Coffee Amore

I consider myself introverted with people I don't know though at work, out of necessity, I've learned not to be introverted with new people. I'm a lot more extroverted as an adult than I was as a child. I told someone that I consider myself "introverted" and he was surprised. Maybe I don't come off the way I feel. Given a choice I prefer a small party wtih people I know over a large party where I have to mingle with strangers. I'm much more boisterous around my friends and family than casual acquaintances. My husband's family is very extroverted. These people have no problems speaking on a stage in front of hundreds of people or singing in public. They throw big parties. They love being the center of attention. I think being around them has brought me out of my shell.

Browncoat

Yeah but at least it's fun. Not like:

Gee Bob how about that weather?

Gosh how is your <kid name> doing in scouts this year?

Golly gee aren't these <insert food item> delicious?

No thanks...

Lon

Introvert here (for those who don't have introvert radar like AR, haha)

One of the most painful things the ex told me (after 8 year relationship and 7 year marriage) is that she realized she needed someone more "extroverted" and that I am the way I am and can never change who I was (like she is some sort of personality expert) and that I'd meet a a really nice quiet gal who likes dong nothing and staying at home like me (like really, that is your advice, that I'm useless and deserve someone useless? is basically what she was trying to imply but somehow more politely).

So I agree with SB, introvertedness is not shyness, nor is there anything wrong whatsoever with introverts - just don't assume we are happy without any form of human contact, it is still a basic need.

southbound

No problem. We would rather be quickly eaten alive and put out of our misery!

sigma1299

I'm an introvert as well - I hate crowds and were it not for missing my loving wife I would be quite happy living alone. I did for several years. I've taught myself to act extroverted over the years and can be pretty good at it - people are surprised when I tell them I'm introverted. Now about being served up at LFFA's party....

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sigma1299

I can only imagine....

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SimplyAmorous

I like this you tube video of the Introvert trying to explain to the Extrovert why he is the way he is.

Introvert vs. Extrovert Conversation - YouTube


My inborn temperment is a combination of an Extrovert (Choleric) & an Introvert (Melancholy)..... both are of the "intense" variety......meaning I like to get down to business, screw small talk and yeah, the deep is what I enjoy and if work needs done.... lets get on it....Or I will be temped to crack the whip...I'd likely make a nasty boss.

Where as the Sanguine (primarily the extroverted Partiers who enjoy goofing off on the job-- but always very friendly) ...and the Phlegmatics (your laid back dry humored type) are of the softer (less intense) type...small talk is their domain......

I am a homebuddy....so is my introverted Husband so this is a blessing... but I LOVE a good happening party with good friends.....we throw them ourselves many times .... so long as I enjoy the type of people around me.... I fit in very well, can be very boisterous, laughing all night long, not caring when anyone goes home...

But like Browncoat, I enjoy meaningfull conversation. Much humor can still be found in the meaningful... that is my experience. Surface talk generally bores me. I have less to say when I am around jokers than I do when I am around the serious. And I have a hard time faking that to fit in...so I just be who I am, if they want to think I am weird... that is fine.

Wouldn't be the 1st time, and it won't be the last.

If there is too much drinking where people don't know what they are doing, any sort of wreckless behavior, That type of party is going to suck for me & I will be looking for the exit very fast, the bar scene holds zero interest.

Often Introverts will marry Extroverts, and for the most part, this works very well....if they care to understand each other, as the weaknesses of one can be the Strengths of the other.. this is how it is in our marraige anyway. I have always been very friendly to anyone I LIKE... even strangers, and I have always had a thing for the introverted guys.

It is claimed statistically Introverts have a higher intelligence in comparison... they also often do the work behind the scenes but get less glory for it, kinda like the "Wind beneath the Extroverts wings".

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Dollystanford

ugh I avoided mother and baby groups like the plague

my FB is full of my old schoolfriends going 'ooooh Carter did a poo in the potty today' and 35 people going 'well done carter!!'

*heave*

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Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten

827Aug

Another introvert here!

It's funny you posted this thread today. My extroverted daughter had a few harsh things to say about my introverted lifestyle today. Extroverts really do think we are "broken" and pathetic.

Although I am quite happy and content living in my introverted world, my budget has also played a part in it. It costs MONEY to be a social butterfly! It's much cheaper to do quiet, productive things at home (as opposed to going out with friends all the time).

Heck, I can't even figure out the appeal of FaceBook.

Runs like Dog

If it didn't involve going to jail I'd be an exhibitionist.

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Runs like Dog

I really have to check myself sometimes answering the door....

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827Aug

Watch it! This introvert can inspire animals to do great things. You should see how all the horses, dogs, cats, etc. look up to me and will follow me anywhere.

Okay, I'll crawl back under my rock now.

lovesherman

Time magazine had a great cover story on introverts a few months back:

The Upside Of Being An Introvert (And Why Extroverts Are Overrated) - TIME

lovesherman

I can so relate to that, Trenton. In our case it is my husband who can't stop talking, and me who walks off by myself. I agree that you need to balance each other out. If I married another introvert, we would soon run out of things to say to each other!

Lon

I disagree strongly with both your idea of leadership, and also introversion.

For one I think the whole concept of "leadership" is too often treated as some virtue, like great leaders are somehow naturally born or else "vetted" into it. The concept of leadership as it is taught in business school is a complete farce and over-rated. I despise that we reward leaders much more than those who have chosen to actually use their own wisdom and talent to decided what course of action to take. I am disappointed when "leaders" steal the credit of somehow "inspiring" others to do great things...

Leadership emerges from necessity and when your goal is to become a leader you have got it all backwards in my mind. Stepping up to the plate when you can steer a group in a certain direction is definitely an integral part of social dynamics and I'm not saying unimportant, but it is ridiculous to presume that without "great" leaders great things won't happen - leaders are just simply the helmsman for a great idea, the real great ideas have their own steam. and an army of people introverted and extroverted alike trying to make it happen.

As to the idea that introverted people struggle with leadership, once you stop buying into the corporate myth of "great" leadership you realize that the charisma to sell a vision is NOT virtue, its simply marketing skills, and those skills aren't what inspire its the vision itself which belongs to the human race as a species not an individual.