I can't stop bringing up our relationship - Page 14 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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post #196 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-07-2017, 10:33 PM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

My H took his clients to strip clubs. He always told me about them. Sometimes I went. We went to adult toy stores. We watch those shows on HBO about sex. We trust each other not to cheat. When H says "I'm gonna go see if those 20 year olds will take me home with them," I just laugh and say 'go ahead, if they'll have you.'

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post #197 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-07-2017, 11:20 PM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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Originally Posted by junomech View Post
So you're basically restating what 1/2 on here have already said. What's the point of your post? You can compare my lying about photography to any inappropriate behavior; drinking, gambling, video games, pornography, working to much, not listening, etc.

How is your reply any help to the issue at hand? I recognized my faults. But, I did NOT sleep with anyone.
There are many levels of cheating and acting badly.
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post #198 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-07-2017, 11:22 PM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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My H took his clients to strip clubs. He always told me about them. Sometimes I went. We went to adult toy stores. We watch those shows on HBO about sex. We trust each other not to cheat. When H says "I'm gonna go see if those 20 year olds will take me home with them," I just laugh and say 'go ahead, if they'll have you.'
That's ok for you, but many husband and wives don't act that way. I would never marry a man who thought that was ok and I wouldn't expect a man to marry me if I did.
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post #199 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-07-2017, 11:23 PM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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You have a weird opinion of what is pornography.

T/J over.
I know what it is.
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post #200 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-07-2017, 11:24 PM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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Originally Posted by OnTheRocks View Post
Can someone stop the threadjack by the two nuns, please?
Not a nun, a very happily married woman with a husband who would never act that way.Thank God for the good men.
I would LOVE to see your faces if your wives declared that they were going to be spending hours alone with a naked man to photograph them. LOL
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post #201 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-07-2017, 11:43 PM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

Thank God for good men who are safe and free to meet their wife's needs and are a good match to HER sense of morality, whatever it may be. And not necessarily the sense of morality of a group of people who believe that only THEIR view of morality is the right one.

If my H said he was going to spend hours alone with a naked woman to photograph her, AND PHOTOGRAPHY WAS HIS JOB, I would kiss him and say 'do a great job!' and go on my way to my own job. Because we trust each other and don't assume that any (gasp!) sight of the other sex's naked body immediately means sex, debauchery, treachery, or sin.

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post #202 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 12:49 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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Anyway my point is there are a million opinions about this and none are remotely relevant to this thread


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Yes, which is what I said with different words.
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post #203 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 01:06 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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Not a nun, a very happily married woman with a husband who would never act that way.Thank God for the good men.
I would LOVE to see your faces if your wives declared that they were going to be spending hours alone with a naked man to photograph them. LOL
With a chaperone, a paying job or with your spouse there as well on a few occasions? My face would look the same way it does when my wife goes to her corporate job. You know, where people cheat fully clothed in parking lots and during lunch breaks.
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post #204 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 01:55 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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This is a severe thread hijack. The photo shoot part of his story probably needs its own thread in the Sexi n Marriage forum.
Years ago, I went to a strip club. It was when I was in college and single. I don't know if it's like this for everyone, but afterabout 10 minutes, the nudity really isn't that shocking anymore. Of course if someone were to start grinding on you, that would be different. I believe it is possible to be in a room with naked women. That's coming from someone who absolutely sexualizes the female body clothed or unclothed. I would prefer it to be otherwise but it is what it is.

I don't know much about German culture. I just happened to find that article one day. I thought it was interesting. I know I have to make my 8 and 5 yr old wear clothes. In my experience kids have no problem with nudity until you tell them nudity is wrong. I distinctly remember my cousin in Georgia walking in on my when I was putting on my pajamas when I was 5 years old. I'm still pissed about that.

I also recommend her article about having knee surgery in a German hospital.
I saw that article as well, some time back.

I'm used to nudity and being in non-sexual nude situations. Yeah, in the USA - we are hung up on sex. Strip clubs don't make money with guys just sitting there. They make money by guys (you) buying drinks and paying for lap-dances or renting out the Champagne room.

Nude art is not porn.
There is also sexual photography that is still artful. I know a guy who does BDSM/rope "shibari" - which requires him to be physical with his model to tie them up. The photos and poses of his models are top grade stuff. There is no sexual intercourse in any of his thousands of photos. There maybe a single woman, two women or a man (rare). He's even tied up my wife once. Women come up to HIM to model for him. He does both free and charges.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
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post #205 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 03:41 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Not a nun, a very happily married woman with a husband who would never act that way.Thank God for the good men.
I would LOVE to see your faces if your wives declared that they were going to be spending hours alone with a naked man to photograph them. LOL
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post #206 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 05:38 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

Being naked with one that is not your spouse is a sin for Christians and Muslims both.

Let's not throw stones because of ones beliefs. I do believe in Christ and am not by any means best I can be. Just like everyone else I am a sinner.

Also like everyone here, I try and help if I can. I am not here to judge if ones beliefs are wrong or right, that is between that individual and God.

So can we get back to trying to help the OP now.
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post #207 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 05:43 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

Anything not dealing with that fact that the OP's wife cheating is jacking the thread.

This is not a debate of nude photography or what is or isn't porn.

This is not helping the OP.
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post #208 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 05:51 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Not a nun, a very happily married woman with a husband who would never act that way.Thank God for the good men.
I would LOVE to see your faces if your wives declared that they were going to be spending hours alone with a naked man to photograph them. LOL
Diana this is touching a sore spot with you it sounds like. But it is not helping the OP. OP has already say he should not of done this behind his wife's back. Also his photo sessions didn't give his wife the right to cheat on him. We need to move past this point and see what advice the OP can use going forward.
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post #209 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 06:00 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Not a nun, a very happily married woman with a husband who would never act that way.Thank God for the good men.
I would LOVE to see your faces if your wives declared that they were going to be spending hours alone with a naked man to photograph them. LOL
Diana, TAM is full of people that at one point believe this. They don't any more. I would say Junomech was one of them that never would have believed his wife could cheat on him, here he is.
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post #210 of 224 (permalink) Old 06-08-2017, 06:02 AM
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Re: I can't stop bringing up our relationship

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Originally Posted by ABHale View Post
Diana this is touching a sore spot with you it sounds like. But it is not helping the OP. OP has already say he should not of done this behind his wife's back. Also his photo sessions didn't give his wife the right to cheat on him. We need to move past this point and see what advice the OP can use going forward.
No not a sore spot, I just am amazed at what some married people think is appropriate behaviour. Makes me grateful for a good man. I would never treat him that way.

I never said it excused her affair,I hate cheating, but it would have deeply damaged the marriage and the trust.
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