Feel free to list em here and the event that brought it about if you wish.
My example...
This morning hubs decides he's gonna whip it out and poke me in the rear with it. My reaction.... after just having woke up.... In my mind i was thinking... "What the hell!! Get that thing away from me! You a real piece of work you *******!!" Now.. what i ended up saying...... "What the hell!! Get that away your a real piece of .... *******!!" He's still laughing about that as i type this..
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,873
Re: Goof ups in saying something!!
Oh MY GOSH! Do I ever have material for this!!! Not all of it will make it here. I have actually even written humorous pieces that are published on the internet about some of the experiences based on a bi-lingual marriage ... and all I can say is: What's made its way into those stories are NOT all there is!!!
But one not related to bilingual issues:
When we first suspected that my wife was pregnant with our first, I had to find out how to get her into the hospital in the geographically separated military base where we lived at that time. They had very few doctors, and I had no idea really where to start - whether pregnancy tests were done in a walk-in clinic, or if we needed to make an appointment, or if we walked in for the test and then made an appointment for the results ... it was all new to me.
I called the base hospital and attempted to ask whether it was appointment only, or a walk-in clinic, but my mind was working faster than my mouth, so it went something like:
Me: I need to find out how to have a pregnancy test performed for my wife, so I needed to know, do I need to make an appointment, or is that one of those <I lost my word and entire train of thought here, and struggled to resume>, umm, those, you know, one of those mass production things?
<short pause on the phone as a feeling of dread began to settle over me ... but I still couldn't find the word "clinic.">
Voice from the phone: No, you'll actually have to do all the production work yourself. All we're going to do is QC to evaluate how good of a job you did.
__________________
Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
Feel free to list em here and the event that brought it about if you wish.
My example...
This morning hubs decides he's gonna whip it out and poke me in the rear with it. My reaction.... after just having woke up.... In my mind i was thinking... "What the hell!! Get that thing away from me! You a real piece of work you *******!!" Now.. what i ended up saying...... "What the hell!! Get that away your a real piece of .... *******!!" He's still laughing about that as i type this..
Sometimes in those morning wood/cuddling before fully awake situations I wake to "WTF, why is my back wet"
Tenth grade. Coach was teaching us geography (since most coaches have to also teach in small schools). He had taken up someone's Bon Jovi tape or something. Everyone was joking about getting it back from him by stealing it back or something. The sentence in my mind was "Hey, let's gang up on coach". The sentence that came out of my mouth "Hey, lets gang bang coach".
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,873
Re: Goof ups in saying something!!
Shortly after I met the woman that is now my wife, we made an agreement that she would teach me Korean and I would help her learn English better. This is actually how our relationship started (and accelerated to marriage VERY quickly). Maybe 2 or 3 days after we started, I was going shopping with her (part of her teaching me the culture). I asked some question and she responded, "Mola'."
"Mola'?" I asked. What's that mean?
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know. It's your language. You just said it. What's it mean?"
"I don't know."
"So why would you say it?"
"I want to teach you."
"Okay, so what's it mean?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"Yes."
"Did you know what it meant when you said it?"
"Mola'? Yes."
"And you're telling me you don't know?"
"Yes."
Somewhere along here, I had to just pause, and I must've had a very puzzled look on my face because she started again with a lot more intensity in her voice.
"No! Stop! Look at me! Listen to me! Mola' means 'I don't know!' and sometimes it means 'I don't understand!'"
__________________
Dolly speaks with a ****ney accent. On the drinks thread, we talk about ****tails. A confident person might be ****-sure. An arrogant person is ****y.
#%$@ TAM!!! It was a rooster long before it was an organ!!! FREE THE **** FROM THE EVIL TAM CENSORS!
Not something I said... but a teacher in HS told me this story. True or not, I always liked it:
He used to give out these little quizzes which he called "quizzies". He always gave out really tough quizzes too (I remember all too well). Well apparently one day this really shy girl in the back of the class raised her hand and when called upon asked:
If this is what your quizzies are like, how hard are your testies?
She instantly got red in the face, and the whole class burst out in laughter.
Your welcome. You know, if it had been the cute volleyball girl coach then it might have worked out entirely different for me after that mishap. But no, it was the big burly football coach that was extremely homophobic. I barely passed that class. My homework became increasingly scrutinized over that last few weeks of school. Posted via Mobile Device
Back when I was married and things weren't going so well with us, I really tried extra hard to be nice, in order to prolong what turned out to be the inevitable demise of the marriage followed by a nasty divorce.
Slipups like the following only fed fuel to the fire.. one morning as we wre sitting eating breakfast, I decided to try to be nice while making a simple request. What I meant to say was 'darling can you please pass the sugar' but instead out of my mouth came "you F%^cking B^&*tch you ruined my life!"
Ok that's from an old joke but hey it fits the thread
This wasn't me. My cousin has this weird quirk where he switches the first consonants of words in a sentence, like "I'm running to the store" might become, "I'm stunning to the rore." Yes, very odd, but he's actually one of most normal in the family.
Well, he was dating this girl once, and they were getting kinda serious, so he was going to meet her parents for the first time and take them and the girl out to dinner. He drove an old sedan, and the back passenger side door would always get stuck. When the parents couldn't get it open, he went around to help, and as he was unsticking the door, he said, "I hate this door." Only he did the consonant-switching thing, which he tends to do more when nervous. It came out, "I date this hoor" instead.
Poor guy. I'm sure he tried to explain, but I bet trying to explain that after the fact just sounded lame and weird to the parents.
Well, he was dating this girl once, and they were getting kinda serious, so he was going to meet her parents for the first time and take them and the girl out to dinner. He drove an old sedan, and the back passenger side door would always get stuck. When the parents couldn't get it open, he went around to help, and as he was unsticking the door, he said, "I hate this door." Only he did the consonant-switching thing, which he tends to do more when nervous. It came out, "I date this hoor" instead.
I...can't....breathe....
seriously that's the second glass I've spat over this laptop in half an hour, you guys are making me waste my wine!
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Goof ups in saying something!! 
