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Old 10-25-2008, 03:55 AM   #106 (permalink)
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[QUOTE=Honey;23018]I don't know about you, hun, but has people gotten so very rude, mean, and down right hateful towards others or what?

People are mean on the roads.
People are rude to ya on the phone.
People are pushy and rude to ya in the stores.
Everywhere you go, it is this way.

I think it has become really soemthing to have to deal with lately, and getting worse by the minute. Do you see this where you live, or is it just in the US?
QUOTE]

i think this a worldwide phenomenon. an epidemic of jealousy, anger, resentment, hatred etc etc
politics and religion are an aid to blame.

no different in wales nor n e other place ive been to.
but there are some nice ppl out there.
you just have to filter them through your own process of elimination.
like a bottle of smirnoff vodka - it gets filtered 7 times atleast i think before its given the seal of approval.

and ive had to do that with a few of my ex mates. luckily enough the next level of filter sussed out their true personality.
pretty worthless really.
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Old 10-25-2008, 08:18 AM   #107 (permalink)
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I Agree with that justean.

Jealousy, anger, resentement, hatred, are so common today.

Its not always easy to filter the good from the bad, we have to wait until something happen, who make us see their real face, and then its too late.

I hate discovering that people i trust and talk to, and told lots of things, in fact didnt like me at all and were backstabbing me the whole time. Its quiet a hit on the face to become aware of that. Both from friends around and form works friends. You are pretty much grilled out when you finaly found out.

Thats when I pray for that "whats goes around comes around", is true. ;D I need to be sure.. ;D
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Old 10-25-2008, 09:22 AM   #108 (permalink)
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oh thats my favourite saying.
"what comes around", because it usually does.
you just have to wait and be patient.

this is true, someone i know, well treated me a bit awful .
i was deeply upset at the time.
and ok it took 2 yr and 6 months.
but she has just apologised to me for her actions.

also many moons ago.
i was only a teenager, he bullied me terrible. names, pushing etc.
well a few yrs ago, being us both all grown up , he was working as a postman. on his delivery. i caught him totally unaware.
asked him if he remembered who i was and he said no.
i told him who i was and reminded him of his actions.
but you know what it came back to haunt him and he soon apologised.
dont you just love those moments.
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Old 10-25-2008, 10:38 AM   #109 (permalink)
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oh thats my favourite saying.
"what comes around", because it usually does.
you just have to wait and be patient.

this is true, someone i know, well treated me a bit awful .
i was deeply upset at the time.
and ok it took 2 yr and 6 months.
but she has just apologised to me for her actions.

also many moons ago.
i was only a teenager, he bullied me terrible. names, pushing etc.
well a few yrs ago, being us both all grown up , he was working as a postman. on his delivery. i caught him totally unaware.
asked him if he remembered who i was and he said no.
i told him who i was and reminded him of his actions.
but you know what it came back to haunt him and he soon apologised.
dont you just love those moments.
;D sounds to me like a dream scenario, justean.
I experienced quiet a few of that kind but instead of apologises, i got to know that they are in bad situations. One used to hit me on the face, downstairs, each time i will walk by this cyber café, on my way to the 7/11 or my way to the park, or my way back home.
he just slap me on the face screaming "you fcing jew!" and i was a bit scared of walkign by, just 50 meters form my door.
Well, now its like that that there was some gangs dilema, recently, and someone drived my street, with people shooting form the windows, with automatic weapons, right in front of that cyber café, where they always hang day long and night long til 3 or 5 am... WOW, and he get shot in the leg! the leg that he had used to hit me with on the chest, very violently once, on a new years eve.
He always jumped on me by surprised, on hte side, and up of some stairs, and BAOM! a strong kick on my chest!
So now he isnt there anymore and will probably never come back. I think his parents must have forbid him to come here. he dont lives here at all, and i didnt knew him, and never knew why he was doing that.
I am not jew, but it doesnt change the situation. And he even said once that he knew i wasnt jew but he was saying it to can hit me, or the others will look at him down for beating a woman.. but if i was a jew, then it was alrigth! and even agood deed! they were palestinians.

