People can offend others without meaning to, so you may be right. It is hard to tell when we don't have the benefit of hearing each other's voices or seeing the faces of the TAM members we are conversing with.
I have stepped on toes without having that intention; I think most of us have. A friend of mine has just become engaged. I asked to see the ring and she made up an excuse. After the poor woman shared her serious (much worse than ours) financial problems, I realized that my assumption likely made her feel ashamed.
As for enjoying my non existent deck, we will love our balcony with the beautiful view of our city's skyline. Those who take shots at others for where they live are stupid.
DanF did not insult me, he just made a blanket statement based on his own life. I didn't like it and I don't think there is anything wrong with having that opinion. Sorry if you feel differently.
It would be like me assuming that every couple has a car, just because we do. Hello? Some couples can only afford to take transit. I live in the Iglooland version of NYC, complete with the same ridiculous housing costs.
I am GENTLY tip toeing in here to say this: I REALLY think what Dan was saying is not to write off homeownership based on your current situation and continue to pursue your hopes and dreams. I don't think he was saying "work hard" as if you aren't already. I know you work as well as going to school. That is beyond admirable, it really is.
Can I share my own experience? We rented for 10 years. We declared bankruptcy, had our only car repoed (and public transit was very difficult in a city that had virtually none then) and had the IRS garnish our wages. Aluminum cans weren't something to throw away and neither were anybody elses. Yes, we dumpster dove to find "money". We used to go to the "rich peoples" grocery store because they were so picky that meat and produce were put on clearance within a day or two and we could scoop up a roast that would feed us for days for $2.89.
I won't lie to you and say having money doesn't matter. I will however say that our connection, if you will, was stronger. We worked so hard to meet our goal and it was the two of us against the world. I will never forget the time in the grocery store when all the richey riches walked by a "giveaway". It was a ham. They couldn't be bothered to fill out the form but we did. He did and I did. We won the $15 ham and thought we had hit the lottery. We beamed, hugged and high fived and I haven't felt that sort of "us vs. them" in a long time. I am sure he feels the same way.
I won't patronize you and say "money doesn't mean much". That's crap and only uttered by those who have money. It's REALLY easy to say that when you are sitting pretty. When you aren't, it's just a slap in the face to your fears/worries/wants. When you rent, you want a house. When you worry about bills, you want a savings account. It is VERY real and I will not ever tell you otherwise. What I will tell you however is that I have no doubt, literally none that homeownership will happen for you. It won't happen this year or the next or the one after that, but it will happen. It will happen inside of 7 years.....I guarantee it. Why? You both want it. Not a question in my mind that you two will be "us against the world" and it WILL happen. Mark my words.
I am GENTLY tip toeing in here to say this: I REALLY think what Dan was saying is not to write off homeownership based on your current situation and continue to pursue your hopes and dreams. I don't think he was saying "work hard" as if you aren't already.TRBE, this subject has been put to bed. I will answer you concerns because I like you: He clearly stated that I was settling and the PM was horrible. I know you work as well as going to school. That is beyond admirable, it really is. Only part time with both, but thank you. I will take three courses next semester so I can get this done faster.
Can I share my own experience?NO! Joking. We rented for 10 years. We declared bankruptcy, had our only car repoed (and public transit was very difficult in a city that had virtually none then) and had the IRS garnish our wages. Aluminum cans weren't something to throw away and neither were anybody elses. Yes, we dumpster dove to find "money". We used to go to the "rich peoples" grocery store because they were so picky that meat and produce were put on clearance within a day or two and we could scoop up a roast that would feed us for days for $2.89.
I won't lie to you and say having money doesn't matter. I will however say that our connection, if you will, was stronger. We worked so hard to meet our goal and it was the two of us against the world. My husband's unemployment and my decision to go back to school strengthened our marriage before it began. I will never forget the time in the grocery store when all the richey riches walked by a "giveaway". It was a ham. They couldn't be bothered to fill out the form but we did. He did and I did. We won the $15 ham and thought we had hit the lottery. We beamed, hugged and high fived and I haven't felt that sort of "us vs. them" in a long time. I am sure he feels the same way. I just scored a fancy set of dishes, complete with tea pot and platter for $25.00 on Ebay. It was not preowned...NOTHING feels better than cutting corners. When my husband proposed to me, he mentioned that I understood "for richer or poorer" very well.
I won't patronize you and say "money doesn't mean much". That's crap and only uttered by those who have money. How I love you, TRBE.
It's REALLY easy to say that when you are sitting pretty. When you aren't, it's just a slap in the face to your fears/worries/wants. When you rent, you want a house.All I want is a condo. A house would be too much for a childfree couple, unless we had several pets. When you worry about bills, you want a savings account. It is VERY real and I will not ever tell you otherwise. What I will tell you however is that I have no doubt, literally none that homeownership will happen for you. It won't happen this year or the next or the one after that, but it will happen. It will happen inside of 7 years.....I guarantee it. Why? You both want it. Not a question in my mind that you two will be "us against the world" and it WILL happen. Mark my words.
Sometimes I wish we still rented! If something broke, we'd call our landlord to come fix it!
No you don't, because then you would be throwing money away.
On a happier note, our new place is much larger with more storage space. The landlords actually take care of the building and I can't wait to have my little herb garden on the "deck." *cough* balcony *cough*
No you don't, because then you would be throwing money away.
