Re: Leaving after years as a housewife??
This all sounds really positive to me!!! I have alot of hope for him/you guys now!
It does sound like all this time he's been lying to himself about how his porn use is truly affecting you - I think he really does care about you and your feelings, he's just been pretending to himself that he's not hurting you....now you're right, time will tell HOW MUCH he cares, now that you've made it clear that you are unhappy, and he needs to respond to that. I think you handled yourself amazingly, from the way you described things - like I said, I really admire your bravery and directness (I struggle with that!) It's the best way to handle this kind of stuff, and the only way to really solve it. Definitely work on your mindset about him acting out of obligation -- that shouldn't be a dirty-word, we ALL do things for people we love out of obligation, and sometimes it's the only way to get motivated at first. Try to see it as a sign of how much he loves and cares for you!
I think the idea of a different pastor is a GREAT one - good luck with that! Also, really consider finding some books for couples with issues similar to yours, I have found a ton of help from books when I couldn't get to a counselor! And there are SO MANY online resources as well, it just takes a little digging.
Also, please feel free to PM me anytime if you want to vent!! <3 If not, just post here - there's SO MUCH support here!