It doesnt always come in form of an apologise, but i know by now that they get in some trouble who make them htink and regret what they did in the past. I know of an ex who must bide his fingers till the day he die.
;D
Oh and i also met soem people from long ago from when i was at university, and they were also bullying me there, but now see where they are.. not far.. it made me smile too. I crossed one in the stret a month ago and she was all so ashame and red on the face, and smiling to me all shy. ;D I just look at her while passing by it was an enjoying sight.
If i was to decide i wil rather had that the guy apologise to me than getting shot in the leg.. or for the police to dont be so scared of the bronx and coming to arrest him and forbid him to come here or emprison him for violence in the street. But its not me who decide of those things, and it looks like God wanted to shot him! LOL

I like when its peacefull and all can come along, looks like it is heading this way now.

2 nights before the shoting happened, i had dreamed of that, of a car driving slowly by, and shooting at them, so mad i was at this impossible situation and unable to do anything.
So when it happeend and I heard the noise out the window, and called the police and saw the news on the net, I just instinctivly knew it was him who had been hitted and wished for it. I was feeling very happpy. I dont know why.
Then there was pictures, and it was that guy
He had annoyed so many people through time. I heard from the cafés' owner downstairs, that he even slapped old ladies passing by, on the face!

I never understood harrassing others at school nor at work, and i have always defended those who were also physicaly. At work i made claims and build cases to defend people being bullied and laughed at, and to stop the craze. People dont like you for doing that at first, so you are not very popular with some, but those who smile at you are worth talking to, while the others are just abject in their mentality.

Thats how i saw things.
But we seems so many to agree on that , that i think that the bad guys are a minority, just more visible than we are, and do things who are shocking and hurting thats why it takes more place in our mind.

it takes 10 good actions, to erase one bad.
Thats how our memory function, so no big surprise that we are so much influenced and distressed by the negativity that is all around.

It was nice to talk with you Justean, it made me know you better and it feels good.
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Old 10-25-2008, 11:49 AM   #110 (permalink)
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I think much of the rude behavior we see on the roads and in stores is due to our hectic daily lives. We're in a hurry to get everywhere. We're talking on the phone and texting while driving. We over schedule our lives beyond what we can do and then we're all stressed.

I found myself lashing out at a police officer the other day because I was in bumper to bumper traffic and trying to get over to my exit to take my son to the doctor. My son was puking in the back seat and I coudn't get over! Anyway there was a race going on on this road where I needed to get off.. The cop came and told me to roll down my window and said I was going to have to change lanes. He was a bit arrogant and rude in his request. I told him to please tell me how on earth I was supposed to get to the doctor as my son was puking in a cup in the back seat! (My tone wasn't too nice and somwhat condescending (I'm embarrassed to admit)). I think he realized my aggravation because he held up traffic so I could go around. I later felt bad about how I'd snapped at him but it was because I was stressed beyond belief. If I'd have left for the appt. 15 min. earlier, I might not have been as stressed.
yes mommy, that too can play in, sometimes, at the supermarked, or in trafic, but it doesnt excuse people harsh behavior at work or school, or in the street while walking, or park, or when they are in town by night having fun, in the streets, or in a pub or disco, being drunk being no excuse to being rude.
Its not always stress, soemetimes its pure meanness, some people are mean inside.
In your case that was an exemple of how being in a hurry can stress you and of course when you are stressed like that, you have no patience. Thats understandable, it was not for you but for your son, so its not the same. Bad for the officer, but i am sure and certain that he heard worse in traffic. LOL
You are human and cannot be expected to behave like a polite robot all the time. I think it was good from you that you reacted that way, cause it ment that he let you pass first so that you could get your son to the doc faster.

That was cool of him, but its also his job, that in case of emergency, like heath related circumstances, he must prioritise it first.
I can also be stressed in trafic and elsewhere, being so much in a hurry to reach the next goal, or coming home, or not being in late for work, and all that, but i dont lash out very often, unless someone push me real bad, in traffic, and i am on bike, which is dangerous, or a bus or taxi driver make a rigth turn a bit too abruptly, and could have killed me. But in the street most of the time i will say nothing cause anyway its useless and people do it all the time those days.
I just look at them with critical eyes and say "allezz".. or "wooow i am here too!". I am never stressed in supermarked. The muzak (music) makes me fall asleep and wanting to go home fast, and the trafic of so many people and so many things around to chose among, makes me so confused that i get all blured! LOL
I just lose track, and all the people talking around, with themselves (on a cell phone with head set) or to each others. Its just like being in a big beehave and trying to come out.
i think they realy do something to blur your mind so you are going to buy stuff you cant afford, or things you do not need.
At smaller malls, its easier. No music at all at the one i go to, and it help a lot. I do remember whats on my shopping list and what street i live on..
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Old 10-25-2008, 06:45 PM   #111 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by justean View Post
oh thats my favourite saying.
"what comes around", because it usually does.
you just have to wait and be patient.

