MattMatt

There was a young lady at work who was very pretty, but who looked a bit weird.

A young male colleague asked me if he thought he should ask her out. I asked him if he fancied her, he said he did, so I said: "Well, go for it! Ask her out!"

Several years later I met him (we had both changed jobs) and he looked a bit of a mess, unshaven, unkempt and somewhat wild of eye.

He told me that he had taken my advice and started going out with her. His voice started to get a little hysterical and I started to feel a chill down the spine.

"I took your advice and asked her out and we dated. The sex! Oh! The sex! The sex was incredible! Absolutely incredible. Mind blowing! The things she could do to me with her body! I didn't like the violence though, the pain she inflicted on me was not nice.

"But... I don't blame you! In fact, all the pain was worth it for all the fantastic sex! But we split up. I... I... am in therapy, now and I'm starting to get a bit better."

I chatted with him for a couple of minutes and he ambled off.

And that's why I don't offer dating advice, now!

humanbecoming

Wow. You worked with dollys ex?

YinPrincess

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humanbecoming

Imma so getting my azz handed to me for that one...

MattMatt

MattMatt

YinPrincess

You asked for it... Just wait til she sees this! Lmao!
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MattMatt

Wait 'til morning in the UK! She'll be back! 3.27am? Dash it! I am late to bed. Again!

humanbecoming

Hell, she's still awake.... Um, not that I would check or anything weird like that...

Nsweet

It's OK MattMatt, I'll take over from here.

Dollystanford

Just because they can't HANDLE it doesn't mean they don't LOVE it

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten

Nsweet

The best dating advice I can offer is to stay away from Dolly. You can date her but DO NOT go into her house or let Dolly pour your drinks. You'll wake up 10 hours later butt naked and shackled in her sex dungeon next to three or four terrified TAMs men and dozens of skeletons. She rapes men to death and makes you the woman! It was Awe-horro-gasmic!

Dollystanford

what a way to go though!!!

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Learn how to talk proper, know what I mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten

Caribbean Man

I used to like to play " matchmaker."
The last guy I set up ended up in hospital with severe burns on his male member and entire groin area. Lets call him Mr.X
This is what happened.
This girl was on my case. She seemed smitten,but I am married and she knows,but she don't give a damn.
Mr X sees this girl and goes like WOW! [She was a hottie]
So I tell Mr. X, man I could hook you up,this girl is on my case and I am not interested.
[ Mr. X also has a " friend" ]
Mr. X says YES! YES! YES! So I hook him up good.
FFW one month. Mr. X tells me that he's already in her pants and that she's clingy , and creepy. [Which I already knew.She's a stalker!] She keeps calling and texting his phone.
D-Day,Ms. Stalker decides to go to Mr. X's apartment WITHOUT being invited,and meets another woman there.
Worse yet, the other woman and Ms. Stalker recognize each other. They went to school together.
Other woman starts to cuss. He manages to quiet her and get police to remove Ms. Stalker.
He then calls me frantically,I tell him DO NOT LET HER SLEEP IN THE APARTMENT TONIGHT! Because that girl could do anything.She was mad as hell and jilted. He laughs me off.
Next day I get a call telling me that Mr. X was in hospital. Other woman poured boiling hot water over his member while he was sleeping 3 AM in the morning.

That was the last time I played matchmaker.

Dollystanford

but also

and

__________________
Learn how to talk proper, know what I mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten