Originally Posted by Rocket Skates76 View Post
You are free to believe her hopeless rendition of myself as an absentee husband and father but that is not the truth.
Me, perfect? Oh no.
The past year and a half, I did semi-shut down after her first forced admittance, because I was made to believe it was all my fault...I didn't know how to process all that through the anger and hurt.
I always thought she was the perfect one and I the failure.
Most people do..... shut down after their spouse has a damn affair. With me, cheating is a deal breaker.
I've never cheated, so I expect the same. Pop told me years ago.... -A man shouldn't cheat.
That's for the attention ho females. A good woman would never cheat. If you see another girl
you like more, be a man and walk up, tell her it's over. Don't be a chicken schit. And if she asks
why, tell her.-
Why is cheating a deal breaker for me? Yes you can still love a cheating wife / gf BUT... can you
ever trust her again? Love with out trust is very unhealthy and will grind at your insides.
RS'76..... and if indeed his W is on here..... proceed with the D. After all the cheating, this M has
been dead awhile, so kill it. Each work on yourself, and have the children as close to 50 / 50
as possible. Have coffee date every blue moon.... maybe a family outing a few times a year.
Maybe...... maybe..... 4-5 years later, something could happen. Right now.... too many bombs have
been dropped to "wipe it all away." And if a R is tried.... it has failure written all over it already.
Then what happens? Fast forward two years..... more miserable than now, hating each
other, dragging emotions through lawyers, and yes.... throwing the kids in the middle. I've seen it
95% of the time since my days in jr. high.
RS'76..... here's the deal with some about 65 hour weeks..... if you beat you brains out working
to provide for your family you will get -You are a great provider but not a great family man- or if
you cut back your hours to be available to family....... -You are a great family man but you are
not a great provider- Okay.... to that one should say "Pick one, you can't have both, if you want both,
you will have neither." Back in early 00's, WC and I had been M a few years, I was working 70-80
hours a week (was very stress free though). I get the -great provider / not family man- spill.
"Well... ya know.... wouldn't have to work all these hours if my income wasn't the only one coming
in to pay the bills (she had "medical issues" but had no problem sitting on her ass playing games
all day on AOL). How bouts you get off your ass and get, at least... a P/T job so I won't have to
work as much." She did..... I cut my hours. Problem solved.