this is true, someone i know, well treated me a bit awful .
i was deeply upset at the time.
and ok it took 2 yr and 6 months.
but she has just apologised to me for her actions.

also many moons ago.
i was only a teenager, he bullied me terrible. names, pushing etc.
well a few yrs ago, being us both all grown up , he was working as a postman. on his delivery. i caught him totally unaware.
asked him if he remembered who i was and he said no.
i told him who i was and reminded him of his actions.
but you know what it came back to haunt him and he soon apologised.
dont you just love those moments.
Yeah, baby, I sure do, and I go..hehehehe
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Old 10-25-2008, 06:48 PM   #112 (permalink)
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Yeah, baby, I sure do, and I go..hehehehe

LOL! thats what I did for days after that one..
I am stil waiting for some moreto come around..

I already got my ex, a few years ago, calling, and i got all hehehe .. wasnt it sweet to see that worm crawling.. and getting dirt only..
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Old 10-26-2008, 05:14 AM   #113 (permalink)
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well ****** nice to talk to you to. i read what you wrote and its really scary.
issues could be from n e part of your life, but i stil think its important to talk about them.
its part of your makeup and who you are now.
sometimes i wonder why i stil talk about my ex - hes long gone and thats good. but if we stil kept those traumatic feelings to ourselves,
i wonder if i would be the same person, probably not.
id probably be more bitter and twisted.
but im more accepting if i talk about things. well i try to be.
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Old 10-26-2008, 07:53 AM   #114 (permalink)
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So often I hear the phrase "what goes around, comes around". I support that concept, as far as it goes.

But consider: what makes you think that you are the START of that cycle??

The cycle continues not only day-to-day, but lifetime-to-lifetime. I'm not trying to say "you deserve what you get", but you don't know.

Based on (the view of) this lifetime, it's always "why me?" From (a view of) many lifetimes you should be glad things aren't worse.

Always strive to make life better, not only for yourself, but for others as well. That's how you "break" the cycle.
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Old 10-26-2008, 08:57 AM   #115 (permalink)
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well ****** nice to talk to you to. i read what you wrote and its really scary.
issues could be from n e part of your life, but i stil think its important to talk about them.
its part of your makeup and who you are now.
sometimes i wonder why i stil talk about my ex - hes long gone and thats good. but if we stil kept those traumatic feelings to ourselves,
i wonder if i would be the same person, probably not.
id probably be more bitter and twisted.
but im more accepting if i talk about things. well i try to be.
I also think that way, its very human to do so, and maybe specific for womens, but its the right thing to do.
Talking things over makes you feel lighter, and with time it makes the things less traumatic.
But also with time it makes you see things you didnt realised completely before, and there is so many things we can learn form our past experiences.
It makes you see what went wrong and when you should have said stop and simply walk away, but also why you didnt and what were your true motives to stay. And understand yourself better, and know that you werent so silly after all. only young and learning. It made me strong, because I was able to learn from it.
I dont talk much about my ex unless i am ask about it, because i have learned all what there was to learn about it, but when i do, it can still shed light on grey areas that i never completely understood.
Strong experiences take time to digest.
But if we give that digestion a hand, by working them out in our mind and trying to understand them and to see what really happened, we free ourselves from it emotionaly and can think of it with more and more detachement. and thats how we can grow and learn from it.
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Old 10-26-2008, 09:19 AM   #116 (permalink)
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So often I hear the phrase "what goes around, comes around". I support that concept, as far as it goes.

But consider: what makes you think that you are the START of that cycle??

The cycle continues not only day-to-day, but lifetime-to-lifetime. I'm not trying to say "you deserve what you get", but you don't know.

Based on (the view of) this lifetime, it's always "why me?" From (a view of) many lifetimes you should be glad things aren't worse.

Always strive to make life better, not only for yourself, but for others as well. That's how you "break" the cycle.

