Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,863
Stages of a man's head
I like laughing at myself more than anybody, so if I can find something to laugh about, I will ...
When I was in HS, I had a lot of hair. I'm talking a LOT of hair. I let it grow out over my ears and down over my collar, but my hair was SO THICK that I could never control it. I ran track and cross country and remember it going "frump frump" over my ears with every step. Who knows how much time I could have trimmed off if I had gotten a haircut.
All that volume of hair, and it was always unruly. My daughters find my old HS yearbook every chance they get and find a picture of me in the back of a pickup. I had the typical runner's build, and that big head of hair caught in the wind. They said I looked like a singed dandelion ... the bad part is that I agree with them.
That all ended temporarily when I went to visit the military hair-stylist on the first day of in-processing. The volume problem came back, though because that basic training haircut isn't required after boot camp. The problem was that any time I tried to put my hair in a style that was appropriate for the day, I ran up against that 1 1/4 inch "bulk" rule. My hair always pushed that limit.
About 15 years after HS. I was standing and working and looked up. There was a security monitor there and I saw someone from behind. I thought to myself, "Who is that bald dude?" When I moved, I did a double take with the monitor. That bald dude was ME! I had that spot developing on the crown of my head.
My daughters discovered it almost immediately. Someone should tell them that it's a HUGE insult to pat a man on his bald spot. I would have told them myself, except I recognized my attitude in them, so I knew if I told them, that activity would double. That would have been more humiliation than a man can take from his daughters.
No combovers for me, and I refused to even acknowledge that whiny, nazaly voice that came on the radio saying, "Is hair loss affecting your self confidence?" My wife took the initiative and started giving me short haircuts. Some habits die hard, though, so I still carried that big rake of a comb I had to use in HS. My younger daughter knew I carried it, so she always asked to borrow my comb when we were out and she needed to primp. One day, when she handed it back to me, she said, "Why do you even carry a comb anyway?" Heh. I fixed her ... I stopped ... borrow my comb and then insult me will you? ... HA!
My wife was always really nice about it ... until that day we were sitting together listening to that lady motivational speaker who told the women who loved their husband's full head of hair, "One morning, you're going to wake up, and discover you can put on your makeup by looking at your reflection in your husband's head." ... Okay, honey, I caught that little glimpse out of the corner of your eye! ... Don't you get near my head in the morning!
Okay, it wasn't slick, but it was definitely thinning on top. What is it with us? After a certain age, the only place that WON'T grow hair is the top of our heads?!!
In my job, now, our team is literally worldwide. We have teleconferences regularly, and table cameras are always a part of that. I often wore a hat, but when I was talking, and the camera turned toward me, I realized the bill of my hat shaded me so that nobody could see my face - it was just an eerie looking shadow. When I saw this in my computer monitor, I removed my hat and ... the reflection off of the front of my head shined enough that nobody could see my face ... well, given that choice, I just put my hat back on.
I warmed up to it eventually. One morning, my wife caught me still sitting, and kissed me right about where my hairline used to be ... now which hairline, I'm not quite sure since I've had several ... but I'm sure I used to have a hairline there. I knew she had just put her lipstick on, so I knew I had a big kiss mark where she planted it. Well, I can be a good sport, so I pretended I didn't know that. You should have seen the horrified look on my son's face all through breakfast.
Eventually, he said, "Dad, you have a kiss mark on your head."
"I know," I answered.
"Aren't you going to wipe it off?"
"Nah. I've decided I kinda like it there."
At this point, I could see my wife's face light up a bit. I left the house with it in place, but I didn't arrive at the office with it in place ... I'm not yet THAT comfortable with it. Who do you think I am? Telly Savalas?
I actually didn't mind the slick look. My younger brother did it long before I did. I thought it looked okay on him ... made him look like a Hell's Angel at worst, and that wasn't really a bad look for him. I'm not much of the Hell's Angels type myself, but I thought I could have done it.
I would've gone slick a lot sooner if it weren't for my history. You see, Tim Taylor has nothing on me in the head injury department. I've had at least a half dozen times of lying in the emergency room while someone stitched my head. One time, I just jumped to catch the crane controls, and the next thing I knew, someone was stitching my head. The guys I worked with had stories about noises, drooling, walking while I looked drunk, eyes rolling back , and talking without making any words anybody could understand ... but they don't have pictures and I don't remember, so as far as I'm concerned, I jumped straight into the emergency room. After all of these incidents, I was just certain that if I went completely slick, I was going to be uncovering a lot of history that would be better left buried ... but the covering that buried it soon eroded enough I decided it couldn't be effectively hiding anything anymore.
I was rather happy with how I looked when I shaved my head. I did the mirror from front and back ... couldn't find any of the scars I was sure would be uncovered. I even had my wife search for them. She's not admitting to seeing any scars up there ... but she's found another thing ... Sometimes, she wakes up deep in the night when I'm asleep. I didn't believe her before when she would tell me that. I believe her now.
