
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post #27 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 08:42 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

Sometimes it does take several dates to see if there is a spark.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #28 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 09:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

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Sometimes it does take several dates to see if there is a spark.
Nah, I know one thing for sure, I know what I want, and she just didn't have it, not that she wasn;t attractive enough, but that she lacked key personality traits I like, I like warm,feminine, nurturing women, I don't like shreeky banshees, no matter how good they are in bed.
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post #29 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 09:22 AM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

UGH...... Now I would agree there

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #30 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 05:23 PM
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Re: Excited, first date in 20 yrs

Just enjoy yourself, and you will enjoy dating. If you put a lot of pressure on finding a certain type, etc...you won't have fun with it. You'll know you found someone to have a long term relationship with, when it all just flows.

''Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time.'' - Unknown
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