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post #136 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-10-2017, 10:22 AM
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Re: Other forums....

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Originally Posted by bandit.45 View Post
I don't know why I wander over there. It's like watching a soap opera... you know you shouldn't be taking interest in other peoples misery, but you can't help yourself but to go back and see how things are shaking out.

Schadenfreude....
Same here...from my perspective when I read the wayward section those in "R" seem to have simply got away with it and continue their need for attention by posting there..look at me what a good person I've become...I do believe one or two are now separated...I'd wager many dont make it long term or just learn to live with the misery.


“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard

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post #137 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-10-2017, 01:06 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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Originally Posted by threelittlestars View Post
So I rarely if EVER post at Loveshack, LS...but today i felt i needed to. There was a woman over there, A BS and she was practically holding her husbands hand through his affair, bending over backwards nice'ing him back thinking he would wake up at some point. I felt compelled to post... when i did i noticed it did not post right away and moderation was needed before approval. So i wait about an hour and find when it was posted there was heavy editing. I was not mean or harsh in those parts that were deleted! I was actually a little harsh in another part that was allowed to post. Anyway, Im not mad, but i am confused....to heavily edit peoples advice and opinions I feel is a disservice to the OP.

what do you all think? do any of you post at LS?
Loveshack's OM/OW board is very... eye-opening.

Moderation restricts those who oppose affairs too strongly.So WS's are free to be a lot more... honest.

If you read there, you kinda get the impression that a WS can never truly get over an AP, no matter how bad that AP was.Even with d-days and APs throwing them under the bus, the affair fog never seems to dissipate.

There are also people still in an active affairs that claim to love their spouses, but arrogantly admit they will never end their affairs willingly.
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post #138 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-10-2017, 08:32 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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Moderation restricts those who oppose affairs too strongly.So WS's are free to be a lot more... honest.

.
When WSs are unguarded their true colors shine in many cases. You get to see the attributes that made them stray in the first place. Many WSs even those in R do not take full responsiblity for their affair - on another site one was lamenting that several BSs pointed out to them that they too had experienced the same trials in their marriages but did not cheat...this WS actually posted a whiny entry about it...they chose to make themselves a victim...its always about them

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard
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post #139 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-11-2017, 08:12 AM
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Re: Other forums....

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Same here...from my perspective when I read the wayward section those in "R" seem to have simply got away with it and continue their need for attention by posting there..look at me what a good person I've become...I do believe one or two are now separated...I'd wager many dont make it long term or just learn to live with the misery.
Very true. I believe the latter - that most learn to live with it.

Most of these BS's willingly accept a diet of **** sandwiches for the rest of their lives, rather than move on without the cheater who consistently showed them ZERO regard or respect for months or years.

And sadly, SO many BS's actually brag that their cheating spouse now claims they now 'despise their affair partner.' Yeah, and I'm a 5'7" runway model. More like they regret getting CAUGHT and now they have to feed a line of bull**** to their BS's for the rest of their lives about how they 'hate' their prior affair partner or how 'bad' the sex was. Lying must be exhausting, but most cheaters are pros at it.

I just can't imagine hanging on so desperately to ANYONE who was so willing to throw me under the bus like that.
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post #140 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-11-2017, 09:22 AM
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Re: Other forums....

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Very true. I believe the latter - that most learn to live with it.

Most of these BS's willingly accept a diet of **** sandwiches for the rest of their lives, rather than move on without the cheater who consistently showed them ZERO regard or respect for months or years.

And sadly, SO many BS's actually brag that their cheating spouse now claims they now 'despise their affair partner.' Yeah, and I'm a 5'7" runway model. More like they regret getting CAUGHT and now they have to feed a line of bull**** to their BS's for the rest of their lives about how they 'hate' their prior affair partner or how 'bad' the sex was. Lying must be exhausting, but most cheaters are pros at it.

I just can't imagine hanging on so desperately to ANYONE who was so willing to throw me under the bus like that.
I've read cases where folks have a Ws who is a serial cheater, lied about their A for decades, etc...what is left to build with a person who will deceive you for YEARS if not DECADES..do they respect you? do you want to bet your future on them? I agree with you when I read the waywards in many cases you wonder if they are just sorry they got caught..also if you need to log into a website to tell the world how you are no longer a lying POS it shows me you still crave that attention from others...you crave external validation which is the reason you cheated in the first place..

That being said if a BS has all the pertinent facts about their serial cheating spouse or their spouse who had a LTA and they choose to R then I'm sorry I dont want to hear how you are still struggling years later - now the suffering you feel is on you and you need to figure out how to heal your WS isnt responsible for you...there comes a point where we all must ask ourselves in life - is this worth it?

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard
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post #141 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-11-2017, 11:32 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Other forums....

