Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,860
Camping story
LFFA’s comment in another thread about chiggers being the reason she doesn’t go camping reminded me of a cute story. I HATE chiggers, but we don’t have them in the places where I’ve lived the last few years. When we go camping, we have to worry about bears, but I’d much rather deal with bears than chiggers.
Anyway, many of our friends are immigrants from my wife’s country, and a lot of them want to get out and experience the American outdoors, but often they don’t know where or how. We had friends like this when we lived in the Bay Area. When we talked about it, they wanted to go camping with us in Yosemite National Park.
If you’ve never been camping in the Sierra Nevadas, there are bear warning signs everywhere around the campgrounds. Our friends have a little girl who was, at that time, 7 years old, and she was just as chatty as you would expect a 7 year old girl to be. She took in all of those bear warnings and asked me about them continuously on the night we arrived. Every time she asked if I thought we’d see a bear, I’d answer, “I sure hope so,” and tell her how exciting I thought it was to see a bear in the wild.
The next morning, my wife did her normal camping morning of fixing a hearty hot breakfast along with our friends. While they did this, I hiked back in the woods a little distance, and found a little meadow that was just a sea of wildflowers in full bloom. I thought my wife and son would like to see this, so after breakfast, and before we departed for our main activity of the day, my wife and son walked back with me to see this. Our friend’s little girl wanted to go, too, and of course that was okay with us. She walked just a couple of steps behind me on the trail and chattered incessantly, having all those bear warning signs, and a few American idioms (that I promise she didn’t hear from me) on her mind. The conversation went something like this (Note: Ajoshi (ah-juh-she) is a respectful term for a man my age. Her parents insist she show me respect according to their tradition):
Little Girl: Ajoshi, does a bear poo in the woods?
Me (dropping my head and chuckling): That’s what I hear.
Little Girl: But you know what, Ajoshi? I think a bear can poo anywhere he wants to.
Me: I think you’re right. I mean, who’s gonna argue with him?
Little Girl: Yeah. Not me … Ajoshi, if a bear really needed to poo, really , really , really bad, but he was really, really, really hungry, would he eat first? Or would he stop to poo first and then eat?
Me (Smiling at the wheels I can hear turning in her head): Now that’s a really, really, really good question. What do you think he would do?
Little Girl (Thoughtfully): Well, I think he would kill a deer first, and then stop to poo before he ate it, but he wouldn’t poo right beside where he was going to eat ‘cause that’s just gross!
And on and on the chatter went about bears and poo. When we got to the meadow, her chatter shifted to Bambi, Thumper, and how the meadow was a dangerous place. When we got ready to walk back, she suddenly thought it would be a good idea to get a hand full of those wildflowers for her mom, so my wife and son went on ahead while I waited for our friend’s daughter to gather her flowers. All was going well until, on the way back, she spotted a pile of crap a few feet to the side of the trail.
Little Girl: Ajoshi, do you think a bear did that?
Me: Hmm. Well, it’s big enough. I guess it could have been a bear.
And the bear and poo chatter picked back up as we walked back.
Somewhere along here, I had a gas cramp. In the outdoors, you normally think nothing of just letting it rip, but this time, with our friends’ daughter walking behind me, I was glad that I let it slip completely silently, and I didn’t think anything about it until about three steps later when:
Little Girl (In an honestly alarmed whisper): Ajoshi!
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Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
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Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,860
Re: Camping story
Thank you. . I can understand the excitement. We really like it. We're trying to plan where we're going this summer. Our plans aren't set, but I'm pretty sure it won't be anyplace with chiggers.
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Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
Oh God I hate chiggers! They're all over Texas in the summer time and you just have to know about them growing up or suffer. I'd still take chiggers over bed bugs any day!
When our kids were young, I took my family camping on a small island. On one side, facing the mainland, it was marshy but was a great place to photograph wildlife. I was taking my son through a trail, and he suddenly had to go. Stinging in the bushes, I realized that my legs were suddenly itching intensley. Thousands of chiggers. Thankfully, my wife came prepared with the chemicals we needed to get rid of them before my son lost it.
My brother and I were camping once in Montana, near Glacier. We took a hike to a valley for fishing. On the way, a young guy ran past us, heading in the opposite direction, screaming frantically, "Bear .... Bear ...." Of course, we turned and followed the guy, also running frantically. I have a fused ankle, so my brother kept slowing down to help me along. I noticed that my prother was digging frantically into his back every chance he got. We could hear a bear growling and huffing. My brother started pulling ham out of his pack, throwing it behind, then granola bars and everything in his pack. We reached a plateau, with a really steep boulder cliff to the side, and never saw the bear, so we assumed that he stopped for the ham. We waited a couple of hours, and decided to go back to the campsite (where his truck was parked), and hiked a few miles. Didn't realize that he had thrown his keys also, in his urgency. By the time we got back to the campsite, with the keys, it was 30 degrees, and after midnight.
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,860
Re: Camping story
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halien
When our kids were young, I took my family camping on a small island. On one side, facing the mainland, it was marshy but was a great place to photograph wildlife. I was taking my son through a trail, and he suddenly had to go. Stinging in the bushes, I realized that my legs were suddenly itching intensley. Thousands of chiggers. Thankfully, my wife came prepared with the chemicals we needed to get rid of them before my son lost it.
My brother and I were camping once in Montana, near Glacier. We took a hike to a valley for fishing. On the way, a young guy ran past us, heading in the opposite direction, screaming frantically, "Bear .... Bear ...." Of course, we turned and followed the guy, also running frantically. I have a fused ankle, so my brother kept slowing down to help me along. I noticed that my prother was digging frantically into his back every chance he got. We could hear a bear growling and huffing. My brother started pulling ham out of his pack, throwing it behind, then granola bars and everything in his pack. We reached a plateau, with a really steep boulder cliff to the side, and never saw the bear, so we assumed that he stopped for the ham. We waited a couple of hours, and decided to go back to the campsite (where his truck was parked), and hiked a few miles. Didn't realize that he had thrown his keys also, in his urgency. By the time we got back to the campsite, with the keys, it was 30 degrees, and after midnight.
I LOVE the keys story! That's the kind of story that becomes family legend after a few tellings. It probably gets even better if a couple of beers are involved in the retelling.
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Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,860
Re: Camping story
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFrogFlyAway
Love that story, shy guy. LOL It illustrates why I LOVE kids. A grown-up would have been too grown-up to say something like that, but a kid just lets her rip (so to speak)
Chiggers are not the only reason LadyFrog detests camping. Let's see, there's flies, beetles, roaches, centipedes, millipedes, mosquitos, ants, fleas, lice, toothless drunks, woodsmoke (gives me a headache) cold weather, ( I hate being cold), burned hot dogs, gray oatmeal, no running water, hard ground, dust, dirt, dirty camping equipment, wind, bears, cougars, ect. And that's just to name a few.
Don't even get me started on port-a-potties.
All my friends try to get me to go camping because "I don't know what I'm missing." I do know what I'm missing, thank you very much. That's why I won't go.
I can step out my front door and sit in my beautiful 1930's French bistro patio set, watch the sky and the sunrise and drink hot coffee, enjoying the mental luxury of knowing there is a real working toilet just yards away.
I'll go to the lake for the day or something. As long as I know I'll be at home that night I'm great. I don't like to disturb insects. They were there first.
Snakes! Don't forget snakes, ya little wimp .
It's definitely a "different strokes for different folks" deal. Part of it depends on where you camp, too. In the midwest and eastern part of the US, my experience has been a lot like what you describe with the bugs. National parks these days have running water available to you at the campgrounds, and some of the state parks or private campgrounds (along the west coast at least) even have shower. Now, it's worthwhile when finding a campground with a shower to ask whether or not there is hot water in that shower. There are almost no bugs in the campgrounds in the Sierras or along the coast. For that matter, even camping up in Washington or British Columbia in the Great Northwestern Rainforest, we haven't had any bug problems - not even mosquitos on the level that you find in the east and midwest. In CA, there just aren't any mosquitos. Anywhere along the west coast you don't have chiggers, and I don't remember ever getting a tick anywhere in the western states.
Cougars ... well, I guess they're in the campgrounds like everywhere else you go, but they usually stay in their own tent unless invited into yours. Thinking again ... maybe if you bring your own, that can be the solution to the "cold" problem you were mentioning.
The food you mentioned is how we camped when I was a boy. With my wife, it is different, and this is part of why I never expected her to like camping. When she comes camping, we eat WELL. She brings along a couple of little portable stoves like this: Camp Stove products, buy Camp Stove products from alibaba.com And she sings and has a good time while cooking outdoors ... and I'm talking GOOD food - especially the breakfasts the morning before a hike.
But of course (Understand here, I'm getting a feeling of dread before typing this next line just because I remember who I'm talking to ... ) it's mandatory to roast weenies at least once when you go camping. I think maybe you can go to jail for not doing that. You also need to roast some marshmallows when you do that and remember the two cardinal rules of roasting marshmallows: 1) If it did't catch fire, it's not done. 2) If it's not completely black on the outside, put it back in the fire until it is. Of course, this involves some wood smoke (unless you can find some buffalo chips that are more to your liking ).
These days, you can bring an air mattress. Not only are they much more comfortable, but they're much lighter to carry. Zip your sleeping bag together with your spouse's sleeping bag and put another blanket over the top, and you can keep each other warm. (Be careful how much much warmth you generate, though. Tents aren't the least bit sound proof ... )
Camping in places like the Sierra or Cascade mountain ranges ... when the sun disappears, so does the mercury in the thermometer. Yep, you need to plan for a chilly night.
I know you're not convinced, though. I wasn't trying to convince you really ... I'll have to take a few minutes when I get a chance to tell you what we do that makes it so enjoyable.
EDIT: I haven't seen portapots in the national parks. In the campgrounds, they have full toilet facilities. But about 25 years ago, I was took a hike in Yosemite and came across a "composting toilet." There was a sign there giving all the environmental benefits of this "composting toilet" and explaining whey it was built. I had to laugh and think to myself, "Only in California would they build an outhouse and call it progress." I haven't seen any composting toilets in a LONG time.
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Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
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~~~ SW ~~~
~ A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you". Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"...She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine.
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~~~ SW ~~~
~ A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you". Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"...She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine.
it's mandatory to roast weenies at least once when you go camping. I think maybe you can go to jail for not doing that. You also need to roast some marshmallows when you do that and remember the two cardinal rules of roasting marshmallows: 1) If it did't catch fire, it's not done. 2) If it's not completely black on the outside, put it back in the fire until it is.
__________________
~~~ SW ~~~
~ A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you". Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"...She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine.
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Camping story 
There are almost no bugs in the campgrounds in the Sierras or along the coast. For that matter, even camping up in Washington or British Columbia in the Great Northwestern Rainforest, we haven't had any bug problems - not even mosquitos on the level that you find in the east and midwest. In CA, there just aren't any mosquitos. Anywhere along the west coast you don't have chiggers, and I don't remember ever getting a tick anywhere in the western states.
Thinking again ... maybe if you bring your own, that can be the solution to the "cold" problem you were mentioning. 
). 
Then staying at a cottage for 2 nights! Cannot wait - NO KIDS! 
