And yet I'm so adicted to TAM. I really need to stay out of the coping with infidelity section of the forum. It's depressing me! Every day there are more people with "help! My husband/wife cheated on me" stories. How can people treat each other so badly?!
I was just telling my husband this 20 minutes ago - sometimes I have to take a break from this site - I'm a sponge and I feel everyone's pain, and I feel my own from past experiences... It gets overwhelming at times! :/ Posted via Mobile Device
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,860
Re: This site can be depressing!
It certainly can be depressing. I came thinking I could help (surely I've learned something in 27 years of marriage that someone could find useful). I almost immediately discovered I couldn't go onto CWI - too heavy and I have nothing from my experience to offer. Soon after, the "Sex in Marriage" board became very heavy, and the rules seemed to get tighter so that I couldn't ask my questions for learning. The general relationship was good interaction, but ...
I started spending time in "The Social Spot" because I do like the interaction, but I'm finding now that I can spend less and less time on the heavy boards, and almost all of my time on the social spot. Now, I'm questioning whether anybody even believes it when I say I'm happily married - some just can't seem to grasp that a happily married person would be here, even for the reasons I have given ad-nauseum.
But still, here I am ... I have a pretty good hypothesis I'm working on for why I keep coming here ... as heavy as it can get on those other boards, I find myself enjoying this board, but is it productive? or healthy even? I'm going to tie myself in knots trying to figure it out I suppose ...
__________________
Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
And yet I'm so adicted to TAM. I really need to stay out of the coping with infidelity section of the forum. It's depressing me! Every day there are more people with "help! My husband/wife cheated on me" stories. How can people treat each other so badly?!
Oy... I need a hug.
That's why I hang out in here. We have a lot of fun in here.
I was just telling my husband this 20 minutes ago - sometimes I have to take a break from this site - I'm a sponge and I feel everyone's pain, and I feel my own from past experiences... It gets overwhelming at times! :/ Posted via Mobile Device
Yeah, that feeling is called EMPATHY. We need more empathy in the world. Until that happens, I will continue to come in here and talk about farting.
well to be fair it is called 'talk about marriage' and despite my experience I'm not cynical, I love the fact that there are people here who have great marriages, it shows that it's not all doom and gloom out there..
though y'all can be a little slushy at times
and I'm jealous of all the great sex you're all having
It certainly can be depressing. I came thinking I could help (surely I've learned something in 27 years of marriage that someone could find useful). I almost immediately discovered I couldn't go onto CWI - too heavy and I have nothing from my experience to offer. Soon after, the "Sex in Marriage" board became very heavy, and the rules seemed to get tighter so that I couldn't ask my questions for learning. The general relationship was good interaction, but ...
I started spending time in "The Social Spot" because I do like the interaction, but I'm finding now that I can spend less and less time on the heavy boards, and almost all of my time on the social spot. Now, I'm questioning whether anybody even believes it when I say I'm happily married - some just can't seem to grasp that a happily married person would be here, even for the reasons I have given ad-nauseum.
But still, here I am ... I have a pretty good hypothesis I'm working on for why I keep coming here ... as heavy as it can get on those other boards, I find myself enjoying this board, but is it productive? or healthy even? I'm going to tie myself in knots trying to figure it out I suppose ...
When I first stumbled on this site I was sad, depressed, angry, and very very lonely. I feel better now that I can talk and laugh with you guys in the Social Spot. I feel like I have friends again and I think it's cool when I can recognize who typed what before I look at the avatar, or I know how so and so will react to certain things.
I view the Social Spot as the ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS, and we all have a grand time!
__________________
Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,860
Re: This site can be depressing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dollystanford
well to be fair it is called 'talk about marriage' and despite my experience I'm not cynical, I love the fact that there are people here who have great marriages, it shows that it's not all doom and gloom out there..
though y'all can be a little slushy at times
and I'm jealous of all the great sex you're all having
Slushy sex sounds like a good camping activity. I bet you have to finish quickly so as to not get frostbite on the tush, though ...
__________________
Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
What keeps me here is that most, even though they are dealing with some heavy issues, desire something more, that is, true connection. The perfect relationship doesn't exist, but the process of moving towards healthy relationships is a valuable and worthy undertaking. I like to be 'around' people who are taking the time to do this in their lives, instead of dismissing it and just having a superficial, looks-good got my house and partner and kids and sex and we go out every once in a while so all is well type of marriage.
It keeps me mindful of healthy relationships in all walks of life and also personal responsibilities when it comes to mental/emotional health.
I find that the types of exchanges on this board enhance my day to day communications. I am more honest and others are more honest with me, I am more present in my life...I experience people differently, not so much at the physical level but the spiritual level.
Then again I am also studying Buddhism approach to life and am a practicing Quaker now so that might have an effect as well.
Actually I find most of this site pretty upbeat. There are a bunch of posters (like those in Social Spot) that see the humor in most situations. There is some funny stuff put on these pages.
Then there are people who, while hurting, are trying to make positive changes in their lives. You can see that even if their current situation doesn't work out, they carry forward a better perspective.
The only posters that I try to avoid are the permanent "victims". The people that jump on every thread to tell how bad they have it. Many are in the Sex forum. Same complaint, over and over, but refuse to take any action to repair it. They would rather argue with the people trying to help, than actually do something to help themselves.
__________________ The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?
OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
I totally agree with the "island" thing. This is my private island...............well with all y'all, too ...............that I love to come to everyday.
I get so many laughs and smiles here...........and I feel the love between us all. It's there.........really!! Right?
Some of us have created special friendship bonds, and that's what keeps me coming to the TAM social spot M-F (I take weekends off ).
__________________
~~~ SW ~~~
~ A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you". Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"...She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine.
Last edited by southern wife; 05-10-2012 at 09:18 AM.
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This site can be depressing! 
...............that I love to come to everyday. 
). 