I think the original post i made about a specific BS, i was confused, and frustrated. But then i realize time and again that BS can have their own delusions. Their own ego to protect so they grasp at straws. Hope against hope that the WH is going to change. Their logic is flawed and fearful that having a back bone and an attitude that commands respect will somehow make them unlikeable.

I think in some cases the BS is more broken than the WS...Just not in the same way. There is NEVER any reason to cheat. NEVER.... but in the cases of these pandering, placating Betrayed spouses I get why the WH seems to lack respect for them. They have none for themself.
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post #142 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-11-2017, 05:24 PM
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Re: Other forums....

I've been posting on LS for years. The only thing I could complain about regarding moderators is that they suspend quickly for either accusing someone of being a troll OR getting to vicious with other posters. I've never noticed the slightest lean toward D or R from the moderators on that site.
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post #143 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 05:16 AM
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Re: Other forums....

YHGTBKM is a model case.

----
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post #144 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 10:46 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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YHGTBKM is a model case.
I don't believe the story.

Hmm, can I get banned here for calling out a troll on another site? I can't rightly report it...

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post #145 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 10:50 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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I don't believe the story.

.
Im not citing any specific case but sometimes you cant help but wonder with the more fantastic cases if they were simply written to incite people...and some are so awful and heartbreaking you wish they were fake....


“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard
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post #146 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 11:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Other forums....

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Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
I don't believe the story.

Hmm, can I get banned here for calling out a troll on another site? I can't rightly report it...

His case reminded me of Turntheothercheek.... Who SI just banned.

Yeah, I found it an interesting read. But I dont know or care if its a troll.... most of the time trolls are really obvious.
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post #147 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 01:35 PM
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Re: Other forums....

Quote:
Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
I don't believe the story.

Hmm, can I get banned here for calling out a troll on another site? I can't rightly report it...


This is one of the problems with SI ~ they ain't very attentive to details:

Quote:
Originally Posted by YHGTBKM
As I was older when we met and married I was already established and made her sign a prenuptial agreement that has me sitting sound financially in the event of divorce. My lawyer advised me that I would be responsible for any and all expenses incurred while she is on the trip. I have decided to cancel all the cards and empty the joint account, except her deposits less her spending of course.

On one hand, it's an outrageous story and it's got the earmarkings of the typical agenda fake fact pattern whereby tough betrayed husband doesn't want to reconcile because of his self-respect while also demonstrating that the wayward wife always begs for reconciliation when you "shock and awe" bust them.

On the other hand, I think "You Have Got To Be Kiddin' Me" might be real because this is how a big CEO type wayward husband that married his affair partner from his previous marriage might really behave when his much younger trophy wife inevitably steps out of line on him. She's more a possession to this guy than a wife. You can't truly love someone and react like he supposedly has. His love for his daughter will probably be real enough for him to still consider reconciliation yet and all the passion of the affair she had with him the first time she met and snagged him while he was previously married will be used to rebuild their fake intimacy. Or ~ they'll just divorce as almost all marriages born of an affair inevitably do. They had a good 16 year run living the fantasy ~~ much more than most affairs get.


Beware the wrath of the entitled wayward when they inevitably become betrayed spouses themselves.

He supposedly travels a lot for work all the time while employing 1100 persons worldwide, as a admitted former wayward husband, what do you bet he's been cheating on her the whole time with a woman in several other ports???

I wish I could say everything in one word. I hate all the things that can happen between the beginning of a sentence and the end. ~ Leonard Cohen
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post #148 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Other forums....

Holy crap...I did not pick up on the fact his WW is his former mistress. Or the fact that he was a former wayward. Now that i see that...I agree...if it is real, he is quite a self entitled dude.

He may or may not be having affairs on his current wife, but he is being oddly finished. Turntheothercheek was turned inside out. But she still was hard balling. But i sensed the deep heartache and heart break from her.... Now that you mention it he does not seem to be acting anything else but bruised ego. Hmmmm....
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post #149 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 02:36 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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Holy crap...I did not pick up on the fact his WW is his former mistress. Or the fact that he was a former wayward. Now that i see that...I agree...if it is real, he is quite a self entitled dude.

.
the wayward section there is dripping with entitlement..ever read the waywards who go on to become MHs? They write as if they didnt cheat first...they post like they have only been BSs..it is quite the sight to behold...also a MH or a RA thread brings out the cheaters there like sharks to blood..ready to exclaim how unfair it is..but were perfectly willing to inflict an injustice on their BS and live with it..

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard
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post #150 of 222 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 02:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Other forums....

Holy crap...I did not pick up on the fact his WW is his former mistress. Or the fact that he was a former wayward. Now that i see that...I agree...if it is real, he is quite a self entitled dude.

He may or may not be having affairs on his current wife, but he is being oddly finished. Turntheothercheek was turned inside out. But she still was hard balling. But i sensed the deep heartache and heart break from her.... Now that you mention it he does not seem to be acting anything else but bruised ego. Hmmmm....
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