I see what you mean dcrim, but this one dont always apply, specialy if you have been striving to make thigns good and better for others most of the time, and you get something extremely harsh on you. One that cant outbalance all the things you might have done wrong.
A repetition of it too. If you meet too many challenges it is hard to grow, it blocks you in practicaly all areas of your life and its difficult to see any reason why things should be that way for you wile others who do wrong are having a very good time.
I believe in action and reactions, what you send and its consequences, and that i shouldnt have look for love where i look for it, just because i was starving for it, and that i should have jumped out much earlier. Listen to strong signals who were already there.
I didnt, and thats why things developed so badly.
But it doesnt excuse what i had to go through.
In other areas its even worse, where i had to fight so strongly for my work that at the end it disgusted me of working in that branch totaly, and i could never do so today.
And here i see no error on my part other than being too kind to others and being the person i am.

What you think about is the concept of kharma.
i dont buy it.
The concept of kharma was created by the upper class to make the poor accept their situation and not make riots for fear of making their "futur life cycle" worse than this one..
very smart
Very smart way to keep the status quo in a society and prevent anyone from objecting about anything.
Its like saying "we have it better than others" or saying " kids starve in europe or in bangladesh".. so .. " we should be happy for what we have here in the US and not ask for more and not complain and do nothing at all to change the state of things for the better, and let the rich having a jolly good time on us, and our governement doing nothing to better the situation for the less advantaged" oh yeah and amen to that, or.. "why should we think we have it better and why should having it better than "others" should be a reason for not trying to make it even better?"..
There is an histotical kharma in how society develop as a whole, but i dont beleive it to be true for individuals. it stop with the individ. And i dont beleive in punishment but in learning experiences and in hability to grab opportunities when they arise and to fail to do so, and ability to understand the signals and gifts who are send to us, and not being able to do so.
Being more open to those signals , having a better 6th sens or intuition is often more important than intelect when you have to deal with life situation where you dont know whats going to happen next, and when you are unsure about your feelings.
It crave to be more open and to listen, but its often difficult to do so when you are in a corner..
Listening to your inner voice will keep you out of trouble and back on track always.

Thats what i learn
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Old 10-26-2008, 10:04 AM   #117 (permalink)
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honestly and despite what i have so far had in my life , i know its nothing compared to the next woman or man or family.
i am very lucky.
even when my first hubby used to hit and punch me. there was always someone that got it worse. look at the poor women murdered or men.
my children havent starved from the day they were born .
but all i can do is teach them and continue to support my children.
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Old 10-26-2008, 11:09 AM   #118 (permalink)
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Someone getting it worse is never a reason to look at yourself and think i do nothing i am fine, and to minimise your problems.
It is a very wrong and very dangerous way to look at things, Justean.
You musnt look at it that way, but think that its not alrigth to have been treated that way and work hard to come out of it.
Nobody ever was starvign in Europe, not in modern time, but thats what some american beleived and were telling their kids at the table " think at the poor european kids who are starving" LOL
I got it from someone I know who work once as au pair in the States, and heard the parents saying that to one of the kid to make him eat his meat. LOL she was shocked and told them that they had a bit wrong picture of how things were outside America..

You can be very lucky and feeling so, but, it doesnt have to imply that you must minimise your experiences, and traumatic ones, to can be so. On the opposite, dont deny that you went through hardship to be where you are now, and that you are the one who made it happen, who was able to raise over it to end where you are now. Give yourself a clap on the shoulder and say "good done girl, you made it through".

What matter is not who is having it worse than you have, but how your own situation is, how you are feeling about it, and how it affects you, here and now.
You could also say: There is people who have it better than i have and even much better than I...
You can choose to look the down way or the upper way..
If you look up, you can decide that you want to have it better for yourself and make things better or found a way to do so, if what you have now isnt fully satisfying for you.
You can also be very satisfied with what you have and enjoy it as it is, but it has to be honnest, something you genuatly feel being that way.

I say bad luck was in the past, good luck is now and in my future and right now i can enjoy the good time and fruits of my experiences to make life so much better for me.
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Old 10-26-2008, 11:18 AM   #119 (permalink)
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I never wish bad things to happen to anyone, and I put a lot in God's hands to deal with, but if God thinks a person deserves to get some back, who am I to stop him?
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Old 10-26-2008, 12:09 PM   #120 (permalink)
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Yeah, I agree with that completely, who am I to disagree with God.. huh? hehehe LOL!
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