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Old 04-13-2012, 09:07 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Old is when your "Snap, Crackle and Pop" in the morning is your knees instead of your cereal.
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Old 04-13-2012, 09:24 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Old is when your "Snap, Crackle and Pop" in the morning is your knees instead of your cereal.
How true!
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Old 04-13-2012, 10:20 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Old is sitting down, and having your wife put on her makeup while leaning over and looking at her reflection in the top of your head.
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Old 04-13-2012, 03:56 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Old is actually considering how Depends fit and if they will make your azz look fat.
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Old 04-15-2012, 05:46 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Well, this isn't an 'old is when' joke.. but I give you (from an email given to me)....

SENIOR'S TEXTING CODES

Just in case you receive a text message from someone you least expect - So here are some codes for seniors:

I thought the following listing was appropriate... after all, the kids have all their little codes for texting...

like TMW, CU, BFF etc. So here are some codes for seniors:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:06 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Priceless^^
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:00 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Gonna drive over people at the Farmers' Market then through the front window of Publix. BRB
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:25 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Old is when you have to buy your first bottle of "stool softener"
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:17 AM   #39 (permalink)
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HA! Pidge! Or when you've had surgery, or a baby. Not just when old.

Old is having to increase the font on this website without my glasses.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:42 AM   #40 (permalink)
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EXACTLY my shy friend! Did you read my post about when I was on Ambien and took a black sharpie and drew all over my body? That started because we saw a show where a young girl with a flat stomach had a sun tattoo around her belly button. I laughed at what that tattoo is gonna look like after a couple of kids.

And the tramp stamps! What are those gonna look like in 20 years?
I, for one, cannot wait to be old and have my tattoos go all saggy I have done well with placement so far (the cartoon dragon on my hip got fatter as i did with pregnancy and now looks pleasantly plump now I'm skinny again lol).

By the time I get to that stage of bein all old and sagged out, I will look at young people with absolute glee when they point in disgust at the wrinkled lady with tatts

But, I must say... horizontal writing across boobs is just gravity waiting to happen.
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Old 04-15-2012, 03:22 PM   #41 (permalink)
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You're afraid to fart.
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Old 04-15-2012, 03:24 PM   #42 (permalink)
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You're afraid to fart.

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Old 04-15-2012, 03:25 PM   #43 (permalink)
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I remember these from a newsletter from my grandmother's group:

Remember when:

"Gay" meant happy
"Grass" was something that was your lawn
"Coke" was something you drank

and...

My grandma is having FOUR affairs- She woke up with Walter Cronkite, went for a walk with Arthur Ritis, came back with Charlie Horses, and went to sleep with Ben Gay!
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Old 04-16-2012, 05:36 PM   #44 (permalink)
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You actually like to look in the mirror now...

...you meet someone new everyday!
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Old 04-17-2012, 02:17 AM   #45 (permalink)
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NEVER TRUST A FART.....

Old is . . . wondering where those long hairs came from on your chin.

Old is . . . being able to slam Metamucil like you used to slam beers.
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