Middle of Everything

Colder than a witches t!t in January. (my daughter loves saying this shortened to "colder than a witches" not even sure if she knows what a t!t is)

F@ck me in the goat a$$. (stolen from an Adam Sandler bit)

southern wife

Kiss my grits!

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~~~ SW ~~~
~ A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you". Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"...She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine.

Kurosity

"Tell Karma hi for me when you meet 'cause I have not see it in a while" (to anyone who needs a visit from karma)

"Hope you choke on your hamburger." (at drivers who cut me off or nearly get us in an accident on their way into a fast food parking lot)

"You think?" (anytime someone points out the obviousness to a situation)

"Oh for Helzzzzz sake." (when I do something stupid like drop something over and over)

Ulysses

Well f*ck me sideways or, f*uk me backways with a wooden spoon! (surprise, annoyance)

Me blood pressure was up and down like a hoors knickers. (excited)

If you had brains you'd be dangerous.(idiot)

I'm as full as a bingo bus. (drunk)

I am absolutely stocious! (beyond drunk)

Your starting to give me the gloonuck now. (you're annoying me)

You look like the wreck of the hesperis. (said to a person suffering from a hangover)

Ah no, I've made a balls of this. (I seem to have made a mistake)

Dollystanford

ha ha my dad used to call me 'the wreck of the Hesperus'

when D gets up and gets her as* downstairs I always say 'THE KRACKEN AWAKES'

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Learn how to talk proper, know what I mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten

Kurosity

Ulysses

Awh god I know and the poor Kracken doesn't know it's arse from its elbow first thing in the morning, shuffling into the kitchen and mammy there all smug and spritely with her cuppa tea barraging her with questions about the night before!

heartsbeating

stealing THAT!!

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"Victims; aren't we all" - The Crow

joe kidd

Patton Oswalt - Nick Nolte - YouTube
Sometimes if we forget something I will say to Pidge.
" Christ Chewbacca, I thought I told you to fix the GD Hyperdrive." In my best Nick Nolte voice. LOL The link above is where I got that from.

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Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. Swimming through sick lullabies. Choking on your alibis

DanF

Shut the Front Door!

Runs like Dog

If I can't be a shining example then let me be a hideous warning.

(there's about a dozen variations, attributed to Dorothy Parker, Catherine Aird, and others)

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fight back

Runs like Dog

What good is power if you can't abuse it?

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fight back

endlessgrief

Where the HELL are you from?

__________________
The snake is notoriously tempting
But the snake is fair.
What is worse than not knowing?
To live or disappear?

Dollystanford

he's bloody Irish!!!!

__________________
Learn how to talk proper, know what I mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten

endlessgrief

My father had a million sayings, all of them hilarious. But one thing stands out above the rest. We were a HUGE fan of ALL IN THE FAMILY, a sitcom in the 70's for those of you who don't know. His wife Edith would yap and yap and yap and tell long stories and Archie would hate it. So he would pantamine suicides when Edith went on and on. My father would do this to my mother when she got too wordy and we kids would fall apart laughing. Check it out!


AITF : THE ARCHIE BUNKER PANTOMIME SUICIDES - YouTube

__________________
The snake is notoriously tempting
But the snake is fair.
What is worse than not knowing?
To live or disappear?