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Old 05-04-2012, 10:17 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

Quote:
Originally Posted by MominMayberry View Post
Not sure what you are saying. I think advice should change based on story.
Maybe so but have you ever considered that many stories are quite similar in circumstances? Therefore similar advice is likely to be given.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:20 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

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Originally Posted by Entropy3000 View Post
I know. Don't sweat it.

I am a promiscuous liker.
Still dont under stand but English isnt my first language. Any ways my friend liked you and thought you nice. I dont mind your responses as you read what is written. I wish more were like you.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:28 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

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Originally Posted by Entropy3000 View Post
I know. Don't sweat it.

I am a promiscuous liker.
Ya whooaahh! (insert Boston accent) LOL!
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:29 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

Here is a template:

I have been married to the most wonderful woman in the world for the past 10 years. We have two amazing children 7 and 5. We live in a great home but I have been having to work extra hours to make ends meet. She is a SAHM.

My wife indicated to me about six months ago that she loved me but was no longer in love with me. I am sure I have been neglecting her and I have tried to step up helping her with household chores. Letting her go out with her friends to let off some steam while I watch the kids. I would like to go out with her but she says she needs some space right now to figure things out. She feels confused and that she needs to find herself. I know she loves to dance. I hate to dance. But she has been coming home later and later and last week stayed over her freinds house because she had too much to drink.

She spends a lot of time on FB and texting. She always has her phone with her. She recently went on a cross country trip to her H.S. reunion. I know she had been friending a lot of her H.S. classmates leading up to that so that they could make plans. I wanted to go but she insisted I would be a third wheel. She wanted some quality time with her friends. besides I needed to stay home for the kids.

I did a horrible thing. I am so ashamed. I looked at her FB and emails and my heart was crushed. I know I am wrong. I broke her trust and invaded her privacy. It turns out that while she was gone that week for her reunion she stayed at her ex boy friends house. I trust my wife 100% so I know she would never chate on me. But she never told meanout this. I hope she can forgive me for reading her private stuff. The messages are very confusing and if I was not a trusitng guy I would say she is having an affair. This guy was visiting last week when she stayed over her freinds house. It looks like she spent some time with him.

Anyway this is eating at me and I feel I need to come clean to her about my betrayal and just hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me. her friends keep telling her I am jealous, insecure and very controlling. That really hurts me because marriage is based on trust. I know I can do better to meet her needs. If she will only give me another chance.

What should I do?


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Last edited by Entropy3000; 05-04-2012 at 10:34 PM.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:39 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

MominMayberry -

What Entropy means by "few likes" is that he is skeptical of those people (who only have or give few likes) to provide good advice or who may not appreciate the good advice given to them. (Entropy - jump in and correct me if I'm off base)

2nd_Times means that sometimes different advice may be given to a poster who has the same or similar story as another poster. I think that when it happens it is the result of the attitude of the poster receiving the advice rather than the story itself. (hence my "can't fix stupid or really, really stupid" comment)

Last edited by LaxUF; 05-04-2012 at 10:45 PM.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:43 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

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Originally Posted by MominMayberry View Post
Still dont under stand but English isnt my first language. Any ways my friend liked you and thought you nice. I dont mind your responses as you read what is written. I wish more were like you.
Mom. Don't mind me, I know I can be a PITA. Pain In The A$$.

Anyway, I do struggle with the knowledge that everyones situation is at least a little different from the next person. So on the one hand everyone is different. But we do see some patterns that keep recurring.

So we have to balance these things. I think we get there collectively. Meaning I am a believer in diversity. An aggregate message does get put to the posters. We don't always agree but that is actually a strength. The posters get a variety of views. Some of my favorite people have been folks who debate with me and make me rethink things. I like that. I can't grow otherwise. Bright Eyes, I am missing you.

Yes many of us hammer home the same things time and again. But you know what ... that is a good thing.

I never try to tell anyone how to "snoop" for example. Not my area at all. We have real experts at it here. They come by it the hard way. I have never had to snoop on my wife. There is a collective experience here.

So in all sincerity I think we as a group tend to tag team things. We play good cop, bad cop and crazy cop with them. They get to choose.

I get the premise of your thread. And yes you are correct. We should be aware that one size does not fit all. Good point.

For the most part I think regulars on this forum are fundamentally good folks who mean well. Everyone brings something special to the table. I have learned a lot here and have been able to use it in my marriage and for that I am sincerely eternally grateful.
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Last edited by Entropy3000; 05-04-2012 at 10:49 PM.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:46 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

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We play good cop, bad cop and crazy cop with them. They get to choose.
I would throw myself in the CRAZY cop category!!!
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:47 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

If I had a nickel for everytime I told someone on TAM that their spouse may have Borderline Personality Disorder, or told them to re-read their own post to find the answers the seek, or pleaded with them NOT to have kids with that person . . . . . .

