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post #31 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-05-2013, 05:07 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

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I would be prepared to take such a group off-site and run it off the back of a family orientated support forum I've been running for the past 3 years. It would, of course, be completely separate from that group, and would be designed so that it was strictly members only and none of its content would show up in search engines.

For me to do this, though, I would need the permission from TAM admin to post a link to the off-site forum here on TAM, and also the help of a few abuse survivors to help me moderate it and keep it safe. Such a forum would, of course, have to bear the disclaimer that it was not run by professionals.

Thoughts?
Sounds good to me.
Once these people could safely post their problems and get the crucial help they need , especial psychological.
I have observed that with most of the cases / stories posted here, the women were in a state of emotional helplessness.

I think TAM also has separate spaces where such a group can be started although I don't know if the formating is the same. But I know special groups exist on TAM strictly by invitation only.
But your idea sounds perfect .



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post #32 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-05-2013, 05:14 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

I've not read all of the post but can we add male victims of domestic violence. This aspect of violence against humans is insidious because men are ashamed and don't report it.

The system is not geared to assist men and therefore resources are difficult to find. I think help has to be gender specific and treated separately.

Men are more likely to seek help in an environment where there are other men with the same problem.

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post #33 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-05-2013, 07:14 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

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I've not read all of the post but can we add male victims of domestic violence. This aspect of violence against humans is insidious because men are ashamed and don't report it.

The system is not geared to assist men and therefore resources are difficult to find. I think help has to be gender specific and treated separately.

Men are more likely to seek help in an environment where there are other men with the same problem.


Whilst DV perpetrated against men tends to be more psychologically orientated, it can also be physical, but both are equally as damaging, IMO.

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post #34 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-09-2013, 07:30 AM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

Cosmos,
I have an idea.
It is a combination of your last suggestion and mine.

I'm thinking maybe you and a couple other " abuse survivors " could start a TAM social group [ a few others already exist.] and maybe you all could place a link in your signature.

Something similar to what some of the regulars in the CWI section do , so that " newbies " would have access to that group designed to help them by sharing experience and giving support & advice.
Of course control over who has access would lie in the hands of yourself and the original group of " survivors."
Any " disruptive " poster can easily be referred to the mods.

What do you think?


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post #35 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-09-2013, 07:46 AM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

This is a good idea, CM... The only problem I can see is that newbies probably wouldn't actually be able to access a private group until they've made, I think, 30 posts? People coping with DV tend to lurk quite a bit before posting, because they need to feel safe before doing so. I do like your idea, though.

One of the beauties of an off-site group would be a chat room facility and greater 'control' (for want of a better word) by the mods of that group. There's always the danger of these sort of groups to losing focus and turning into 'pity parties,' which is the last thing someone suffering from abuse needs. They need empathy, support and lots of motivation to access the help and resources that are out there to help them break the cycle and move forward.

Perhaps we should give you suggestion a try, CM, because it certainly is a good one.

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post #36 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-09-2013, 08:09 AM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

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One of the beauties of an off-site group would be a chat room facility and greater 'control' (for want of a better word) by the mods of that group.
Yes. This^^^is what I meant.

Regarding newbies, maybe you or French Fry could start a thread regarding the idea ,and have it placed as a " sticky " in the Ladies Lounge much like what Dejoo has at the top of the Men's Clubhouse.
Formulate rules and in that thread inform them exactly how they could gain access to the group if they wanted to.

Then place a link to that thread in your siggy and in the siggy of the others who are the mods for that chatroom.

Just an idea, lol , maybe FF could respond?.


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post #37 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-09-2013, 12:53 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

I've PM'd FrenchFry and asked her for some input, CM.

I would really like to get started with this

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post #38 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-09-2013, 02:29 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

Thanks FF

It would be great if we could invite new members who are dealing with abuse to the private group, rather than them having to wait until they've made 30 posts.

It would also be great if we could have a sticky within the group so that all resource info etc stays at the top.

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post #39 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-09-2013, 02:37 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

To consolidate my findings on what I can do here:

Yes I can absolutely sticky a thread. If either of you create the thread, please PM me the link ASAP so I can be sure to sticky it very quickly.

As far as the social groups go, it looks like you have the choice to have it public, moderated or invite only. It looks like the creator of the group has moderator-like powers like deleting threads and kicking out/inviting users.*

I'd be happy to join the group and lend any of the moderator powers I have as well. I might not get too deep into discussions, but I agree that this is an important resource we can offer.

*At least I think so, I created the group as a moderator.
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post #40 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-09-2013, 07:24 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

Thanks, FF. I'm going to mull this over overnight and post here again later.

Thanks for your help!


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post #41 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 05:58 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

abused men who would benefit as well.
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post #42 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 06:41 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

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Thanks, FF. I'm going to mull this over overnight and post here again later.

Thanks for your help!
Any updates Cosmos?
If you don't want to go public as yet then just PM me.


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post #43 of 48 (permalink) Old 09-13-2013, 05:51 AM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

CM, will PM you later today.

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post #44 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-12-2013, 10:55 PM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

Just to point out -there may be pluses and minuses to making the forum private.
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post #45 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-13-2013, 06:17 AM
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Re: Forum for abuse and abuse survivors

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Just to point out -there may be pluses and minuses to making the forum private.
I agree. Also, there wouldn't be enough tools available to the host of such a group on TAM to keep it safe. It's for this reason I decided not to do it.

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