A beautiful woman sits down on a barstool next to a young man. She asks him if he would like a handjob. He replies, "Yes!" She says thatíll be fifty dollars. He says, "No thanks. No handjob is worth fifty bucks". She says, "Come outside with me. I want to show you something."
They go outside and she points to a beautiful, cherry-red Lamborghini. She says, "See that car? With the money Iíve earned from giving handjobs I paid cash for that car." The young man says, "Well, if theyíre that good, I gotta try one." He gives her fifty bucks and she proceeds to jerk him off. And this handjob is absolutely blowing his mind. When she finishes, he just canít stop raving about how incredible it was. She smiles, gets in her Lamborghini, and leaves.
Two weeks pass and the guy is thinking, if her handjobs are that incredible what must her blowjobs be like? He goes back to the same bar and meets the same woman. He asks her, "How much for a blowjob?" She replies," $200." He yells "No way! No blowjob is that good!" She once again asks him to go outside with her, and they drive to a huge mansion. She says" See that mansion ? With the money I made from giving blowjobs I paid cash for that." So the guy, not fully convinced, but remembering how good the handjob was gives her $200. She grabs his penis and gives him the blowjob of his life. Itís so good he canít believe it. She drives him back to the bar and drops him off.
The next week the guy goes back to the same bar and sees her there again. Heís remembering the blowjob and decides he wants to try the real thing this time. He asks, "Hey how much would it cost me to go all the way with you?" She replies, "Come with me." Once again she drives to her house. She takes him inside and opens the curtains of a huge window. She says, "You see that island out there?" He Says, "Yes." She says, "I could pay cash for that island if I had a p*ssy."
~~~ SW ~~~
~ A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you". Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"...She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine.