TGIF.......Post your funnies........... - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 08:16 AM Thread Starter
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Talking TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

A beautiful woman sits down on a barstool next to a young man. She asks him if he would like a handjob. He replies, "Yes!" She says thatíll be fifty dollars. He says, "No thanks. No handjob is worth fifty bucks". She says, "Come outside with me. I want to show you something."

They go outside and she points to a beautiful, cherry-red Lamborghini. She says, "See that car? With the money Iíve earned from giving handjobs I paid cash for that car." The young man says, "Well, if theyíre that good, I gotta try one." He gives her fifty bucks and she proceeds to jerk him off. And this handjob is absolutely blowing his mind. When she finishes, he just canít stop raving about how incredible it was. She smiles, gets in her Lamborghini, and leaves.

Two weeks pass and the guy is thinking, if her handjobs are that incredible what must her blowjobs be like? He goes back to the same bar and meets the same woman. He asks her, "How much for a blowjob?" She replies," $200." He yells "No way! No blowjob is that good!" She once again asks him to go outside with her, and they drive to a huge mansion. She says" See that mansion ? With the money I made from giving blowjobs I paid cash for that." So the guy, not fully convinced, but remembering how good the handjob was gives her $200. She grabs his penis and gives him the blowjob of his life. Itís so good he canít believe it. She drives him back to the bar and drops him off.

The next week the guy goes back to the same bar and sees her there again. Heís remembering the blowjob and decides he wants to try the real thing this time. He asks, "Hey how much would it cost me to go all the way with you?" She replies, "Come with me." Once again she drives to her house. She takes him inside and opens the curtains of a huge window. She says, "You see that island out there?" He Says, "Yes." She says, "I could pay cash for that island if I had a p*ssy."



~~~ SW ~~~
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post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 08:23 AM
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post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 08:38 AM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........


Hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie. Sat around laughing and watched the last one die.
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post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 09:24 AM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

Two psychiatrists meet on the street....one says to the other, "You're fine, how am I?"
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post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 09:40 AM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

Really funny little clip: Pachelbel Rant - YouTube (5 minutes)

Last edited by Browncoat; 06-08-2012 at 10:04 AM.
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post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 09:44 AM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

DD and friend! Brings a smile to my face everytime I see this!

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Last edited by cherokee96red; 06-09-2012 at 03:55 PM.
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post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 10:04 AM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

I will survive - Alien version (1 minute long)

I will survive - Comedy routine from Igudesman & Joo (< 6 minutes) If you've never seen these guys it's worth a look.
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post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 11:17 AM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

Airplanes v. Women

* Airplanes usually kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.

* Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

* Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go."

* Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection.

* Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation.

* Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

* Airplanes can be flown at any time of the month.

* Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

* Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.

* Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.

* Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.

* Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.

* Airplanes expect to be tied down.

* Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.

* Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.

* However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.
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post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 12:25 PM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

Here's a few that I saved that always make me laugh

Our R

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy ~ Bob Hope
You only lose what you cling to.

Last edited by Hope1964; 03-14-2013 at 12:32 PM.
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post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 12:37 PM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........


Hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie. Sat around laughing and watched the last one die.
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post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 12:39 PM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

Joe I have that one too!

Here's a couple more. The carrot actually grew in my garden about 4 years ago.

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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy ~ Bob Hope
You only lose what you cling to.

Last edited by Hope1964; 08-19-2013 at 05:44 PM.
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post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 12:40 PM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........




Hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie. Sat around laughing and watched the last one die.
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post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 12:41 PM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........










Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 12:44 PM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........

Classic

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post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old 06-08-2012, 12:45 PM
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Re: TGIF.......Post your funnies...........


Hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie. Sat around laughing and watched the last one die.
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