Not sure if this has been said, but try to avoid any caffeine for about 4-6 hours before bed. It never used to affect me before, but as of late I suspect it's causing me to randomly wake up at odd hours in the night. It might affect other's ability to nod off in the first place.
I find if I am having a hard time falling asleep I tend to read. A chapter or two later and I tend to be ready to turn the lights out and sleep within a few minutes... especially helps to read something a tad boring if for example you have something work related to read...
For me it's a well ventilated, cool, tidy bedroom, dim lights and some gentle classical music. I like to lie soaking up the tranquillity of all this until I'm relaxed and ready to nod off. Then it's lights out.
Yeah those are really key for me. If it's too warm or muggy my sleep is definitely interrupted. Maybe that's because I grew up in Northern California where it's always cool and dry at night.
Nice777Guy, as I read through the progress of posts in this thread, I wonder if you may be talking about something different. Are you saying that you're fighting a battle in your mind, and you can't relax and let the battle go and get to sleep? If so, then that is different from what I was trying to talk to in my earlier posts in this thread. I do this sometimes, but it is a different situation. Exercise will help with this some (not too close to bedtime, though - too close to bedtime never helps), but exercise alone will not get me past it, and if I try to go to bed with that battle still raging in my mind, I will still be tossing and turning when the alarm goes off in the morning, and all that does is add to my level of frustration.
If THAT's what you're talking about then the approach I take is this:
It's usually after I've gone to bed that I realize it is something I'm not going to let go of. As soon as I realize this, I get up - staying in bed only prolongs it. These situations are always work related with me. What I do is get up and go work on an email or whatever form of communication would be appropriate for that, and I don't hold back. I let it go exactly the way it goes through my mind, and I continue on it until I've worked through my idea, and gotten it laid out. Once I've spent that emotion, I save the email: DO NOT HIT SEND THAT NIGHT!!!!!! Even in a job like mine, where open, straightforward disagreement is literally in my job description, I've found that hitting send on the nights when I'm like this is not the best approach (I wouldn't get in trouble for it, but I need to maintain relationships).
As soon as I've spent that emotion, then, I can relax and I find sleep pretty easy to find.
The next day, I look at that email or communication I wrote the night before, and I usually thank God I didn't send it that night. Then, I can edit it to be worded in a way that is more likely to get cooperation and be productive. I don't try to edit until after I've gone through my morning routine and gotten into a productive frame of mind - that's the time I trust that I will make the best judgement in getting cooperation. After that editing is done, THEN I will hit send.
As a matter of fact, just to avoid accidents, I usually write in Word the night before, and don't even put it into an email until the next day.
So that's how I deal with a battle raging in my mind that won't let me relax and sleep - different matter from just not needing much sleep.
Somewhat this - yes. Although not usually a specific battle or single issue. More like a general restless, unsettled feeling.
Maybe its a divorce hangover - or just some generalized depression.
Alcohol helps me "unwind" - but its not a good long term solution.
I struggle with getting enough sleep. It's really nothing new - been fighting my bed-time for as long as I can remember. Just seems lately that a little more sleep would be a smart thing.
How do you all relax and unwind? How do you mark the end of your day?
Shy: That makes two of us. I'll go to bed by 10PM, waking back up at 2-2:30AM. Will either lay awake, read, or watch TV until I tire and then only sleep an hour or two longer. I'm lucky to get in 5 to 5-1/2 hours of sleep nightly.
Mostly my mind wanders about me, my sons, finances, and occasionally about STBXW. My IC has suggested several things, from drinking tea to taking melatonin, all to no avail. If I ever got a full 8 hours sleep, I would think that I've died and gone to heaven!
When I was suffering from depression sleep became an issue. Therapy helped me calm down, relax and reduce stress. I can sleep now. I do like melatonin, 5-htp or tryptopan to aid sleep in stressful times. I rotate what I take depending on what the problem seems to be that day. 5-htp is good for anxiety and it helps you sleep but you can't take it all the time or it loses it affectiveness. Melatonin can be taken every night. Tryptopan can also be taken every night and also helps with mood/sleep.
When I was suffering from depression sleep became an issue. Therapy helped me calm down, relax and reduce stress. I can sleep now. I do like melatonin, 5-htp or tryptopan to aid sleep in stressful times. I rotate what I take depending on what the problem seems to be that day. 5-htp is good for anxiety and it helps you sleep but you can't take it all the time or it loses it affectiveness. Melatonin can be taken every night. Tryptopan can also be taken every night and also helps with mood/sleep.
Are these over the counter things you can get, or do you need a doc to prescribe them?
I'm up at 6am too make breakfast for the kids while wife showers, once they all leave I start my day, which can go until 5pm, then I start dinner, get everyone fed, we bathe kids, get them in bed @7:30, I shower, we do some house work, watch a TV show, then to bed by 10. If I'm lucky, there is some physical activity, then she guess to sleep. I do a bit of work, and go to bed around midnight. I get up with the kids and dog if needed, which kills me, because I can't go back to sleep!
Tonight, just got to sleep, slept a hour, dog needed out, so I got up, now can't go back to sleep.... I've been on here over an hour. I have taken over the counter sleep aids, but they make me feel like crap the next day, so I'm wondering if there is something else that might help.
For a while, I tried a melatonin blend that I got at costco. It also had valerian in it. It worked, but man, that stuff gave me really weird a$$ dreams. I've talked to other people who've had weird dreams with melatonin, too. It may or may not happen to you, but I thought I'd pass that along.
Why fight it? I get the most work done and have the best ideas come to me between the hours of 1-4am. I'll watch Netflicks, read through an ebook, and read a few stories on TAM.... and BAM! I can work out every last detail of an idea whether it be affair patterns or electronics and still get a few more hours of sleep.
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Re: Bedtime Routine 
