It's not withholding sex though It's not like, "Oh you were a very bad boy...tsk tsk...no sex for you! You're grounded for 2 weeks!"
No.
It's more like, "I have no desire for sex with you because you ripped my heart out. Since sex with you is emotional and not just an effing, I cannot get into it, nor do I want your penis inside me. Thanks for effing up our lives with your immaturity. I have to gather my thoughts and see how I feel. Can't be fogged with sex."
You don't have to 'decide to withhold' . You can just 'not feel like it' because of the circumstances. Withholding makes it sounds like sex is something women always 'give' and not a mutual act which either one of you may or may not be in the mood for. Lies are deffo a mood killer, possibly forever.
Just to throw this out there after reading a few more quotes from MMSL website a few moments ago, I take back everything positive I ever said about him. "The perfect frame is when your wife knows you could replace her easily but you won't because she is behaving as you want her to. So long as she's a good wife, she won't be dumped or cheated on". Well then.
Here's me eating crow and sorry I ever bought his book, read it and even commented on it in some form of a positive light.
Found out he cheated twice in his marriage. He talks for us women.......all women. Considering all the support and free marketing this guy gets around here, I think I might (after reading this) step away from this place for a good long while. Why anybody touts this guy as some Oracle of women is beyond me and his wife is a doormat. Welcome to the dark side.
WOW! So I can't speak my mind or disagree with my husband because he might leave me? What a boring marriage! Stepford Wives, anyone? There's a way to speak your mind without making your spouse feel like a turd. But I don't "behave". I just follow our boundaries and lines that we BOTH SET for our own marriage.
smh. Athol. That's not alpha. That's assh0le. Even his name sounds like "assh0le" when you hold your tongue. You know you just tried it.
And to counter Athol's stance, most women could replace their butthole, lying, cheating husbands in a moment's time too Not hard to find a replacement of that type of man when you own a vagina. Just sayin'.
It's not withholding sex though It's not like, "Oh you were a very bad boy...tsk tsk...no sex for you! You're grounded for 2 weeks!"
No.
It's more like, "I have no desire for sex with you because you ripped my heart out. Since sex with you is emotional and not just an effing, I cannot get into it, nor do I want your penis inside me. Thanks for effing up our lives with your immaturity. I have to gather my thoughts and see how I feel. Can't be fogged with sex."
Hey, this was EXCELLENT...I just gotta say...before this post by you That_Girl, I was accually siding with Caribbean Man ..I could see this as "punishment" easily... I have never been on the receivig end of something like this...or felt like this ...it is foreign to me ..... but how you just explained it here - yeah... "I GET IT" now... the difference you were both trying to explain.
It was actually a lot to do with your bluntness, that got my wheels turning and ultimately made me fix things.
and a few others, but you stuck out in my brain. and if it wasn't for you guys, I'd probably still be drunk every day, crying myself to sleep in hell.
This is really the best thing I've read in so long in a selfish way because it means a lot that my thinking and posting is not just for myself even when I know I get something out of it too.
It's not withholding sex though It's not like, "Oh you were a very bad boy...tsk tsk...no sex for you! You're grounded for 2 weeks!"
No.
It's more like, "I have no desire for sex with you because you ripped my heart out. Since sex with you is emotional and not just an effing, I cannot get into it, nor do I want your penis inside me. Thanks for effing up our lives with your immaturity. I have to gather my thoughts and see how I feel. Can't be fogged with sex."
This is EXACTLY it. It's seen as withholding but it's really a sign that the communication in the relationship and emotional connection has gotten to a point where the intimate act of sex is not something the person wants.
Although this isn't always true. I'm sure there are women who withhold to get what they want even in the face of having a man who does care but it's too easy for a man to see a woman's lack of desire for sex as something devious rather than as something he contributes to.
Just to throw this out there after reading a few more quotes from MMSL website a few moments ago, I take back nearly everything positive I ever said about him. "The perfect frame is when your wife knows you could replace her easily but you won't because she is behaving as you want her to. So long as she's a good wife, she won't be dumped or cheated on". Well then.
Here's me eating crow and sorry I ever bought his book, read it and even commented on it in some form of a positive light.
Found out he cheated twice in his marriage. He talks for us women.......all women. Considering all the support and free marketing this guy gets around here, I think I might (after reading this) step away from this place for a good long while. Why anybody touts this guy as some Oracle of women is beyond me and his wife is a doormat. Welcome to the dark side.
I did think you had gotten on the crack pipe when I read threads in support of his writing and viewpoint. It is rubbish and any positives that come from it are cancelled out for me in knowing the underlining viewpoints of the man writing it.
What Athol is actually saying here is this, "Find yourself an insecure woman who you feel you can screw for the rest of your life because she will stay and allow you to play off her insecurities."
Hey, this was EXCELLENT...I just gotta say...before this post by you That_Girl, I was accually siding with Caribbean Man ..I could see this as "punishment" easily... I have never been on the receivig end of something like this...or felt like this ...it is foreign to me ..... but how you just explained it here - yeah... "I GET IT" now... the difference you were both trying to explain.
I can only speak for myself but not once did I ever think "I'm not giving it up, that'll teach you". It was (to me) "Hey, you really hurt my feelings and I don't feel close to you now so I don't want sex". Punishment? No. It was my reaction to what had happened to me. Punishment to me is conscious were as feelings are more heartfelt and harder to explain.
Does that make sense?
I did think you had gotten on the crack pipe when I read threads in support of his writing and viewpoint. It is rubbish and any positives that come from it are cancelled out for me in knowing the underlining viewpoints of the man writing it.
What Athol is actually saying here is this, "Find yourself an insecure woman who you feel you can screw for the rest of your life because she will stay and allow you to play off her insecurities."
Noooo! You read some things that you appreciated and understood. That is called open minded. I read them and understood them as good things as well. I just wasn't willing to add to an already horrifically strong machine moving in a direction I didn't like (even if it was carrying some crap I liked).
Noooo! You read some things that you appreciated and understood. That is called open minded. I read them and understood them as good things as well. I just wasn't willing to add to an already horrifically strong machine moving in a direction I didn't like (even if it was carrying some crap I liked).
Not a very good analogy but you get my drift.
I wish I would have done a bit more research before endorsing something so disgusting. Lesson learned and it won't happen again. So much for being open minded.
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Re: Will it ever end? 
It's not like, "Oh you were a very bad boy...tsk tsk...no sex for you! You're grounded for 2 weeks!"
What a boring marriage! Stepford Wives, anyone? There's a way to speak your mind without making your spouse feel like a turd. But I don't "behave". I just follow our boundaries and lines that we BOTH SET for our own marriage.
Not hard to find a replacement of that type of man when you own a vagina. Just sayin'.
