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post #76 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-16-2017, 01:13 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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Originally Posted by Truthseeker1 View Post
Ever read the wayward section and the things they have done? Serial cheaters, LTAs, all kinds of other issues and then they have the nerve to start "woe is me" threads about how tough their life is, or that their Bs is still not healed years later, or their Bs does not compliment them enough for not being a completely sh!tty person. Sometimes there is the "I am a WS hear me roar" thread about how far along they have come or their attempts to blame shift a bit to their BS. There are a bunch of regulars who cheer each other on, send virtual hugs and all that bullsh!t...it turns into a cheering section with some dutiful Bs clapping as well. I dont get it.

These people do really sh!tty things, wreck numerous lives and then sit there and whine about it. It is astounding to read.
Actually I never waste my time on that board.

I really believe a lot of the supposedly 'truly remorseful' posters there just post their remorseful bull**** so they can convince their BSs how much they've "progressed" and how they're now the "ideal spouse." I'm willing to bet most of their BS's either made them join SI or the WS joined and was sure to let the BS know their screen name so the BS could read everything they post. It's just another way for a WS to prove to the BS 'how hard they're working toward reconciliation' (a/k/a - sucking up to the BS to avoid taking that dreaded trip to divorce court.)

I actually don't read there due to my suspicion of a high content of phoniness.

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post #77 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-16-2017, 01:55 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
Actually I never waste my time on that board.

I really believe a lot of the supposedly 'truly remorseful' posters there just post their remorseful bull**** so they can convince their BSs how much they've "progressed" and how they're now the "ideal spouse." I'm willing to bet most of their BS's either made them join SI or the WS joined and was sure to let the BS know their screen name so the BS could read everything they post. It's just another way for a WS to prove to the BS 'how hard they're working toward reconciliation' (a/k/a - sucking up to the BS to avoid taking that dreaded trip to divorce court.)

I actually don't read there due to my suspicion of a high content of phoniness.
It is eye opening...when unguarded the "remorseful" WS show their selfishness and their self-centered mindset. The do whine about how hard their life is..but they blew it up so I have very little sympathy for those folks. To be honest there are several WSs here in R - and from the tone of their posts I dont get how their BS even considered R with them...

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard
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post #78 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 12:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Other forums....

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That's another thing I just don't get!

There are several long-time posters with a litany of crap their cheating dirt-bags pulled on them - over the course of years - all listed in their signatures. One poster's husband is a complete serial cheater and for years has screwed around with virtually anything with a heartbeat, he has TWO kids he had outside the marriage with two different OWs, and he had an affair with her own SISTER for 10+ years! And she's STILL with this POS loser, doling out advice to the newly betrayed. ROFL - yeah, that's someone I want to emulate.

Another poster has the same situation - a POS husband with years of serial cheating under his belt - with both women AND men - and not too long ago the scumbag pulled yet another dirty deed (I can't remember what it was but does it matter at this point?). And here she is ALSO doling out tough love to everyone. I laugh every time I see her telling a newly betrayed to demand this or that from their cheater and to never settle and all this crap when she herself can't even choke up enough self respect to stop clinging to that POS she's still with.

It's extremely hard to take either one of them seriously at ALL.

Honestly I think those who have made the wrong decision are better equipped to advise people NOT to do this or that.

Don't nock the knowledge of those who fell down and ****ed up. They sometimes have THE BEST ADVICE.

Its not the point to emulate the advice giver. Just to acknowledge their path and why they may advise one way or another.

At least thats my perspective. I give better advice for what not to do because I lived it, many many times. lol
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post #79 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 01:18 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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Honestly I think those who have made the wrong decision are better equipped to advise people NOT to do this or that.

Don't nock the knowledge of those who fell down and ****ed up. They sometimes have THE BEST ADVICE.

Its not the point to emulate the advice giver. Just to acknowledge their path and why they may advise one way or another.

At least thats my perspective. I give better advice for what not to do because I lived it, many many times. lol
Dont you feel some forms at SI are WS enabling?

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard
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post #80 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 11:52 AM
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Re: Other forums....

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That forum for the most part is a cesspool. There are many waywards who post there even ones who are in R who do not seem remorseful.
It used to be more heavily attended by remorseful waywards when I was there. I still think it's a very good forum.
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post #81 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Other forums....

Oh yes I do think they are Very enabling on some posts. Honestly they are terribly inconsistent on their actions towards WS's. Sometimes they are totally enabling, and others they come down hard. I think their enabling is just a tactic to make a WS stick around. Maybe to get the message into them through subliminal methods. i have seen a variety of tactics there over the two years.

To keep them around I understand, but in the end I dont think they are helping. I think its better to burn the WS, keep them dysfunctional to the point that they burn the bridge of their marriage themself. I have seen many WS over at SI that TRY through the SI methods for years and they still drive their spouse away. Almost better to stay dysfunctional till the marriage is over. So the BS is not waiting HOPING that they get it.

