girl friend talk problems

bhappy3 · 02-12-2008, 04:43 PM

My girl friend and I are having some communication issues. Please note that I'm a girl and we've been friends for 25 years this year... since childhood. So anyway, it seems that in the past few years that when she calls me the conversaition is completely one sided. The other night she called and we were on the phone for 24 minutes and 43 seconds. I made note of this b/c I can guarantee that I spoke for no more than the 43 seconds. Even when she asked a question of me, I wasn't even awarded enough time to finish the thought before she went off talking about something else. And if I would interject something, something I want to talk about, she would interrupt to tell me something completely off the wall, like her ferret climbed the curtain this morning. ??? To me that is a sign that she doesn't want to talk about what I have to say, so I shut up and she continues to talk. Even on IM chats this is how it goes. I'm completely frustrated and just avoid talking to her anymore. Even when questioned by her the other night what was wrong, I was cut short and didnt' even get my thoughts out. My husband and others are tired of hearing about it and basically told me to talk to her about it or shut up. So I emailed pretty frankly what's been going on and now we're wondering what kind of solution there is. Any thoughts anyone?? Thanks!! =)

draconis · 02-12-2008, 07:28 PM

Well atleast she could not interupt your email. I would have left a note that she was a cherished friend and you wanted to talk about this with her. Then if she did it then you could point it out to her. It might just be that is what she is like though, sadly.

draconis

stav · 02-14-2008, 02:04 AM

Well, you've been friends a long time, perhaps you are the only friend that she has, that she knows she can pour her heart out to. It could be that she is lonely and talking to you is the only conversation she gets all day. So tries to cram in everything that she has been dying to talk about but hasn't had the chance to.

Emailing her your gripes is probably the best way to get her attention, and I am sure you can sort it out with a little effort. It would be a terrible shame to lose a friendship that has survived so many years for such a small thing.

sarahdale24 · 02-15-2008, 02:36 PM

I would definantly email her. MAYBE she doesnt know shes doing it, or something like that. Keep us posted and good luck. Ive never had a friendship that long, so I'd do anything to save it!

bhappy3 · 02-15-2008, 05:01 PM

Thanks guys... I did email her and was pretty blunt about it b/c I was so upset by that point. But, it got the message across and we IM'd actually during the time I emailed her. Saving the friendship really wasn't an issue... we're almost like sisters, so we'll always be there for each other, just that my intensity was waning. I've told her about this before and she was good about it for a little while, but just like a man, she went back. It's going real good now, but we'll see how long it lasts. I think we may need a keyword or something, so that if she does it again I can just say one word, like pancake or something, and she'll know what I'm talking about. She's just a pretty intelligent person with ADHD, so her head bounces around like a superball. It's just a matter of taming it. Thanks for the thoughts!!

draconis · 02-17-2008, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bhappy3

Thanks guys... I did email her and was pretty blunt about it b/c I was so upset by that point. But, it got the message across and we IM'd actually during the time I emailed her. Saving the friendship really wasn't an issue... we're almost like sisters, so we'll always be there for each other, just that my intensity was waning. I've told her about this before and she was good about it for a little while, but just like a man, she went back. It's going real good now, but we'll see how long it lasts. I think we may need a keyword or something, so that if she does it again I can just say one word, like pancake or something, and she'll know what I'm talking about. She's just a pretty intelligent person with ADHD, so her head bounces around like a superball. It's just a matter of taming it. Thanks for the thoughts!!

I wish you the best of luck and with the ADHD I am sure she didn't mean to do what she did.

draconis