Other introverts maybe, but for many introverts relationships are usually better with extraverts anyway. So go find a nice outgoing lady who enjoys pulling you out of your shell.
There is NO WAY I could live with an extrovert. Would be totally and utterly exhausting. I'm 80% introverted.
I'm happily married to another introvert. I don't want to be pulled out of my shell.
Don't get me wrong I like extroverts but for me I can only take them in small doses. I do have ptsd though so that affects this. There is only so much stimulation I can handle.
There is NO WAY I could live with an extrovert. Would be totally and utterly exhausting. I'm 80% introverted.
I'm happily married to another introvert. I don't want to be pulled out of my shell.
Don't get me wrong I like extroverts but for me I can only take them in small doses. I do have ptsd though so that affects this. There is only so much stimulation I can handle.
But is your husband more extroverted than you are? He may not be the glad-handing used car salesman, but is he more out going than you are? Opposites attract, and we need our spouses to balance out our personalities.
There is NO WAY I could live with an extrovert. Would be totally and utterly exhausting. I'm 80% introverted.
I'm happily married to another introvert. I don't want to be pulled out of my shell.
Don't get me wrong I like extroverts but for me I can only take them in small doses. I do have ptsd though so that affects this. There is only so much stimulation I can handle.
I completely understand - there have been a few introverted women in my past I've been very attracted to, thought would make a great couple, but for "whatever reason" (lol, quite literally) we never connected.
Also, it depends more on the whole personality, extroversion being just one of the factors. My ex being quite outgoing and comfortable in her skin would often do things in public that made me blush - I appreciated this because she did it in a way that I could grow from, however I could always see disappointment on her face that I was embarassed, like she felt I thought less of her or that I was ashamed of her - but it wasn't ever about her it was about my own personality and introversion (which I think by the end of the marriage she really came to see as a defect she didn't like at all in a mate).
However though relatively comfortable in her skin she wasn't really gregarious, I don't think I could handle someone loud and boisterous all the time. I found that my ex was becoming more so, perhaps at a way to find something more in life... like you, I'm not even really attracted to that, however my next mate will definitely be someone who is outgoing enough to keep challenging me to come out of my shell (I know this isn't exactly attractive male behavior but it is who I am).
My husband is about 50/50 extroverted/introverted so yes he's more people oriented than me. I'm VERY outgoing and personable. Introverted simply means I need large blocks of quiet/thinking time to recharge. If you met me in real life you'd swear I'm extroverted but I assure you I'm not.
Leo males have a dominant, masculinity about them that I really like, but, it can definitely be taken too far.
My uncle was a Leo, and one time when I was visiting he said to me, "Shake my hand." So I did, and he squeezed it really hard; felt like the bones were breaking. So I jerked my hand away and said, "?" He said, "When you shake someone's hand, always try to hurt them. It lets them know you are in control." I'm thinking, "No, it let's them know you are a collossal azzhole."
That's the unpleasant side of the (male) Leo coming out.
While reading another thread lately, I noticed there are a few introverts here, or those with spouses who are introverts. I thought it might be interesting to have a thread to say whatever we want to say about the topic. I never really gave my personality much thought until I read more in depth about introverts and discovered that is probably the label for what I am.
I guess one of my pet peeves about it is that extroverts are always trying to "cure" us as if we had a problem. They seem to think we would enjoy ourselves so much more if we would just get more involved in activities and throw ourselves into more social events.
I don't consider myself shy at all; I don't think the two are one and the same. I am also not bothered by crowds. For example, if I attend a concert, the crowd aspect does not bother me aside from the fact that there are always a few nuts in a crowd. I just don't need to be involved in social activities and around a lot of people to enjoy myself; I actually enjoy down time and being away from the hub of activity.
It is difficult to explain sometimes, however, without seeming rude. For example, at my job, which has over 30 people in the building, they are always trying to have some social activity going to prove we are "a family." I have a family, so I don't really need 30 other people to be a second one. We have a cafeteria, but they will often announce "potluck" day where everybody brings something and eats together in the lounge. I never participate because it's just not worth the trouble to me; it's not something I enjoy. It's difficult to explain that i have nothing against anybody, it's just not my idea of fun.
Also, they have Christmas parties, and the boss often has gatherings at her house. We often get free passes to this and that so we can all show up enjoy ourselves. I make an appearance sometimes just so i don't seem like a total scrooge, but I really have no desire to spend my free time with my co-workers and i get no joy from this at all.
Anyone else like this, or am i just a total nut-job.
Ever since I was a child I was labeled "too sensitive" and "anti-social". I really resented these labels, even at an early age and was known for tearing up at the drop of a hat. For this reason I found others much too stimulating and difficult to relate to.
I also have a condition called "misophonia" which makes it extremely uncomfortable for me to be around others. Misophonia translates roughly as "hatred of sound". Crowds, even family gatherings, are too much for me to handle and I will often be found outside, or away from the bulk of bodies. Many people close to me often feel I am distant, aloof or uninterested, which is completely untrue.
I need space and time to reflect on my own or else I will feel exaggeratedly emotional and frustrated.
In my life right now I currently feel smothered at times by my newborn. Until a few days ago I didn't realize how much she was affecting me until we were at the hospital, (she'd been having a few rough days, diagnosed with colic/GERD/Reflux), when I kept begging the nurses for time alone and privacy. After being ignored for the millionth time, I broke down in tears. One nurse in particular, (what a saint!) Decided to talk with me and help me figure out what I was feeling. She suggested after a long talk, (and she was sooo calming for me and baby!) That I seek help for my anxiety. I always thought people were just annoying and overwhelming, but indeed I may have anxiety and PTSD from some other events in my life. She felt I could benefit from medication and help stressful situations keep from overwhelming me and sending me into panic mode. I'm not a "fighter", rather, a "flier" and when it gets to be too much, I have to run away.
Before we talked, she confided, I just seemed, (to an outsider), to be difficult, angry, etc. when in fact I was feeling trapped and unable to escape.
Another irony is that my husband actually makes me feel alienated. He is distant and aloof to everyone in his life, including me. I try to remember he often feels many of the same things I do... So I understand how shut out others may feel from me.
Am I a true introvert if I really am generally a bubbly and cheerful person in my mind? And with others close to me in situations where I am not overwhelmed? Or has misophonia actually alienated me into introversion? Could be the chicken-or-the-egg scenario.
Feels good to get this all out. I feel normal here because no one can see me as I am in life... I feel like I can really reveal my inner world and thoughts without the judgment and misinterpretation.
I'm glad this thread was posted! Posted via Mobile Device