But people will keep on hoping. :/
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post #82 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 12:38 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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It used to be more heavily attended by remorseful waywards when I was there. I still think it's a very good forum.
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Oh yes I do think they are Very enabling on some posts. Honestly they are terribly inconsistent on their actions towards WS's. Sometimes they are totally enabling, and others they come down hard. I think their enabling is just a tactic to make a WS stick around. Maybe to get the message into them through subliminal methods. i have seen a variety of tactics there over the two years.

To keep them around I understand, but in the end I dont think they are helping. I think its better to burn the WS, keep them dysfunctional to the point that they burn the bridge of their marriage themself. I have seen many WS over at SI that TRY through the SI methods for years and they still drive their spouse away. Almost better to stay dysfunctional till the marriage is over. So the BS is not waiting HOPING that they get it.

But people will keep on hoping. :/
There is a lot of cheer leading there..it is not uncommon at all...and their writings can be eye opening...

These folks torment their BSs by cheating and then complain when they get called bad names? Thats it? give me a break. I have seen threads whining about how its unfair and mean to get called names after you get caught shagging someone else..and these folks go unchallenged for the most part because if you do challenge them that can get you banned...I'm not sure what is worse that or the BSs who chime in to be their cheering section...

I've also seen WWs chime in there to chastise a BH..that takes a lot of nerve to do so....those ladies dont seem remorseful as much as they got away with it..

One wayward there had 2 affairs on her spouse and then proclaimed if he cheated it would be over..a bit hypocritical dont you think?

The WSs there have done some pretty heinous things and then are shocked when their marriage isnt healing. Its that not difficult to figure out why. SMH.

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard

Last edited by Truthseeker1; 04-18-2017 at 12:52 PM.
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post #83 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 12:28 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Other forums....

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There is a lot of cheer leading there..it is not uncommon at all...and their writings can be eye opening...

These folks torment their BSs by cheating and then complain when they get called bad names? Thats it? give me a break. I have seen threads whining about how its unfair and mean to get called names after you get caught shagging someone else..and these folks go unchallenged for the most part because if you do challenge them that can get you banned...I'm not sure what is worse that or the BSs who chime in to be their cheering section...

I've also seen WWs chime in there to chastise a BH..that takes a lot of nerve to do so....those ladies dont seem remorseful as much as they got away with it..

One wayward there had 2 affairs on her spouse and then proclaimed if he cheated it would be over..a bit hypocritical dont you think?

The WSs there have done some pretty heinous things and then are shocked when their marriage isnt healing. Its that not difficult to figure out why. SMH.
I agree. What bugs me is a madhatter recently over at SI saying that his affair is not worse than hers, and he is a better person than she was.That his actions are not toxic they are just an extension of her initial cheating actions. No responsibility, just righteous pleasure at his cruelty. But no he sure as hell wont confess his actions. grrrr. that guys post got me so mad I had to take a mile walk just to cool off. I should thank him, i needed the exercise.
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post #84 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 12:35 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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I agree. What bugs me is a madhatter recently over at SI saying that his affair is not worse than hers, and he is a better person than she was.That his actions are not toxic they are just an extension of her initial cheating actions. No responsibility, just righteous pleasure at his cruelty. But no he sure as hell wont confess his actions. grrrr. that guys post got me so mad I had to take a mile walk just to cool off. I should thank him, i needed the exercise.
I know that thread but read the initial post at SI again..it does not seem real at all..he is doing that to bait the folks who post there...if you reread it - look at the details he includes...they are meant to incite other people and its working well...

That section is a cesspool of messed up people...I just shake my head when I read it..i wont use specific screennames in an open forum but you know the waywards who repeatedly post there I think one get it..many there dont get it but got away with it...

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard
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post #85 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 02:08 PM
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Re: Other forums....

then why do you guys read over there? What are you getting from it?

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post #86 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 02:12 PM
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Re: Other forums....

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then why do you guys read over there? What are you getting from it?
when I do read there it is eye opening giving a glimpse into the mind of waywards..I dont read there a lot anymore (i follow a few threads) but when I do it is instructional..just because something annoys me doesn't necessarily mean its not useful...when they post in the Wayward section or the MH \thread you get so see the personality traits that come out when they go unchallenged and you can see what their flaws are that lead them to cheat...

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard
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post #87 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 02:14 PM
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Re: Other forums....

@katies - what did you find most useful about the site?

“But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.” ― Robert E. Howard

Last edited by Truthseeker1; 04-20-2017 at 02:23 PM.
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post #88 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 02:56 PM
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Re: Other forums....

After reading through this thread it got me curious about SI, so I've been reading it for a few days. Signed up to post today.

We'll see how long it takes me to get banned.
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post #89 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 04:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Other forums....

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After reading through this thread it got me curious about SI, so I've been reading it for a few days. Signed up to post today.

We'll see how long it takes me to get banned.

Maybe a few months.... I dont know. I was there four before banning.
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post #90 of 222 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 04:59 PM
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They held me accountable when I first showed up 7 years ago as a wayward spouse. They encouraged me to confess. I did.
No other place, IC or book told me it was solely my fault. They did.
Infidelity is not a symptom of a bad marriage, it's one broken person. That was me.
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