On a happier note, our new place is much larger with more storage space. The landlords actually take care of the building and I can't wait to have my little herb garden on the "deck." *cough* balcony *cough*
We're actually looking to buy now after 15 years of marriage. The market is right and I'll be providing the second income so we have more money. I've been super lucky in my field. So many choices so quick.
I spend my Sundays looking at houses but unsure if I want to commit. The thing about renting is you can always up and move. It's uncomplicated.
You can say renting is throwing money away but think about it like this...people in our area who bought houses 5 years ago are now foreclosing or doing short sales and their houses aren't worth what they were 5 years ago. The market is crazy.
It's a great time to buy. Sad thing is when we went to get pre-approved we didn't have credit because we own everything outright...zero debt. Now we have to go fha and have to show proof of payment of rent and utilities on time to get the mortgage. It never fails to amaze me how things that make perfect, logical sense to me aren't what everyone is doing.
We're thinking of purchasing a house that needs rehab with a 203k loan so that we can re-do it. So I'm thinking tubs now too.
We're totally not rich FYD and I LOVE yard sales and second hand shops. Value is absolutely in the person and not their bank role. No one will ever convince me otherwise. I could be happy anywhere as long as my family was safe and we had one another.
Relish what you have. You realize you have a lot.
On to gardens...husband got me an aerogarden from a thrift store but it needs a light and the pods. A year later and I'm still waiting for them. hahaha
When people used to tell me "Money doesn't mean much" I wanted to knock their teeth down their throat and say "Oh yeah? Then give me all of yours, you a-hole". It is a patronizing bs way of trying to make the "haves" make the "have nots" feel better and it is as thinly veiled as possible. I won't insult your intelligence by saying so.
I will say however, that no matter what, no matter how hard it is, no matter how much the odds are stacked against you.....it will happen if the two of you work together. Two brilliant minds will accomplish anything.
I shopped at thrift stores and yard sales when I was a young single. I want to leave the great deals for a welfare receipient or a student, since I am in a position to buy new clothes now.
Ebay and WalMart are amazing! When Wal Mart opened in Iglooland, it was as if the heavens opened for northern shoppers. Now Target is coming up here.
At the end of the day, we are not starving or homeless. My husband is very picky about the quality of his food so our groceries come from an expensive store. He loves meat that is traditionally raised and organic veggies.
We're actually looking to buy now after 15 years of marriage. The market is right and I'll be providing the second income so we have more money. I've been super lucky in my field. So many choices so quick.
I spend my Sundays looking at houses but unsure if I want to commit. The thing about renting is you can always up and move. It's uncomplicated.
You can say renting is throwing money away but think about it like this...people in our area who bought houses 5 years ago are now foreclosing or doing short sales and their houses aren't worth what they were 5 years ago. The market is crazy.
It's a great time to buy. Sad thing is when we went to get pre-approved we didn't have credit because we own everything outright...zero debt. Now we have to go fha and have to show proof of payment of rent and utilities on time to get the mortgage. It never fails to amaze me how things that make perfect, logical sense to me aren't what everyone is doing.
We're thinking of purchasing a house that needs rehab with a 203k loan so that we can re-do it. So I'm thinking tubs now too.
We're totally not rich FYD and I LOVE yard sales and second hand shops. Value is absolutely in the person and not their bank role. No one will ever convince me otherwise. I could be happy anywhere as long as my family was safe and we had one another.
Relish what you have. You realize you have a lot.
On to gardens...husband got me an aerogarden from a thrift store but it needs a light and the pods. A year later and I'm still waiting for them. hahaha
I should probably PM this to you but I want to caution those who want to buy about real estate. As you know, my parents were terrible human beings and that made for shrewd business people since taking from the poor didn't mean much to them. I barely listened to them when they spoke as my skin crawled but one piece of advice I never forgot......take the purchase price of the house and divide it by 100. THAT is what you will really be paying per month. So a $203k house will REALLY cost you $2,030 a month. That includes the P & I, the insurance, the taxes AND the upkeep. You HAVE to budget for that or you will get screwed.
I should probably PM this to you but I want to caution those who want to buy about real estate. As you know, my parents were terrible human beings and that made for shrewd business people since taking from the poor didn't mean much to them. I barely listened to them when they spoke as my skin crawled but one piece of advice I never forgot......take the purchase price of the house and divide it by 100. THAT is what you will really be paying per month. So a $203k house will REALLY cost you $2,030 a month. That includes the P & I, the insurance, the taxes AND the upkeep. You HAVE to budget for that or you will get screwed.
Yeah, I read you. 203K is the type of mortgage. It's an fha loan where you can add on expense for construction. It's not the price point we're looking in...haha. Property taxes in NJ are mad insane! They're almost equal to the cost of the mortgage. On a $350k house they're around $9k a year! We've saved and have a larger down payment so don't have to pay pmi but apparently there is insurance built into an fha. I don't know, it's all very confusing.
Truth is, I'd like to wait until I'm actually getting paid more than a stipend to purchase...till I've worked a year or two in an actual job and know I'll stay but I'm tied between interest rates and affording a house in our kids' school system. It's tricky stuff.
Sometimes I wish we still rented! If something broke, we'd call our landlord to come fix it!
I call my H Mr. Fix It as my oldest calls him... Of course when our HVAC goes out, we'll have to come off a pretty penny, but hopefully it's got several more years left.
10Likes
Re: Tub choices 
Didn't mean to make you sound like a dude.
Those who take shots at others for where they live are stupid.
