A suggestion regarding the ‘Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationship’ section.
Original Post by ReptarGirl in ‘The Ladies Lounge’.
“I need someone to talk to about it. I really don't need judgements though but I recently cheated and I'm awash with all these emotions and feelings over it. If anyone cares to help or listen, i would love to talk”
Posted by EleGirl
“Attacking the OP (ReptarGirl) is uncalled for. There is only one thing that is guaranteed when a person is attacked, they will leave.”
“The OP put her toe in the water to determine if this is a safe place to post where she could actually get some help. Instead of getting help she was attacked. … It is the policy of this site that WS will not be attacked and will be give support. “
I first read ReptarGirl’s thread after EleGirl had shut it down. I agree with EleGirl that ReptarGirl’s opening post was a “toe in the water” and yet it looks like she has been driven away in less than half-a-day.
Although, my posting count is not high, I have followed TAM for years. This is a great site and I continuously been impressed by the frequent thoughtful insights, excellent advice/recommendations, etc. provided by ‘ordinary folks’ who take the time to help strangers in distress. However, I believe that this site needs to do better in regards to WS/OM/OW who come here seeking help. To point, I believe that we need to address the initial piling on a wayward that happens too often.
To this regard, I do not believe a separate OW/OM section is the answer where cheerleading support can occur. Originally, as a TAM newbie, I thought that posting rules on the ‘Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationship’s three subsections were as follow; ‘General Relationship Discussion’ was open for posters of both sexes, ‘The Ladies Lounge’ was for women posters only and ‘The Men’s Clubhouse’ was for men posters only. Obviously, I quickly discovered that this was not a case; but, on reflection, I believe the above has merit.
Therefore, my suggestion is as follows; the 'General Relationship Discussion' remain open for posters of both sexes, 'The Ladies Lounge' be restricted to women posters and 'The Men’s Clubhouse be restricted to men posters.
The exception, in regards to ‘The Ladies Lounge’ and The Men’s Clubhouse’, would be an OP can be of the opposite sex to allow such things as “ladies, I need to ask a question … .” Both of these sub-sections would remain in the public domain for reading by all.
IMHO, this change will accomplish the following. One, to allow a wayward to ‘put one’s toe in water’. For example, I am confident that a wayward initially posting in the ‘The Ladies Lounge’, vice CWI, would not be cuddle (noting that a thread can always be later moved). Thus, instead of a full-court press, which frequently occurs in CWI, it is possible a wayward would be subject to a somewhat less intimidating initial reception and, consequently, be inclined to stay so that some good can be done.
Second, this suggest change would facilitate ‘The Ladies Lounge’ and ‘The Men’s Clubhouse’ developing into distinctly gender focused segments, instead of being mini clones of the ‘General Relationship Discussion’, adding a diversification to the betterment of TAM.
In conclusion, I believe this suggestion would enable the TAM policy “that WS will not be attacked and will be give support” and; thus, it is submitted for consideration.