When we get mad or sad, we all use sayings that are more like metaphors for our emotions. What sayings do you say often under certain circumstances? I will get us started. Oh, and beware, I have had wine, so this might get a bit long.
SH!T IN MY CEREAL: hubby hates when I say this. But everytime I am happy about something and tell him, he finds a way to bring me down. Hence, he is sh!tting in my cereal. Hubby likes to use FINGER STIRRING HIS LEMONAIDE (lame). I just couldn't use RAIN ON MY PARADE forever.
PICKING THE FLY SH!T OUT OF THE PEPPER: I use this one a lot! This is about someone nit picking about something that has no value, a waste of time.
LOOKS LIKE I PICKED THE WRONG WEEK TO QUIT SNIFFING GLUE: I stole this from the movie Airplane. I use it when I am so angry or frustrated, I need a drug of some kind to help me calm down (metaphorically speaking).
GET THE SAND OUT OF YOUR VAGINA: I use this when a man acts like a wimp or gets whiney.
I AM SANCHO - I use this when I see some greezy dude with slicked back hair, silk blouse with it unbuttoned to his navel, hairy chest and a gold chain on.
IF YOU MOVE ANY SLOWER, YOU WILL BE GOING IN REVERSE
YOU MOVE AS FAST AS OLD PEOPLE FCUK
I SEE, SAID THE BLIND MAN TO THE DEAF MUTE - been using that one since Elementary school.
IT'S COLDER THAN A WITCH'S T!T: I have used this, but why do witches have colder t!ts from the rest of us with t!ts? Who knows.
Now let's hear some of yours so I can steal them too!
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Favorite Sayings 