I WOULD HAVE A SH!TLOAD OF NICKELS!!!!!
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:49 PM   #24 (permalink)
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If I had a nickel for everytime I told someone on TAM that their spouse may have Borderline Personality Disorder, or told them to re-read their own post to find the answers the seek, or pleaded with them NOT to have kids with that person . . . . . .

I WOULD HAVE A SH!TLOAD OF NICKELS!!!!!
That made both hubby and I lol
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:57 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

Sometimes, I wish it would work like programming where you really do not want to repeat any code, so you write it with functions to reuse the same code from many different places - just plug in a few different parameters.

We need to define a few functional responses, and when someone comes with certain questions, we just redirect them to those functional responses. It'll save us a lot of typing, and ensure a lot more consistency.
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:02 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

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Originally Posted by shy_guy View Post
Sometimes, I wish it would work like programming where you really do not want to repeat any code, so you write it with functions to reuse the same code from many different places - just plug in a few different parameters.

We need to define a few functional responses, and when someone comes with certain questions, we just redirect them to those functional responses. It'll save us a lot of typing, and ensure a lot more consistency.
Damnit! That kind of sexy talk is reserved for the other board which shall not be named. It is well known that I have a weakness for geek speak even when I have no freakin clue what the hell it is that is being said.
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:03 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

Quote:
Originally Posted by shy_guy View Post
Sometimes, I wish it would work like programming where you really do not want to repeat any code, so you write it with functions to reuse the same code from many different places - just plug in a few different parameters.

We need to define a few functional responses, and when someone comes with certain questions, we just redirect them to those functional responses. It'll save us a lot of typing, and ensure a lot more consistency.
I was thinking the same thing. We need an artificial intelligent engine to disect the post. They have stuff like this for resumes.

Then they could have the appropriate posters reply programmatically with their usual stuff.

In fact ... wait a minute.

Are you guys just a computer program? if this gets me Banned I know I am right.

Kinda like the Thirteenth Floor. A simulation.
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:08 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

Quote:
Originally Posted by Entropy3000 View Post
Here is a template:

I have been married to the most wonderful woman in the world for the past 10 years. We have two amazing children 7 and 5. We live in a great home but I have been having to work extra hours to make ends meet. She is a SAHM.

My wife indicated to me about six months ago that she loved me but was no longer in love with me. I am sure I have been neglecting her and I have tried to step up helping her with household chores. Letting her go out with her friends to let off some steam while I watch the kids. I would like to go out with her but she says she needs some space right now to figure things out. She feels confused and that she needs to find herself. I know she loves to dance. I hate to dance. But she has been coming home later and later and last week stayed over her freinds house because she had too much to drink.

She spends a lot of time on FB and texting. She always has her phone with her. She recently went on a cross country trip to her H.S. reunion. I know she had been friending a lot of her H.S. classmates leading up to that so that they could make plans.

I did a horrible thing. I am so ashamed. I looked at her FB and emails and my heart was crushed. I know I am wrong. I broke her trust and invaded her privacy. It turns out that while she was gone that week for her reunion she stayed at her ex boy friends house. I trust my wife 100% so I know she would never chate on me. But she never told meanout this. I hope she can forgive me for reading her private stuff. The messages are very confusing and if I was not a trusitng guy I would say she is having an affair. This guy was visiting last week when she stayed over her freinds house. It looks like she spent some time with him.

Anyway this is eating at me and I feel I need to come clean to her about my betrayal and just hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me. I know I can do better to meet her needs.

What should I do?


If what you wrote was true, cheating sure! I love you not in love with you doesnt mean cheating though. Some women get sick of being a mother to a man. I do.
Can I write another? I do every thing, I work all day she does nothing. At home I bathe, cook, clean take care of kids. I cut grass and take care of cars. I cut down trees to make own roof and after giving her manicure, back rub and 10 orgasms I repaint the Sistine Chapel. She does nothing but scream at me. Advice? Stop being doormat. Advice should be stop living in fantasy land.
Maybe I need a pause here.

Last edited by MominMayberry; 05-04-2012 at 11:13 PM.
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:08 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

Quote:
Originally Posted by shy_guy View Post
Sometimes, I wish it would work like programming where you really do not want to repeat any code, so you write it with functions to reuse the same code from many different places - just plug in a few different parameters.

We need to define a few functional responses, and when someone comes with certain questions, we just redirect them to those functional responses. It'll save us a lot of typing, and ensure a lot more consistency.

I just can't ESCAPE the computer talk!!! You sound like my hubby lmfao. Do you post up random numbers and letters(Code from what he has told me) on pm's as well?
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:10 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: Typical TAM responses

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaxUF View Post
MominMayberry -

What Entropy means by "few likes" is that he is skeptical of those people (who only have or give few likes) to provide good advice or who may not appreciate the good advice given to them. (Entropy - jump in and correct me if I'm off base)

2nd_Times means that sometimes different advice may be given to a poster who has the same or similar story as another poster. I think that when it happens it is the result of the attitude of the poster receiving the advice rather than the story itself. (hence my "can't fix stupid or really, really stupid" comment)
Thank you for this. It makes sense.
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