Re: Other forums....
Its like the ageless statement. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Infidelity and abuse can be applied to this. After you have found out about the abuse of infidelity you either do what you can to not consent to being treated that way or you do. If he lies, and (we the people) told you he was lying, or warn that this is not true Reconciliation etc, and you still chose to stay and have problems after problems you got to start taking responisbility at that point that YOU THE BS are now just allowing it. You consent to the abuse.... For many reasons.
I for one, am like that person who stayed (stays).
I dont want to thread jack my own post here, so i will just say this. A BS needs to do their OWN DIGGING into why they stay, if they can stay in a healthy way or not. There is no shame in staying unless you shed the victim role. Initially you are a victim of the WH spouse, but then you victimize yourself by staying time after time accepting lies after lies, D-day after d day. Why? Codependence? okay work on that. Fear? Okay, face fears! Money? Get a plan, job, family support etc.
BS, i think NEED to face fears at sometime in the recovery process. Otherwise the insecurity and problems are still there.
There is more rugsweeping than just the affair. BS rug sweep their own problems all the time here there, EVERYWHERE!