You know how we talk about the 5:00 shadow? and you remember the old "Edge" commercials where they test the guy's face with a credit card right as he's developing the 5:00 shadow? Well, I've discovered that trick doesn't need a credit card, and it doesn't have to be on your face ... when my wife wakes up late in the night, she thinks that the dark:00 o'clock shadow on my head feels pretty neat, so she starts rubbing my head. I don't know ... maybe she thinks it's good luck or something ... What I do know is that it's really loud when she rubs my head stubble that close to my ears ... I'm going to have to tell that woman that I'm not a plaything ... (That sounds like a role reversal, doesn't it?) ... Yes, honey, I believe you now that you sometimes wake up late at night and have trouble sleeping ... Thank you for sharing that with me ...
Okay, that's enough of my little fun with myself tonight. I hope you find a little enjoyment in it.
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Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
Last edited by shy_guy; 05-05-2012 at 01:30 AM.
Reason: Apparently, I couldn't spell "Enjoyment."
When I was a kid, my step dad would have me 'count the bald spots' in his hair. He died at age 70. Bald.
My bio-dad went through chemo and radiation for 12 weeks and didn't loose ONE STRAND OF HAIR! It just turned white. WHITE! even his beard.
My husband has a head of thick, curly black hair. It's receding at the temples, which I find sexy, but he worries it will keep going. lol!
My first bf ever had hair like Jim Morrison in HS. Now, age 37 (omg...hahaha he's 37! We met when we were 14) he's got the cul-de-sac on his head and it makes me smile. Not because he's balding, but because I've seen him 'grow up' essentially.
But because of my stepdad, I just thought it was natural for men to lose their hair. Hubs is the first man I've been with that wasn't going bald.
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,863
Re: Stages of a man's head
Quote:
Originally Posted by Browncoat
My father in law lost his hair at a very early age (even started loosing it in high school).
He always said: "God gave some people perfect heads, the rest he gave hair".
I told my girls it was my solar panel ... I actually shortened it a bit because I told my wife it was the solar panel for a high energy love machine ...
__________________
Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
My step dad had the clown hair for a while in his 40s. He was in construction so it was always dinged from god-knows-what. Cuts and scraps on his head And always SUNBURNED! The man would remember to put lotion on his EARS but not the big ol' dome on top of his head.
Awww...thanks for this thread! Totally making me smile, remembering my good childhood with that man.
the hardest I've ever laughed at the TV was on a comedy show when the host said something snotty and one of the panellists said 'are you bald or is your neck blowing bubble gum?'
__________________
Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
A few years ago, when I was 44, the lady who cuts my hair confided that she was pretty frustrated that I only went in every three weeks for a haircut. Now its every other Thursday night, because it seems to grow thicker and faster as I age. It's funny, because my mom has very straight, jet black hair at 71 (with a couple of streaks of gray), while my older brother is bald. The problem is that at 47, its not easy to decide the best way to pull off NOT going thinner or bald in the hair. I used to part it slightly to the side, but my wife says that everything makes me look like a kid. My wife is sensitive about the times that people have asked if I was her younger brother, so I probably put way too much thought into it.
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,863
Re: Stages of a man's head
It's interesting you mention that. When you look at me, you will never guess what degree of Native American I really am - I don't show that much. The ones of my family who have kept their hair have all turned grey early.
I think my wife is going to be like your mom. She is actually a year older than I am, and her hair is still jet black. She doesn't have a grey hair anywhere on her head.
Not that I'm really that sensitive (despite the wisecracking I did in the OP), but I think shaving my head actually made me look younger. I was looking pretty old, and she was the one people were more likely to think was the offspring . Either way, she is very kind about how I look ... and either way, I tell her it improves my image to be seen with her.
__________________
Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
I never notice the stage of my head in front of the mirror, its only in pics or video from less than a dead-on angle and it surprises me and saddens me at the same time. I sometimes think of myself as having nice thick hair, and constantly forget that I have two symmetrical bald circes on the back of my head - It doesn't even bald in a nice pattern, and even looking right at my forehead I don't even notice how far back it has receeded and how thin what's hanging on up there has become.
At a time in my life I feel like I have lost a lot of my confidence, it doesn't help much to have those occasional reminders that my once beautiful hairline is gone forever.
Men: if your hair is going shave it off. Men with no hair are hot. Do not under any circumstances a) get 'hair in a can', b) spend thousands on hair transplants, c) wear a syrup. I Implore you! Posted via Mobile Device
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Stages of a man's head 
When I was a kid, my step dad would have me 'count the bald spots' in his hair. He died at age 70. Bald. 
And always SUNBURNED! 
