I think its cause you both are so caught up in the daily maze, with all the kids to take care of, and the work and the schools meetings and home and economy, and family, and your own hobby, that there isnt much place for things you were doing when alone.
He didnt cheated you in that way, he had a one night stand, thats not like going out with somebody instead of you, and it sounds more like an alarm system to say something is wrong and has to change.
So i think you should take it cool, you are no moron, thats for sure, so look at it this way: you both had not a good time you both were lacking closeness and sometime off the usual stuff, you both needed space and were feeling traped, you both didnt knew how to deal with it nor to what to do, you both didnt have even much time to even really think all that through, and you both coped with it differently: you had a bad injury he had a nightstand. both of it are physical ways to deal with emotional stress. When your being got enough, the body comes in the middle and say: ok enough is enough, lets break meself a leg so youl see if you cant get some time off now..after all..
it happens to all.. stressed business men with no time for family ends up or having a silly affair or breaking both legs at Avoriaz, or while turning down the street, or having a strocke, cause now the body say: cool down .
sounds crazy but its proven.
Also people get an allergy all the suden or a bad cold in the middle of summer.
even sometimes its one of the kid who get all sick cause then parents got to be there, and the kid in reallity will never have been sick if it wasnt because the parents needed a break from the rest..
Its not between you and him that something is wrong hun, its between you and you and him and him.
You got to enter the other age level, thats all.
Dont try to make sense of it or to think it too logicaly.
Feelings aint logical at all. Just follow the flow, just do as you feel, and try to found the time to can do so.
And above all, dont bite on him and fully beleive you got to have grudges against him, just cause thats what your supposed to do when your husband got a one night stand. Thats garbage! it poison your life.
whatt you feel now about it got nothig to do with it but with how you feel about yourself and about your husband. You put this as an excuse cause hé thats so accomodating, and you are in your rights, so thats cool huh!?
But truth its not that way at all. Him too he got discomfort to face, he just gave you the ball. Try to talk about you as a couple and individual in another way, and to dont put that sidstep in the middle of it. it wil work as distracting from the real issue as long as you keep refering to it, either in your head or to him.
Sit down and say" i feel darn borred and overwhelm with all kind of things that i keep systemitased like a computer table, but real down i dont feel that i dont control anything and i would like some more freedom. I feel trap like a rat in a maze and i want to run away sometimes!" He will certainly feel the same so try to found a way to extend that maze or to jump rorm it more often.
Do craze things together. No need to send the kids to hell just cause you need time together, you can also do craze things all together. So that the usual life and the free space will be one and not 2 worlds. No need for it to be so. What you need is to implement that free space as much as you can inside your daily life. Oh its too much the same routine, but so will it be if you were alone.
you can break routhine or make new ones but no need to plan it like the 11th Niels Bohrs commitee congress, if you see what i mean.. Dont think so much about it.
You got a mal être a mal de vivre, a bad feelign inside, dont feed it.
Say to each others "i want to have fun" and have fun! damnet! go have fun and laugh like kids and drink too many beers and fire too many bad jokes!
Go together to watch some horse race and wear both a funny crazy hat á la queen elizabeth, should do the tric.
Relearn to be less disciplined and less in the box.
You got enough pressure on discipline from work and kids, thats enough. Break the line, curve it a little and a little more.
Be crazy outside before you become it inside!
Thats the little child inside you that needs space and is craving it.. it wants space to can play.
So all you got to do is to play like when you were a little kid again.
And no bad feeligns for hubby, he is in the exact same situation as you are and he dont know what to do about it.. just like you.
So give each others a break not by spliting but by doing fun stuff together like kids.
And most of all, stop taking life so darn seriously.
Its not a fair game, but its a game most of the time.
Watched from a distance we are all some funny caracters living a compeltely crazy non sensical life!
Must why no life from another palnet is coming, when they watched us they said " WOW! those guys are really crazy! we better not get trap down there!" and Wuff! they were gone! LOL